keep nursing to sleep?

[petey44]

Help! we just came from my dd's 15 month ped appt. When the ped asked "so how does she do when you put her down still awake?" my dh told her the truth, which is that she gets nursed to sleep 90% of the time and rocked to sleep the other 10%. (Except at daycare, where she does just go to sleep on her own). The ped said, "do what you want, but just know that if you continue with that, it will create a sleep association that will be hard to break later."
So, appt over, my dd and I go back home, while dh continues on to work. We just spoke on the phone and he requested that we talk about the sleep issue tonight. I said sure, but you already know my feelings: this is what she needs based on where she's at developmentally, and she'll let us know when she's ready for something else. I pointed out that she's already done that: she now only nurses at most once during the night (we co-sleep), so I take that as a sign that she's reached a higher maturation level and she's doing what is developmentally appropriate.
Anyway, can anyone please offer some quick support for my position that I can bring up when we have "the talk" tonight? I really do believe that there will come a time when she's ready to just lie down in bed and fall asleep, and that she'll let us know when she's ready for that. BUt having anecdotal evidence from others who have been there would really help. Thanks!

[Maluhia]

The links at the top of the forum should help

That being said I nursed to sleep until I noticed her falling asleep without the nursing more often by accident then we tried Daddy putting her down, etc. It did end up being one of the last nursings to go - the last at night was 2nd to last and the last was 1st thing in the a.m. for us.

[MammaB21]

Sounds like you already have some great arguments for your point
Another one I usually remind people is that you don't often see 10 year olds nursing to sleep in their parents bed
It's really up to you and your child how long you will use this bed time routine, but it WILL end eventually, even if you allow your DC to be the soul decision maker here.
I won't lie to you though, and say that your doctor was completely wrong. But IMO, he is misguided. First of all, your DD is ALREADY used to this way of falling asleep. It is ingrained in a child from birth IMO. To be close, loved, huged, protected, and fed to sleep. It is instinct. Yes, this can be broken, but at what cost? Trust me when I say, if you do it now you will most likely have issues. I would assume that your DD will be upset, and probably protest the idea for a while. Which means less sleep for you and your DH. Assuming you would want to do it gently, it doesn't just happen overnight.
Maybe you could take a step in that direction for the sake of compromise. The first step for us was unlatching DD before she actually fell asleep. Than just cuddling instead. Second step was nursing only on the chair or couch and not in bed, but continuing the co-sleeping. If she woke up to nurse, it meant she would have to get out of bed, and eventually she realized she would rather keep sleeping Obviously the third step was no night nursing at all, and the final step was complete weening when she was ready. She in now 3 1/2 and sleeps on her mattress on my floor (mostly through the night, but is welcome to my bed for short times of comfort if absolutely necessary).
Do you have an idea how long you are planning on nursing? Co-sleeping? How much is your DD eating and drinking during the day? It is also very possible that she does need to nurse at night for nutritional sake. My DD wasn't eating table foods very well until over 2. She really did rely on BFing for nutrients.
One last thought. In the book The Continuum Concept, there is an excellent way of explaining the argument of co-sleeping. It's not particularely about nursing to sleep, but it might help anyway. I know it spoke loudly to me.
The author describes how if you were alone with your baby on a deserted island, you surely wouldn't put your child on one side to sleep and you on the other. You would be afraid of wild animals and other dangers to your child. Well, in our own homes, WE know it is safe. We know the doors have been locked, and everything is safe. But a small child or infant doesn't have this kind of ability to rationalize. It only FEELS. How does a baby know it is safe from preditors, or dangers unless it is in the comfort of its mothers arms.
Anyways, like I said, that analogy has more to do with cosleeping than anything else. But it has sure helped me explain some of my decisions thus far.
Sorry this has become so long winded. Good luck.

[jacie87]

I just want to offer some encouragement from my experience with my DD. I had wanted to night wean her around 18 months, but decided it wasn't worth it with all the distress she was showing about it. We only tried for about two nights and then I decided to just accept that she needs to nurse to sleep. Now she is 23 months, and out of nowhere over the last two weeks, she has gone to sleep on her own without nursing 5 or 6 times. I'm not sure what sparked the change for her, but it doesn't last forever and they do night wean on their own eventually (though it may be 4 or more years for some kids). I'm very glad that she's doing it at her own pace now instead of when we tried to force it on her and she was very obviously upset about it.