I need some reasuarance re:dd sleep habits

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

I have been so content with whatever dd (7mo) wants to do sleep-wise. I wear her for all her naps. Nurse her to sleep at night and co-sleep. She basically sleeps on my boob all night but I just go with it. With ds1 I stressed so much about where the baby "should" sleep and how baby should fall asleep etc. This time around I want to just go with my gut. Still, I get so anxious when my grandma is astonished that I have to wear her for her nap...."you mean she doesn't have a bed to sleep in"?? Ummm no
My friends have all used some sort of training without cio to get their lo's to sleep alone and they all sleep so much better now. I hate thinking about that fact People are always saying my dd is so tired and I am like, ummm she just woke up from her 20 min nap lol. I hate feeling like maybe I should be doing something different to get her to sleep better. I am too scared to try anything even super gentle. I do not want to stress but it is so hard when you are constantly bombarded with info that says I could get my dd to sleep better. I just need some validation that following my heart is the right thing to do. Does anyone else out there feel this anxiety???

[nichole]

Yes, I can be so sure of myself and when lots of people around me interject their "advice," it really can get me down on my parenting. My kids were the same way. One day I eventually was able to shush them back to sleep at the 20 minute mark, and that did help. These things happen gradually.

They did stop napping at 2yo and I'm sure most people think that's crazy. Whatever!

Keep up the good work.

[Teddy'sMom]

I totally know what you mean about sleep anxiety!

I don't know how old you dd is, but it does seem to me that if she truly seems tired a lot during the day that she may not been getting enough sleep.

I think if your techniques are working for her then keep them up and screw what everyone thinks, but if they are not, then you might have to adjust for her. Maybe you are feeling this way anyway and that is why you wrote the post?

I am not saying anything like cio, but maybe you just have to try some adjustments to help her take longer naps, etc... I had DS2 in the sling for naps until he was 4 months, but after that I just could not do it for every nap....he was getting too big and it was hard on DS1 because i was always telling him that i could not get down on the ground or asking him to try to be a bit quiet. I am so glad that DS2 now take naps in his bed even if i do have the nurse him down at nap times. i an not saying this is the answer for you, just giving my own experience.

i agree that you should go with you gut with parenting, but it sounds to me like your gut might be questioning what you have been doing.

am i way off base?

[kdescalzi]

You are not off base. I am questioning my parenting techniques because maybe I am too scared to change her sleep habits but maybe she needs me to. KWIM?

[nukuspot]

My DD is 8 months and only naps on us. She has napped alone only a few times. I think if it works for you, keep doing it! I know that my LO sleeps much longer and better quality when she is on me or DH for naps. But she sleeps for a few hours, not 20 minutes...Maybe try to get her to sleep alone and compare how well it goes to what she is doing now?

[BlueWolf]

Honestly, if you're happy and your LO is happy, then that's all you should really worry about. What works for one person doesn't always work for the next. So if you have something that's working for you and your family, why fix what's not broken?

[JMJ]

If wearing her for all her naps and sleeping with her on your boob is still working for you, confidently tell people that you are not concerned about your DD's sleep, that you've got something that is working for you, that she is getting enough sleep, and is as happy as can be. If you look practically at the situation, this set-up will not work forever, but we attached mammas often use these techniques a lot longer than the rest of our culture is comfortable with.

At various points in time throughout your DD's life, you'll find that you need to make little adjustments to your routine to best accomodate your child's needs. Have confidence in yourself that you can see when the changes are needed and make them. Nobody on MDC or otherwise can tell you when your DD is ready for the next stage because it doesn't have to do with age. It has to do with your DD's needs and your needs.

My DD is almost 9 months old now and has always been able to sleep in bed, but I always nurse her to sleep and lie with her for a while after she goes to sleep. She would not be able to fall asleep on her own without crying, and I probably wouldn't be able to get her to stay asleep if I set her down in a crib without inserting my boob.

I'll often nap with her for a time, but I'll usually sneak away after a while. Sometimes, I'll come back and nurse her more when she stirs, and she'll go back to sleep. At night, she sleeps with unlimited boob access. When we're out and about, she sleeps in a carrier. She sleeps pretty well in the carrier. Some naps are quite short, but if she needs a long nap, she'll take one. When she was about 4-6 months old, she wouldn't take more than a 15-20 min nap if she wasn't in a bed. I really missed the flexibility that I had being able to be out while she was napping. I was so glad when she started napping in the carrier again.

I like our routine. It gives me flexibility to do what I want to do without compromising DD's needs. Also, she's not on a schedule yet, so I never know from one day to the next when she's going to need a nap. If I had to get her back to a bed to take a nap every time, I wouldn't be able to make any commitments to be anywhere at any time. I just don't see any reason to change anything at least until I have some clue when she'll be napping.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by BlueWolf

Honestly, if you're happy and your LO is happy, then that's all you should really worry about. What works for one person doesn't always work for the next. So if you have something that's working for you and your family, why fix what's not broken?

This.

Your baby is still young. If what you're doing is working for her, there is no need to jolt her out of it. She'll grow out of it naturally, and probably be a lot happier for it.

If you get flack from anyone about it, do the " *smile* Thanks, but this is really working for us right now. Maybe we'll change things up later on down the road [which is sometimes a fib]." *change subject*.

Usually works for me

[marispel]

If your routine is working then stick with it, but if you have concerns you may want to adjust your routine. IMO helping your LO to sleep without so many props is needed as they get to this age. I'm sure you would agree that it would be nice to put her down in the crib and let her nap for a couple hours - but she won't learn how to do that unless you let her. Soon, you'll have a one year old that won't know how to take a nap without you laying down beside her. I read this all. the. time on these boards.

You can gently work with her to help her nap on her own or sleep at night without constantly nursing. Just like us, they need their sleep at night..we don't need to eat all night long and neither do they. The more sleep they get the better but constantly waking up throughout the night is not STTN.

IDK - if it works for you, continue, but if you are looking to change things then all I can say is "be consistent" with whatever you choose to do.