tell me about your pacifier use for babes who need to suck!

[zoeart]

I'm looking for some support/insight from other moms of "high-sucking-need" babes. Our little guy was sucking on our fingers until we got him a pacifier at 6 weeks. I had to use my finger often to let him comfort suck before and/or after he would latch on since I had overactive letdown/oversupply, and then the paci filled that need once we got it.
This is a baby who just wants something in his mouth almost all the time, and is not picky about what it is! He had no preference for one bottle nipple over the other, my finger vs DH's larger finger, etc.
At 4 months, it now looks like we *might* be heading to be using it mainly in the car, for naps/nighttime sleeping, and sometimes to help him nurse. But, a few of my concerns are:
He often likes to keep it in his mouth the whole time he is asleep, and will wake up immediately or much sooner than he would otherwise if we pull it out once he's asleep.
He's started with some teething discomfort, and the paci is pretty much the only thing he wants to put in his mouth/can keep in his mouth himself. He'll chew on it instead of sucking sometimes.
He'll sometimes put his fist in his mouth, but he's a little guy ( 11 lbs at 4 months) and his thumb is still not big enough to be satisfying!
I'd really love to hear from moms with similar babes, especially if your babe is older and you can tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel on all this. Did you wean from the paci? At what age? or did it happen naturally?
I go back and forth between thinking that I wouldn't have done anything differently and I was just responding to what he needed, and then thinking that I've created some sort of dependancy in him on the paci! I won't mind if he is sucking his thumb for comfort/sleeping later on, but I don't want to end up with a toddler with a pacifier in his mouth... help!

[ktmama]

First of all, kudos to you for responding to his needs. Your little guy sounds so much like mine! At 6.5 months, he is using the paci for sleeping and for in the car when he gets fussy. He's also gotten to a place where he will spit it out when sleeping and not need it re-inserted. You'll get there!

I agree that I would NOT like a toddler with a paci in his mouth either. I will tell you, however, that between the paci and swaddling, my ds lost his ability to suck his thumb. I was pretty bummed about that.

[Kelly1101]

Mine has never taken a paci all that well. Really the time we used it a lot was when she was about 3 months old. She wanted to suck so badly, but refused the boob, and my pinkie finger was getting completely worn out, and she couldn't coordinate to get her thumb in her mouth yet.

So really didn't like the paci, though. She would spit it out unless you sat there holding it for her.

Thank god pretty soon after that she started finding her thumb and comforting herself with that. Probably as soon as your baby starts getting satisfaction from the thumb, he'll drop the paci.

[StrawberryFields]

My ds (now age 4) used a pacifier quite heavily as a baby. It didn't cause us any problems and when he turned 1 I started looking for a window of opportunity to take it away. When he was about 14 months I felt like he was ready and we got rid of it and it was no big deal at all.

One thing that I was really mindful of was not sticking the pacifier in his mouth unless he really needed it or requested it. I don't know if that made it easier to get rid of it or not, but I notice that some friends of mine who would always stick the pacifiers in their babies' mouths over and over and over almost mindlessly had babies who ended up really dependent on them.

[Plarka]

DD was a very sucky baby, she used her pacifier a lot. I got it when she was about 6 weeks but should have gotten it earlier! I heard it's easiest to take it away at 8-10 months, so we stopped giving it to her at 8 mo and it wasn't a huge deal. I am so glad we did, cause now she is almost 2.5 and does not use a pacifier! I know some people don't think it's a big deal, but like you, I personally did not want a toddler walking around with a paci in her mouth.

At about 4 mo, we introduced a little blankie, it was really a tiny baby washcloth, we had a package of them. It was for her to hold instead of knocking the paci out of her mouth at night, that was annoying! I think it helped that she had that when we stopped the pacifier.

[mamasthree]

All 4 of my kids have had a paci. We instituted the "nap/nighttime/car-trips-where-sleeping-may-be-involved" rule around 6 months. My first was an easy-going kid, we took it away before age 2, no problems. #2 had hers until she was 3. #3 still uses a paci (only in bed) and she is 3. #4 uses hers at night/naps and in the car if it's time to sleep.

[zoeart]

Thanks for all the replies! Starting to restrict use more around 6-8 months sounds good to me... and it will also help when we have some more teething toys ( hoping sophie the giraffe will work her magic!) It's just great to hear from other moms on this issue. I've been giving DS a small stuffed animal to hold so he doesn't grab the paci out of his mouth, but sometimes he starts trying to stuff the animal in his mouth while he still has the paci in there!

