about to wage war with my 3 y.o-can't take it anymore. please help!

[Enudely]

I am almost crying right now. My next step is to move 3 y.o dd's bed back to her room an force her to learn to put herself back to sleep. It will be a battle, there will be lots of tears.
She wakes me up 3 times a night. sometimes she has nightmares, but last night it was a stuffy nose. It's always something that makes her start yelling and she wakes everyone up, including the 9 month old who probably would be an o.k sleeper if it wasn't for her.
Her bed is pushed up against ours, and sometime in the night she starts yelling. Even if she does manage to quietly come to my bed, she needs to wake me up to ask to snuggle usually 3 times a night, and when she's not doing that, she's kicking me or putting her head on my pillow. She has to have her head on my arm to go to sleep.
Last night, the baby had a hard night, and my 3 y.o woke me up 4 times and I am just a complete wreck. It has. to. stop. I believe in the family bed, but it is not working for me, which makes me so sad I'm crying. I am cussing at her in the middle of the night. This really sucks. It's been going on and on for years and I cannot take it anymore. We want to have a third kid but there's no way If she does not friggin' learn to sleep through the night. My plan now is to wait until the new year, and explain what's going to happen, then move her bed to her own room and stop cuddling her to sleep. I know that's harsh, and it's not going to be fun. She NEEDS to learn to put herself to sleep. heeelp!

[sebandg'smama]

I can absolutely sympathize! My dd sounds exactly like yours. She has been in her own room since she was 2, but would call out for me to come and get her every night. I would ask her, please just get out of bed and quietly come into our bed for years! She just started doing that at age 4 and now she is 5 and infrequently comes into bed. But when she does, she still needs to sleep on my arm!

My dd loves her cd player and I have given her the option to put it on with one of her books on cd if she has trouble going to sleep.
Beyond that I have no advice, other than wait it out.

-Melanie

[MissLotus]

You should co-sleep if you guys actually - here's the key word - sleep. I co-slept with my son for ages, but our issue was that he wouldn't ever get to sleep his own, at about your child's age. I could sit there, cuddle, etc, till the cows came home, for hours, but the moment I budged, he'd want me back, and the whole thing would have to start all over again. Half my life was trying to get him to sleep. There is only so long one can deal with that. Finally I just put my foot down - did our bedtime routine, then left the room. He didn't like it, but in less than a week he adjusted and became an AMAZING sleeper after that! I then felt I'd been doing him a disservice to make him so reliant on me for his sleep needs - when he was able to be a little more independent in that way, he got more rest - I got more rest - I was more patient, a better mother, etc!

If it's not working for you, simplly don't do it! That doesn't mean you're unavailable to her, that you won't make exceptions, etc. But she is having no boundaries drawn and in your case, she is disrupting everyone else's sleep.