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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? V - Page 45

post #881 of 1072
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ramlita View Post





That could be from her own experience- I've read that while a circ (mecry.gif ) is healing, the opening to the urethra CAN close up as the traumatized tissues heal.

Apparently the chemicals in plastic diapers increase the risk of this happening.

 

This is true. It can also readhere funny as it tries to heal. It's a nasty thing.
 

 

post #882 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by hasya View Post

Sapphire, that's entirely likely. I suspected an allergy several times but my elimination diet wasn't conclusive. I am off wheat now anyway and she is loads better but her incisors have come out too. So, I am not sure if it was teething or any allergy. I had been eating wheat for several weeks before the mucous began and JUST before teeth poked out. She had a runny nose and mucous in her stools until the day after the incisor came out. But of course, I have been avoiding wheat and dairy (the latter, for the most part), and she's doing fine.

 

Thankfully, her folic acid and B12 levels are fine as is her thyroid hormone. So, fingers crossed for it not to be coeliac disease (iron AND those are affected in coeliacs, I read).

 

Sorry for hijacking the thread, OP-

 

Does anyone know if, if there's an allergy, reactions like mucous begin immediately upon exposure or if it takes time or if both are possible? Teething keeps getting in the way of my elimination diet. And mucous always coincided with inflamed gums, and by the time the teeth come out, I have already been off wheat and dairy for several days. Teething goes away, mucous goes away, I cautiously return to wheat/dairy to see which is the culprit and she is just fine until the next bout of teething. But her doctor doesn't believe that teething may be the culprit and not ANYthing else! Grrrrr........


The allergies could be making the teething worse. They could be combining together into one big horrible experience. Dairy is a notorious one for taking forever (2-6 weeks!) to get out of the system. On the other hand, if the weight gain concerns began right as teething started, that would point more to it being teething related.

 

My concern is that low iron levels indicate poor absorbtion, which means you're going to want to consider leaky gut issues, and those take more time to heal up.

 

Is lead a concern at all where you live? If there's any chance, you can get lead testing kits from your local health department.

 

Also see what happens to her iron levels if you increase your vitamin C intake (and hers to the extent that she's willing to eat those foods).

 

Of course, the mamas over in the allergy forum know a million times more that I do, this is just the most basic stuff I've happened to pick up over time.

 

post #883 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post




She may have been joking...but I totally feel ya there. We went to a bday party when DS1 was around 6mo. One of the grandmas came up and asked, "Did Mommy give you some frosting?" Uhm, No... 1) He's 6mo 2)He has a dairy intolerance so *I* didn't even have any frosting. The best part was that when I politely said, "nope" she laughed and said, "Aww, well maybe next time."

 

Yeah...

 


I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda.  At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes.  My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting.  How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low? :)

 

post #884 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pavlovs View Post




I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda.  At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes.  My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting.  How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low? :)

 


You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring ;) I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.

 

post #885 of 1072
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post


You want an honest answer? there are other high-sugar foods that don't involve food coloring ;) I think the biggest issue with the frosting is all of the "stuff" in it, not the sugar content itself, though sugar content is a big issue if your kid doesn't need the extra sugar.

 


There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!

 

post #886 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post




There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!

 

lol.gif


 

 

post #887 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pavlovs View Post




I was *so* going to be the perfect parent with my first child - breastfed, wore baby all the time, yadda yadda.  At 6 months old he was diagnosed with diabetes.  My husband and I long joked that our son's first solid food was blue frosting.  How else are you going to raise a baby's blood sugar when they are going low? :)

 


I'm sure the OP would give her baby frosting if it were medically necessary. It's not really the same thing.

 

post #888 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post




There ARE other foods...but in a pinch you do what you have to do. If I had a child that needed a sugar boost NOW and all I had was frosting I'd do it...because babies can't have honey yet!

 


Oh, trust me, I'd do it in a pinch too. I might even do it in not-such-a-pinch. We don't eat super healthy all the time, heck, we don't eat super healthy 80% of the time. I'm NOT one of those only-let-your-kid-eat-organic kind of moms. I also let DS have way more sugar than most of the other kids and I'm not one to say "no sugar" just because he already had one piece of candy today.