[JHopesMomma]

I just wanted to reply, because I know the feeling you have about there being a light at the end of the tunnel! I was the same way about the pacifier, since our daughter always seemed to have it in and couldn't fall alseep without it. Even after she was finished nursing at bedtime she wouldn't fall asleep without her binky! She's almost 10 mo. now, but we stopped using it completely at about 7 or 8 months. She got a bad case of thrush and we had a feeling that the binky was just making it worse so we did away with it all at once. The first few days were tough, but I just nursed her whenever she got really upset, and soon it was as if she never had one in the first place! I think this was a good age to do it too, since she isn't old enough (unlike a toddler maybe) to be really aware of the fact that it's being taken away. I hope this helps, and good luck!

[YayJennie]

I also had a major over supply and over active let down, which is what lead us to introducing a pacifier around 6 weeks. My babe just couldn't suckle at the breast, and he needed to in order to fall asleep. Once we found a pacifier he liked (soothies brand is the only one he would take), life got a lot easier. I do NOT think it's a bad thing for a babe to be "dependent" on the pacifier. It's just another tool to use to help your babe! Although my son has been dependent on the soothie to sleep since we introduced it, he falls asleep without a problem so long as he has it, so I don't see it as a problem. Yes, sometimes he wakes if it falls out, but you pop it back in his mouth and he's out again. Personally, I'd rather have him take the pacifier than have a difficult time getting him to sleep! And we bought (literally) a dozen soothies so we could stash them everywhere. A bunch in the car, next to the bed, all over the house, so we're never without one.

Now, at 9 months old, he's definitely weaning himself off the soothie, but still takes it in the car and usually to nap (although he will sometimes fall asleep without it. But once he's asleep it falls out and he's fine). I intend to let him wean himself from the soothie, as I don't want to take away something that he needs and provides him comfort. I'm almost positive he'll have weaned himself of it by a year, but even if he still needs it to sleep, I'm fine with that. We really only give it to him when he's in the car or going down to sleep, but I do carry them with my in case of a meltdown. It helps him. Also, around 8 months old, he started to be able to put the soothie in his mouth by himself. So all I have to do is pass it back to him in the car, or if he wakes up, he can find it and put it back in his mouth. So that helps a lot too.

I know there's a lot of different opinions about pacifiers, but I am so glad we introduced it to my son and I have no regrets!

[darcytrue]

My DD has had a pacifier from the beginning. She is 3 months old now. She's never had any nipple confusion. She also loves to suck on her fists and sometimes will drop the paci out just to get her hand in her mouth instead, lol.

[Kiwiontheloose]

Hey - just wanted to say I could've written that post at 4months!
We tried to take the paci off DD at around 4months (cold turkey) and it was awful. I had heard its awful for the first day then it gets easier and they don't need it by the 3rd day..but this was bad advice, it only got harder for our girl. She obviously REALLY needed it. Your girl sounds the same, so just let her have it.
As for some light at the end of the tunnel, we weaned DD off the swaddle at around 5months, and shortly after that she was able to find the paci and put it back in her mouth when she needed at (at nap/night times). This made a big difference to lenght of sleeps etc, because if she woke after a sleep cycle and I didn't wake up straight away to put the paci back in, she would do it herself, and go back to sleep.
She is now 7months and only uses the paci when in bed, and when sleeping will be involved ie long car trips/walks.
Hope that helps.

[elmh23]

I've had to "high suck need" children. The first refused anything other than a boob or my pinky. Occasionally she'd be okay with dh's pinky. The second took a paci from birth to help him get latched on. It was seriously the only way he'd open his mouth and after he'd been sucking on it for a minute or two, I could take it out and shove in the boob, lol. He LOVED his paci and had it in his mouth a lot, but he did self-wean from it at 10 months old. I was actually really bummed because he chose to do it at the same time he was cutting teeth, learning to walk and dh had gone out of town for business. It was a crappy week

[Critty]

My DD is 7 months and her need for her paci (also a Soothie addict, she will only take the green ones for 0-3m) has lessened over the past few months. She still wants it for naps and in the car and about 30 minutes before she goes to bed. I think of giving it to her then as part of her bedtime routine, it soothes her. I am not really worried about her having it as a toddler ... she seems to be relying on it less and less, but I don't want to take anything away from that she needs to soothe herself. I have been trying to introduce a blanket with zero success - lol.

[yebos9]

My DD isn't much older (5 months) but I noticed a major dip in her pacifer need this past month.

We started off much like you, didn't offer a pacifier until she was 5 weeks old, looking back I can't believe I lived through being a human pacifier those five weeks. Yikes! Anyway, she does need it to fall asleep, but has always spit it out once she goes into deep sleep. About a month ago, she liked it just during the day, always in the car, but this past month she's just sort of been using it less and less.

She still falls asleep with it, but she doesn't use it in the car anymore or that much during the day. It was so gradual, I didn't notice it until looking back over the past month.