Help! Too attached?... - Page 2

[JL83]

Originally Posted by CliffsideMama

I'm so glad to hear this is somewhat "typical" behaviour!

I'm mostly concerned about our nighttime parenting. I can and do leave her with her very capable Dad on the weekend for fun outings or play at home while I go out. She's very happy with him except if going to sleep is involved!

I went back to work part time when DD was 11 months. Her dad worked from home 2 afternoons a week and had to put her for naps. I was terrified because, until that point she'd only ever fallen asleep nursing or in the car. I had the car at work and DH doesn't have boobs...

I was really impressed with how they worked it out. They did have some miserable days, but they got through them and figured each other out. I think it was really good for their relationship.

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

She's only two! In many ways, she's still a baby, and acting in very age-appropriate ways. Sometimes, with a littler one in the family or on the way, we start expecting our bigger babies to be "big kids" before they're ready.

Nobody can be "too attached" at age 2.

yep. that.

[TiredX2]

Moved to "Toddlers"

[hlao23]

Originally Posted by bebebradford

I think sharing that strong bond is great, but you need to help her learn to be comforted from other relatives as well. ESP her father. While our babes rely on us for support, it's also good to teach a bit of independence. I would start leaving for maybe an hour each evening.. and just let your husband take care of her. What if you were hospitlized, etc? She would HAVE to rely on someone else to put her to sleep and all that.

Agree with this. I think it's good for DH too. DBS ALWAYS wanted me and it was starting to make DH feel a little bad sometimes. DH now takes care of bath/bed routine. Very nice for all of us and a very special time for them.

[kdtmom2be]

Originally Posted by CliffsideMama

I think a strong attachment with Dad is sooo important, as most of you are saying. It is hard sometimes to not step in if I'm around and know what she wants and he doesn't. I find it best that they're home and I'm out or vice versa.

Thanks for all the support, mamas!

In regards to this, if I am home and DD is having a fit needing something and DH is feeling clueless, I try to help them both by saying something like "DD, daddy can't understand that you are asking for XYZ because you are whining/crying/etc." That way, SHE knows that her behaviour is inappropriate and HE knows what the problem is, yet I don't have to solve it and they can then work it out themselves.

[Artichokie]

I haven't read all the replies, but I wanted to chime in and vote for "perfectly normal." I have a happy, well adjusted, very independent, newly-2 yr old. During sleeping hours, however, she NEEDS mama. No one else will do. I'm the only one of my friends who can't do anything social after 9 pm, and sometimes that feels lonely. But I remind myself that they are wee for such a relatively short period of time, and then I will no longer be the very center of her universe. I'm reveling in that relationship while it is present.

[Materfamilias]

It sounds normal to me, but maybe that's just because it's what DD is doing

[CliffsideMama]

I was lying in bed, thinking about this post (why? good question!) and I thought about my line "the light at the end of the attachment tunnel" and how this is NOT what I meant to say about AP.... likening it to a tunnel is not at all how I feel about parenting. I love babywearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, all of it! I just meant that I hope to see some independence soon.

[almadianna]

Originally Posted by CliffsideMama

I was lying in bed, thinking about this post (why? good question!) and I thought about my line "the light at the end of the attachment tunnel" and how this is NOT what I meant to say about AP.... likening it to a tunnel is not at all how I feel about parenting. I love babywearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping, all of it! I just meant that I hope to see some independence soon.

Can I ask why? Your child is only 2 years old. I think that expecting independence from a toddler might be asking a bit much. Sure some can be and are... and if it happens that is great!! But expecting or hoping for it might set you up for frustration. This will end soon enough mama but for now maybe enjoy the ride?