Night weaning question...

[momofadella]

I'm currently nursing my 16.5 month old DD every 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours throughout the night. I've been doing this for over a year now and I'm SO SO TIRED! I've always personally thought that I wouldn't ever night wean, and that I'd like to let her lead the way, but at this rate, I'm having a hard time believing she'll ever sleep more than 4 hours in a row without nursing. I'm afraid that by night weaning her, she'll actually begin day weaning too. Has anyone found this to be the case? Thanks :-)

[lifeguard]

We JUST started night weaning this week. I am making an effort to offer more during the day to make up the difference. So far he certainly is not showing any signs of decreases daytime sessions. And now in the morning he is really into that first session!

[MLA]

I nightweaned at 10 months. We regressed due to illness, travel and lots of other stuff going on, so I've just re-nightweaned. DS is almost 15 months old. I've not noticed him dayweaning at all. In fact, I feel like he's nursing MORE during the day now than he was.

If you're exhausted, I think you should consider nightweaning. It's been a lifesaver for me. I never got more than a 2 hour stretch from DS, and it was killing me. Now I get at least one 4 hour stretch and sometimes a 6-8 hour stretch of sleep. It's made a huge difference in the way I feel. And DS seems just fine. It took a few nights of some crying and fussing, but not much, and now he's perfectly fine w/not nursing at night.

[Maluhia]

Just a reminder from our User Agreement

We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, gentle weaning, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions on the merits of crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations.

A babe crying in arms is something that happens as a parent in all sorts of cirucumstances, but let us remember that we don't host disucssions here on the "merits" of allowing a baby to cry alone.


On the subject of your question - it seems that your child is at a really developmental time and every four hours is exhausting you. I'm not sure that not nursing every four hours would mean that your child would not wake up at those times and need to be comforted back to sleep so the journey may be quite a slow one. Can your DH comfort your child instead of you nursing for ONE wake up in the night and see how that goes?

[momofadella]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

A babe crying in arms is something that happens as a parent in all sorts of cirucumstances, but let us remember that we don't host disucssions here on the "merits" of allowing a baby to cry alone.

Hi, OP here - I guess I'm a bit confused with your statement...I never mentioned letting my daughter CIO in my original post. Who said anything about "allowing a baby to cry alone?" I am against that and was only considering the possiblity of gently trying to night wean. I've seen Dr. Gordon's night weaning approach mentioned on here a number of times...is that considered unacceptable by MDC standards?

Thanks, I was just confused and caught off gaurd by your post...please clarify.

[etsdtm99]

i night weaned my DD at about 19 months -she had finally, slowed down and then i got pregnant and she was nursing constantly because there was no milk, so the circumstances were a little different (i had tried to night wean her at 10 and 15 months and it did not work even a little so we gave up quickly), but i now have a 19 month old DS and i'm seeing a similarity in his sleep patterns to hers at the same age .. basicaly, at 15-16 months i thought i would never sleep again and that whichever child would never let me sleep or learn to sleep more.. with DD i didn't have a plan until i got pg and something HAD to change.. but with DS i just let it go.. he got all his 1 yr molars and k-9 and literally the NEXT NIGHT after the last 2 teeth broke through he only woke up 1-2 times.. he woke up at around 2am and 6:30am .. he has done that for the past few weeks (he has a cold currently and only woke up more often one night!) He still sleeps in our bed or a side car crib full time .. he does nurse a couple extra times during the day now and is eating a lot more big people food .. so, i guess i'm just saying i would wait it out just a little bit longer if you can and don't want to night wean.. it will be easier to night wean (on you and DD) if she can understand what you are telling her (mommy has to sleep, milk has to sleep etc) which usually happens around 18 months and she might just start sleeping better on her own..

[Maluhia]

Originally Posted by momofadella

Hi, OP here - I guess I'm a bit confused with your statement...I never mentioned letting my daughter CIO in my original post. Who said anything about "allowing a baby to cry alone?" I am against that and was only considering the possiblity of gently trying to night wean. I've seen Dr. Gordon's night weaning approach mentioned on here a number of times...is that considered unacceptable by MDC standards?

Thanks, I was just confused and caught off gaurd by your post...please clarify.

Not addressing your post at all I promise - just putting a reminder in when a discussion could be accidentally steering in the non-NFL direction.

I want to make sure that you get the best possible Mothering advice on gentle night weaning and nighttime parenting

[Pavlovs]

I felt much like you describe when my older son was around 15 months (although 4 hour stretches were rare it was 2-3 hour stretches for us all night long). I tried cutting down to one feeding per night, and after a couple of nights it was obvious he just wasn't ready. A couple of months later I tried again and it was soooo easy. I figure that he was ready for it, so although it wasn't child-led, I didn't push him into anything he wasn't ready for. When he was ready it was easy to see the difference from the first time I had tried. I learned with things to try when I was ready, but if he obviously wasn't ready then I'd try again in a month or two - that approach has helped from everything to night weaning to potty training to transitioning him into his own bed.

Good luck, mama!

[ihathi]

Both of my boys started to actually increase the frequency of their night-nursing around 16-17 m/o and, as a result, we nightweaned both of them at 18m/o. Both times, I felt a lot like you--just too exhausted to continue on...

Our trick for nightweaning was basically for me to move out of the bedroom and leave DH to do the night-parenting for about 2 weeks. We were shocked at how quickly and painlessly (virtually no tears) both boys passed through this transition and I doubt it could have been nearly as quick or painless if they had been much younger. My DH just held them and rocked them back to sleep the few times they would wake up during the "weaning weeks"--neither ever cried for more than 5-10 minutes (we really have no tolerance for listening to them cry, even in arms!)

So, to address your question, DS1 continued to nurse well into his 3rd year in spite of nightweaning at 18 m/o. DS2 is now 21 m/o and completely nightweaned but still nurses avidly in the daytime. In fact, I feel that, in his case, the nightweaning has led to slightly more nursing during the day.

I've never heard of a child weaning completely as a consequence of night-weaning. I personally feel that weaning at night actually preserved my nursing relationship with both boys!

Good luck!

Kathy

[pinky]

In my experience with my two kids, they are all different. My first we nightweaned at around 2, and it dramatically helped with her nightwaking. It had no noticeable affect on her daytime nursing. My second never took to nightweaning--we tried it a couple of times out of desparation, but all that ever happened was that she was awake and pi%%ed off, which was hardly an improvement.

Trust your instincts about your baby. They won't lead you astray.

[boobs4milk]

we night weaned dd3 at about 17 mos when i was pg and sick and exhausted. she did really well with it but we went much more slowly than even dr. gordon suggests. we did what she could tolerate and only pushed the issue when we felt she was ready. it took us about 5 wks total, but i really believe she was ready to get some better sleep time, too. she became a more efficient nurser after that and we all felt better.

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp