What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 8

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mrspineau

yep i got that one too! i got:

1. "your nails wont be getting done every four weeks when you have kids"
2. "your house won't be clean when there are toys everywhere"
3. "you'll find that a schedule just doesnt work."
4. "you say you will have rules, but you'll see the kids will end up ruling the house"

etc etc etc etc

It's great that you had kids who let you do all those things, but for most people going into it with those expectations results in them being really really angry with their LO when it doesn't work.

I hope you tell new mamas that you've been lucky because it's awesome when a baby responds well to a schedule, but forcing a baby into a schedule is disgusting and horrible. And forcing babies into schedules is what ends up happening when people who do have babies who respond well to schedules sing the praises of schedules.

You don't let your baby cry, but many people who'd say what you did would have let their baby scream and scream to accomplish the same result.

[mamarhu]

My favorite story is the time I was at work with my 2 week old daughter in a sling. I managed a tiny fishing resort, and was sitting out in the sun, nursing. I will grant you I was 38 YO, but really!?! A woman came up to me and asked, "Is this your 1st grandchild?"

Some years later, the same daughter was 12 or so, and note that I would have been around 50. We were buying a bunch of baby stuff from a craigslist ad. The poor woman was trying to be polite and not make the stupid comment about either of us being pregnant. But she was subtly trying to steal glances at either of us, to see which one might be pregnant. Means folks that we are, DD and I never cleared it up for her, and we still laugh about the poor confused woman.

[KempsMama]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

It's great that you had kids who let you do all those things, but for most people going into it with those expectations results in them being really really angry with their LO when it doesn't work.

I hope you tell new mamas that you've been lucky because it's awesome when a baby responds well to a schedule, but forcing a baby into a schedule is disgusting and horrible. And forcing babies into schedules is what ends up happening when people who do have babies who respond well to schedules sing the praises of schedules.

You don't let your baby cry, but many people who'd say what you did would have let their baby scream and scream to accomplish the same result.

This sounds like your blaming her for other people's poor parenting choices. I'm certain that's not what your meaning to say.

[Smithie]

I got a lot of the same kind of doom-and-gloom, and I felt like it was an attempt to INTIMIDATE me into giving up AP methods in favor of scheduling and CIO, because otherwise I'd be a miserable filthy bedraggled drudge. I don't think it does a darn bit of good to tell somebody that it's normal and healthy for them to be chronically exhausted and perform no personal or household maintenance for a couple of years. Lots and lots of parents can be AP without the whole martyrdom angle.

[Honey693]

Originally Posted by Smithie

I got a lot of the same kind of doom-and-gloom, and I felt like it was an attempt to INTIMIDATE me into giving up AP methods in favor of scheduling and CIO, because otherwise I'd be a miserable filthy bedraggled drudge. I don't think it does a darn bit of good to tell somebody that it's normal and healthy for them to be chronically exhausted and perform no personal or household maintenance for a couple of years. Lots and lots of parents can be AP without the whole martyrdom angle.

Yup. I could get my nails done, have a super clean house, and we do have a loose schedule. I prefer to keep my nails short and wear sweatpants and DH doesn't care if the house is messy so I usually don't either. But it's b/c i want to, not b/c OMG APing doesn't let you do anything.

[Xavismom]

IMO, I think I actually get WAY more sleep as an AP Mama than other people I know with small infants that do things other ways, like sleeping the baby in a dif room, and CIO.

I took DS in to see my work friends, and while I love all of them, they were VERY 'doom and gloom' about it, especially the things I told them I was going to do, like natural birth, BFing, co-sleeping, and cloth diapers.

They couldnt WAIT to hear about how awfull it all was, and when I told them all of it was fantastic, they were either shocked or didnt believe me, espcially when I told them how much I loved giving birth to DS. They still dont believe me when I tell them I love my cloth diapers.

I remember one girl in particular told me that her OB told her "97% of women who WANT natural child birth, either have a problem, or cave in on pain medication." My whole pregnancy she would keep harping on this, saying, dont get your hopes up, etc.

