When grandparents seem to instigate the situation

[busymama77]

What do you do? How do you handle it? Do you say anything to them or do you take care of the situation as you would if they weren't around?

Yesterday, my dad was playing with DS and things were getting pretty rowdy. We were out to lunch, he was talking loud, pulling on my dad's beard, wouldn't sit in his chair, and certainly wouldn't listen to me. So, I had to pull DS aside for a cool down moment - to get away from the excitement. My dad seemed bummed about what I had done and wanted to continue to play. That bothered me a little but I explained that he's got to listen, behave properly when in public and he wasn't doing any of those things - sort of made me sound like the bad guy.

Any thoughts or suggestions for future situations - should they arise?

[justice'smom]

No thoughts here, but I deal with the same thing and would love suggestions.

[Cersha]

Originally Posted by justice'smom

No thoughts here, but I deal with the same thing and would love suggestions.

me too.

[mumkimum]

Don't have great advice either, but wanna tag along and see what people say.

[sahmama_12]

Subbing.

[sgmom]

My honest opinion? I wouldn't worry about it much at all, unless of course they were disputing the people sitting around them.

But my advice is that I wouldn't even bother with my child... I'd go straight to my dad and ask him to please stop encouraging such behavior in public, then explain to him that it's important to you that your son learn to behave (use his manners) when out of the house. Hopefully, dad will understand and the two of you can work together to get your son calmed back down (and resume play when we get back home).

Honestly though, if I had been in that restaurant and had seen a grandpa playing with his grandson like that, I guarantee you it would put a smile on my face.

[crowcaw]

After the first couple of times when I sat there shushing everyone and feeling like a kill joy I talked to the grandparents when we weren't out and when dds weren't around. FIL was the worst, MIL not great either. FIL loves loud games that get dds squealing and MIL, who is very loud herself, thinks the world revolves around the 2 little girls and anyone watching would just think how cute they are. I just explained to gps that when I am with the girls alone I need dds to be moderately restrained or where I can take them will be really limited so I don't need the grandparents modeling and encouraging raucous and loud behavior. If the gps want to go out to restaurants and the like with us they have to behave at least as well as I expect the girls to. They have plenty of other time for goofy play when it won't disturb people who don't appreciate hearing 2 squealing 2 yo's. Though I think my language to the gps was a little gentler they did get and respect what I said, at least eventually. And now they brag to all their grandparent friends about how well their grandchildren are at sitting in restaurants and other social situations. Go figure.

[busymama77]

[QUOTE=sgmom;14829408]My honest opinion? I wouldn't worry about it much at all, unless of course they were disputing the people sitting around them.

But my advice is that I wouldn't even bother with my child... I'd go straight to my dad and ask him to please stop encouraging such behavior in public, then explain to him that it's important to you that your son learn to behave (use his manners) when out of the house. Hopefully, dad will understand and the two of you can work together to get your son calmed back down (and resume play when we get back home).

Honestly though, if I had been in that restaurant and had seen a grandpa playing with his grandson like that, I guarantee you it would put a smile on my face.[/QUOTE]

I agree 100%. When DS and I are out by ourselves and we see other grandparents with their grandkids, you can bet that it makes me smile, too. But in this certain situation the other day, it was one thing after another and nothing was getting solved. A cool down and brief talking to my dad (which my mom took the lead on while I was talking to DS) was what we all needed to enjoy our time together and eat lunch.

[lonegirl]

I totally relate. His grandad and bubby encourage loud, crazy behaviour (especially his bubby) and I am constantly reminding them that he has to calm down a bit or he will get out of control and not stop. This especially irks me in a restaurant because we go out a lot and we are generally quite happy and proud of his behaviour but if you get him going...well he gets completely crazy. FIL is pretty good about listening to our requests but his wife, that is another story.