 

I'm not blaming you for anything, if that's how you took it. I believe that, short of the kid showing signs of neglect, that the mom/dad is always right, and knows what is best for their kid.

 

(and I should mention, there are people who would disagree with you on the honey thing ...and I'm one of them winky.gif)

 

post #889 of 1072

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".guilty.gif

post #890 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjdmom24 View Post

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".guilty.gif



hug2.gif And just the kind of thing you didn't need to be hearing with postpartum hormones!

 

post #891 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjdmom24 View Post

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".guilty.gif


 

I wonder what she'll name it. Maybe "Thing."

 

I would love to watch that mom learn how hard it can be when you keep a closed mind about these kinds of things though. I did the carrying a carseat around for a little bit, and it sucked. If I had not decided to wear my baby, or breastfeed, or co-sleep, coupled with the fact that I had to actually take care of my baby on my own while DH was at work(no parents or inlaws or anything to help) AND manage to feed myself and keep a somewhat livable house, and occasionally cook dinner, I can guarantee you I would have gone completely nuts(I was already going a little nuts from lack of sleep and crazy hormones, but if I had to use my arms to hold my baby when he wouldn't stop crying, or had to listen to him cry his heart out, or had to lose out on sleep so I could bottle feed, or go back and forth between rooms all night, I would have lost it completely. 

 

and, I'm not trying to say that if you're going to be a good mommy, you have to do AP stuff. I'm just saying that you have to keep an open mind about stuff. Actually, if we had not fed DS the few bottles that we did(about 1/day, tapering off to 1/wk, then less frequently until he forgot how to use a bottle) I would have gone nuts. There were days that I needed DH to feed a bottle, or that need for DS to sleep without using me as a pacifier(usually painful to me) was greater than my preference to breastfeed. And there were times that I did fall asleep feeding him a bottle, while cosleeping. So I know I wouldn't have been able to handle even half-time bottle feeding. 

 

and I know we're not talking about bottle feeding. I'm just trying to illustrate a point. Keeping my options open meant I got to preserve a little bit of my sanity. 

post #892 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjdmom24 View Post

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".guilty.gif


greensad.gif

 

When DD was a week old, step-MIL told me I shouldn't hold her too much or she'd "get used to it". I told her that I'd been waiting 9 long months to hold her, why would I not want to?

post #893 of 1072

My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting.  You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then.  If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well.  That way you're raising the baby; the baby isn't raising you.  Also, his advice for the number one most important thing in child rearing is to "raise children that other people will like."  ?!?

 

I have 3 sisters and we were all Ferberized as babies - my dad's idea (he actually forced it on my mother).  Mind you, I have had issues with debilitating depression in my past (have even attempted suicide).  One of my sisters was severely bulim-arexic for years and had to be hospitalized for it.  Another sister is an alcoholic and the last sister is a compulsive over-achiever that I'm convinced has OCD (though she's never been diagnosed) and has suffered from milder forms of eating disorder.  I'm not saying all these issues are 100% attributable to the Ferberizing, but my father is awfully self-certain for a man with four children with such problems. 

post #894 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ablemec View Post

My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting.  You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then.  If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well.  That way you're raising the baby; the baby isn't raising you.  Also, his advice for the number one most important thing in child rearing is to "raise children that other people will like."  ?!?

 

I have 3 sisters and we were all Ferberized as babies - my dad's idea (he actually forced it on my mother).  Mind you, I have had issues with debilitating depression in my past (have even attempted suicide).  One of my sisters was severely bulim-arexic for years and had to be hospitalized for it.  Another sister is an alcoholic and the last sister is a compulsive over-achiever that I'm convinced has OCD (though she's never been diagnosed) and has suffered from milder forms of eating disorder.  I'm not saying all these issues are 100% attributable to the Ferberizing, but my father is awfully self-certain for a man with four children with such problems. 

But hey! At least "other people" like you.

 

I think you're right that the major issues are not 100% attributable to being left to scream, but I think it takes a certain sort of parent to be enthusiastic about letting babies cry and cry and cry and that sort of parent isn't going to be anymore supportive at 5 or 15 than they were at 5 months.
 

 

post #895 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amatullah0 View Post

I wonder what she'll name it. Maybe "Thing."