[LiLStar]

I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor

[smeisnotapirate]

Originally Posted by LiLStar

I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor

:

[Xavismom]

Originally Posted by LiLStar

I think what that OB means is, 97% of women under his care who want natural childbirth, he's able to find/invent a problem with or badger into getting drugs in labor

That is SOOOOO what I thought!! I didnt say anything to her though, bc she is dead set that NCB is near impossible. I would just smile and say, we'll see.

[St. Margaret]

Yeah, I loved how people would tell me I WOULD want the epidural. I just grinned and stopped listening, chanting "bubble of peace" inside my head. Or if it was that kind of person, told them I wasn't listening to negative statements about birth and flounced off Yay, Hypnobabies!

I also loved the MULTIPLE people who asked me if I had a place for the baby to sleep. I smiled and told them yes! (right next to me!) These were coworkers at a high school, who barely knew me. So nosey!

Next time I want the maternity shirt that says "epidural, shmepidural"

[GoGoGirl]

Originally Posted by mamarhu

My favorite story is the time I was at work with my 2 week old daughter in a sling. I managed a tiny fishing resort, and was sitting out in the sun, nursing. I will grant you I was 38 YO, but really!?! A woman came up to me and asked, "Is this your 1st grandchild?"

You'd think people would be smart enough to figure out that if you're nursing, you're probably the mom!

We just moved into a kind of fancy apartment complex where a lot of the residents have nannies. People keep asking me, or just assuming, that I'm the nanny. My favorite was a man who asked me, while I was breastfeeding my daughter, if I have any kids. Yeah, guy, I have this one. I know a lot of people here have household help, but I really doubt that extends to wet nurses!

[aurora_skys]

Ok, the dumbest advice Ive gotten lately is that I shouldnt allow my 16 mo to watch The Wiggles because they have a secret gay agenda. (Ah mil, you sure do believe everything you hear...) When I said that almost all were family men and that there was no evidence that any of them are gay she argued with me and then went on to say that all gay people are sexually fixated and promiscuous... Not really something that I want my son hearing especially since I have relatives who are gay and I love them very much. So yea, definitely the dumbest parenting "advice" Ive heard in a while!

[minkajane]

I had the worst day at work. I work in a maternity store and most of the time it's wonderful, but sometimes I get crazy days.

First, this guy came in with his wife and about six kids (not exaggerating). The bigger kids wandered around the store messing up my displays (though admittedly not seemingly maliciously). The little one, seemed to be almost 2, wandered in after everyone else, crying. She continued to cry the entire time they were there. For the most part, everyone just ignored her while she cried and begged for her Mommy.

The dad stood to the side making snarky comments while the pregnant mom carried big piles of clothes around and tried to figure out what he thought of things, which he refused to tell her. He continually made mean comments about the little girl crying, without speaking to her, cuddling her, anything. The mom said, "She needs a pacifier, she's tired." He said, "Well, if you'd pop her off the t*t, she wouldn't need a pacifier!" The mom ignored him and bought a pacifier for the little girl, which led to a 5-minute tirade on his part about why does he need to buy a f***ing pacifier for her, it's a waste of money, etc.

He then started complaining that he needed to give the girl Nyquil or Benadryl. At one point, he actually turned to me and asked if we sold Benadryl to "quiet kids." I glared at him and could barely choke out the word "No." I didn't say anything more than that because I would have said something rude and I don't want to get fired.

THEN when they were paying, he looked at the mom's belly and muttered, "Probably not mine anyway, don't know why I should pay for it." At that point, I was ready to kill the guy. I was polite to them, but not cheerful like I normally am with customers. I just wanted them to leave.

****

Right after that, a woman, her 3yo daughter, and her mother were shopping. For the first half hour they were there, the grandma played with the little girl, who was really sweet and well-behaved. After that, it seemed like she got tired of playing with her and waiting while her daughter shopped, so she spent the next half hour sitting in a chair telling her granddaughter to quit touching things, but not giving her anything to do. At one point, she wandered off to look at a table and the grandma said "If you take another step, I'm going to bust your butt!" She ended up going to get her and dragging her back to the chair. I don't know if she spanked her or not. I couldn't look. The mom said something to the effect of, "That's what you get, I saw you pushing Grandma's buttons!" She's THREE and you've been here an HOUR with no toys or books. The kid's bored out of her skull!

