My mom is 48, the mother of 4, grandmother of one and wife to one pain in the butt dad. She is hilarious, and gracious. She taught me not to fear differance, to love wholly and instilled an independance I treasure.
This is her second run-in with breast cancer in less then a decade. We learned less then 4 months ago what was thought to be asthma was cancerous tumors blocking her air ways. At the same time it was decided she needed lung surgery to permanently drain a lung and remove tumors. We learned during surgery that it's inoperable. She started chemo weekly laughing about hair loss and depends. Then we learned it had spread to her spine. The next week (about 3weeks ago) we found out it's in her ribs. She started radiation daily focusing only the places causing her the most pain. This was right after they learned they couldn't put a pain bloc in b/c it would puncture her good lung (which is accumulating fluid). Fri, after extensive testing we learned chemo is no longer a viable option.
Through this all has been swollen portacaths, her teeth are loosening, her lymphodema is debilitating, she has had side effects to all treatments etc, etc.
I just can't seem to *grasp* this all. (throw in that my g-ma also has cancer I and I just found out my bio dad passed a year ago) She is so full of life. My youngest sister is only 16. My other 2 sibs are 18 and 20, she has a one year old grandson. She has graduations, and birthdays and weddings and party's to go to. My mother is the center. How can this be happening? She fell today into a box of Christmas presents and couldn't get back up. She called me later laughing about it. I just don't 'get' it.
It's just that...everyone should have someone like her in their life and I'm not ready to start letting go. I say I am, but not really. How can the stars still be beautiful and the wind blow. Shouldn't it all stop? Just for a minute?
This is her second run-in with breast cancer in less then a decade. We learned less then 4 months ago what was thought to be asthma was cancerous tumors blocking her air ways. At the same time it was decided she needed lung surgery to permanently drain a lung and remove tumors. We learned during surgery that it's inoperable. She started chemo weekly laughing about hair loss and depends. Then we learned it had spread to her spine. The next week (about 3weeks ago) we found out it's in her ribs. She started radiation daily focusing only the places causing her the most pain. This was right after they learned they couldn't put a pain bloc in b/c it would puncture her good lung (which is accumulating fluid). Fri, after extensive testing we learned chemo is no longer a viable option.
Through this all has been swollen portacaths, her teeth are loosening, her lymphodema is debilitating, she has had side effects to all treatments etc, etc.
I just can't seem to *grasp* this all. (throw in that my g-ma also has cancer I and I just found out my bio dad passed a year ago) She is so full of life. My youngest sister is only 16. My other 2 sibs are 18 and 20, she has a one year old grandson. She has graduations, and birthdays and weddings and party's to go to. My mother is the center. How can this be happening? She fell today into a box of Christmas presents and couldn't get back up. She called me later laughing about it. I just don't 'get' it.
It's just that...everyone should have someone like her in their life and I'm not ready to start letting go. I say I am, but not really. How can the stars still be beautiful and the wind blow. Shouldn't it all stop? Just for a minute?
I’m so sorry that you are all going through this...
You mother sounds so amazing. I HATE the fact that I have no advice on how to fix this. What about 2nd opinions?? I wish I had a miracle cure. I will be praying. I am so sorry, but the words sounds so petty.. My heart aches for you, your brave mother, and your family. Take things one day at a time, one minute at a time if you have to..