Meh, using "it" doesn't bother me. It gets cumbersome to say "he or she" or "the baby" all the time. I'm sure I said "it" at some point while I was pregnant. Heck, even when parents announce the sex they say, "It's a girl!" instead of "The valued human infant is a girl!" orngtongue.gif

post #896 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post



But hey! At least "other people" like you.

 

I think you're right that the major issues are not 100% attributable to being left to scream, but I think it takes a certain sort of parent to be enthusiastic about letting babies cry and cry and cry and that sort of parent isn't going to be anymore supportive at 5 or 15 than they were at 5 months.
 

 


I also think being raised to think the number one most important thing in the world was what other people thought of us contributed heavily to the need to find an outlet through some form of self-hurting. 

And you're right about not being supportive at 5 or 15.  After getting my stomach pumped as a teenager for an attempted suicide, father said "I think you're just a melancholy sort of person.  You should learn to pull yourself up by yourself or life is only going to get harder."  Thanks, dad.
 

 

post #897 of 1072

Oooh I want to play! Sadly, people... my DH said this one... not thinking (he comes from a huge family of formula feeders *sigh*)

 

We were with friends and talking about how we DON'T want any new neighbors to move into the house next to ours, just being silly. Then my DH blurts out "You should go out there and breastfeed DD!" like that was something super offensive and would stave off annoying new neighbors. Then, luckily, my cousin had the whit to say "Yeah, like that Tori Amos chick, you should go get a pig". Luckily it came from DH because I'd be REAL annoyed from anyone else. ;) 

 

post #898 of 1072

 

Quote:
My father shared some wisdom with me that his mother gave him, which he calls the vacuum theory of parenting.  You have a set time that you vacuum your house, and you do it then.  If the baby is asleep and it wakes him up, oh well.

See, if I had to guess what the "vacuum theory of parenting" was, I'd peg it as "if the noise of the vacuum helps your baby sleep, vacuum the house for two hours; it'll probably be the only housework you have time to do with a newborn anyway". :p

post #899 of 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjdmom24 View Post

Not a remark that was made too me but it was a sad comment. I was wearing my infant son in a wrap at an outdoor event. A woman and her pregnant daughter were standing near me...the mom pointed at me and said " you should get one of those things for your baby" and the daughter said with disgust "I have been carrying it for nine months why the hell would I want to carry it around like that".guilty.gif



One of my coworkers said something similar. Except I mentioned it because she had complained about how heavy he was to carry in the bucket.

 

I'm not sure if I was more disgusted at the comment, or baffled by how carrying the baby in a bucket seat is somehow less burdensome then the sling.

post #900 of 1072

okay- out of context this sounds like no big deal but it really really irked me at the time!!! the comment was- "you need a hat (for your baby)"

background: (rant- just had to get this silly story out somewhere!!!) it has been a rough few wks for me with our living situation- living temporarily in a nice place but it requires tons of driving to get anywhere social. ds is 14 months (almost). it takes 1/2 hour to get to any social place and I have a big anxiety about long drives with the baby. so the other day, it took a ton of work and self confidence for me to overcome my long driving fear (we are moving btw to where I will have to drive much less) and I managed to get ds and I to "town". That was exhausting enough! IT was a pretty sunny day bt not overly hot. I took ds toa play place and we had a great outing! he had a lot of fun. I was walking back to mycar- a short distance, wearing then tired out ds in the babyhawk mei tei. I had two hats in my bag- a cotton cap and a sun hat. ds had been pulling off his hats every time I put them on him. I decided not to put on his hat because I figured a minute of sunshine on is head was probably good for him. I walk out and I am feeling pretty pleased with myself, having successfully done an outing with ds that was really challenging for me. I was feeling lovey dovey with ds and kind of had my hands softly covering his head, sort of keeping the sun out of his eyes. I was also tired and stressed. so this man walks by and sees me with my hand on ds's head and blurts out- you need a hat. and it just pissed me right off. it was the way he said it- like, implying that I was a neglectful parent= when really I had just put everything I had that day into taking top notch care of my baby! It just made me feel so defensive. I know people are random and who knows if he even meant anything by it but it made me angry for him to holler out that I "need" a hat- like- thanks, dude- I never would have considered that, you know more about my baby than I do. I totally over reacted but it was the essence of someone criticizing my parenting when I was making such an effort and it was such a hard day!!

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