****

Last thing was a little one, but it irked me. A woman came in with her little girl, about 3, who was helping her pick out clothes. At one point, the girl wandered over to our nursing tops and pointed one out to her mom. The mom said very loudly. "Oh no, I'm not doing that breastfeeding thing. Nooooo way!" It just made me cringe the way she said it. Whether you choose to BF or not, you don't need to make it seem like something too horrible to even think about!

[transylvania_mom]

MIL to 5 y/o ds: "You are not allowed to cry. Big boys don't cry."
What annoys me is that she actually thinks what she says makes him feel better (because he stops crying).

It makes me

[ramlita]

[AFWife]

DH mentioned to a coworker that we don't vax.

Her response: But what's going to protect your child??
DH: ....his immune system


She's a sweet older lady so I can't make fun and be mean about it. I thought it was amusing.

[milkybean]

Originally Posted by minkajane

Something similar happened to me the other day. I was picking up DS's birthday cake at Walmart and out of nowhere the girl asked him if he wanted a cookie. I let him have it because he was already cranky and would have had a meltdown if I had said no, but I glared at the girl and said, "It's probably not a good idea to offer a kid a cookie without asking the parents first." She just kind of shrugged and said sorry. It was a peanut butter cookie too - how does she know he's not allergic to peanuts or diabetic or has Crohn's disease or anything?

My husband may or may not have gotten a bakery employee fired over a similar situation. Interestingly, this was well before we knew that DS can't have corn syrup products, but it was while we were still going VERY slowly with foods. The bakery worker just offered DS, not through DH, a cookie. And we've since found out that this place's more premium cookies are perfectly fine, but the cheapie ones they offer to kids for free are just junk.

DH told her absolutely not in no uncertain terms, and complained to the manager about her.

And then this employee was never to be seen again by us at the store. So...he didn't intend to have her fired, but it's possible it happened.

Originally Posted by boringscreenname

There's one worker at the Starbucks we go to inside the grocery store, who always offers DS a little cup full of whipped cream, every time we're there.

No I'm not going to feed my 16 month old that much sugar, then make him sit in the cart and endure a grocery shopping trip.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster, and I am NOT a glutton for punishment.

So...I've watched s'bux employees prepare the whipping cream spray thing, and it seems to be just cream, and it's insta-whipped by the air canister. Not sure there's any sugar in there.

NOT that it's right for them to offer whipped cow milk, but I'm not certain sugar is what you need to worry about with them, unless they're different from the s'buxes around here, and are using ReddiWhip etc etc.



I haven't gotten anything silly in so long. DS is 5.5 and everything we've done has worked out pretty well, so people are silent on current choices. Then again, we don't talk about our choices very often unless we KNOW the person is safe. OK so there are issues with corn syrup products, and he did have to have 2 teeth extracted (they grew in yellow turned brown, and started to erode...we assume it's genetics from DH's side and/or a later effects from the impact of a nasty table/face accident he had at 6 months that popped out a brand new tooth), but other than that, it's all worked.

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by milkybean

So...I've watched s'bux employees prepare the whipping cream spray thing, and it seems to be just cream, and it's insta-whipped by the air canister. Not sure there's any sugar in there.

NOT that it's right for them to offer whipped cow milk, but I'm not certain sugar is what you need to worry about with them, unless they're different from the s'buxes around here, and are using ReddiWhip etc etc.

Sbux whipped cream is prepared with 16 oz of heavy whipping cream and about 5 oz of vanilla syrup. It is then shaken, and "whipped" by the canister.

It is possible to make soy whip with the canisters that sbux uses (trust me, i've done it) but it is too spendy to do on a regular basis.

[frontierpsych]

I have strangers offer DS all sorts of stuff, not knowing he has a dairy and egg allergy. Irks me to no end!

[intrepidmother]

This was an easy one!

My BIL spent a good 10 minutes telling me how I should just shut the door and let it (my LO) cry, how I should put ear plugs in and teach it how to fall asleep, how I'm spoiling it by holding it all the time.... etc, etc....

After he had his say I responded "this coming from the person who refers to her as in IT." That shut him up. Did I mention this is a single 26 yr. old man?? What gives him the right to say anything!! Argh. In- Laws