S/O Would you let your toddler DS pierce his ear(s)

[GreenGranolaMama]

Didn't quite know where to post this... I'm curious what others think, I don't have a toddler...yet, but DH and I have had this convo about a month ago.

One of our friends pierced her 4mo DDs ears and it got me thinking: if my DS wanted to pierce his ear(s) as a child, would we let him? I certinly would not take him to get it done now, but it seems like for many parents of girls, this is the norm? Would it make a difference if the DC asking for the piercing was a girl? We plan on letting him do what he likes with his clothing/hair.

DH doesn't have his ears pierced and has no tattoos/ body mods and I have gauged ears, several piercing and tattoos. That being said, I personally do not like the way ear piercing look on little boys. What do you think?

[Mirzam]

I would if he wanted to. But DS (almost 10) is a soccer player and would have to take it out for games which would be a PITB. My DH has pierced ears and wears earrings, so it isn't a stretch that DS would want his pierced, but he hasn't asked and I am certainly not going to suggest it.

[Drummer's Wife]

sure, why not? DH has his ears pierced (though he doesn't currently wear earrings) and if one of my 3 boys really wanted to have theirs done, I would let them.

I'm certainly not someone who would make my DD wait until she was 18 to pierce her ears, so I wouldn't make my DS's wait, either.

Now, as an infant? definitely not, boy or girl - b/c they clearly can't consent at that point.

ETA: I missed the word toddler in the title - so I wanted to say no, I can't see piercing my 2 yr old DS's ears b/c he has no interest, or a true understanding about what it entails as a toddler. In a couple years? Sure, if it was something he wanted.

[GardenStream]

No, but my oldest is only 3 1/2. I've never thought about it before. I suppose I would take DS to get his ears pierced when I really thought he understood what he was asking for and knew what he was getting into. Right now, I would say that would be somewhere between the ages of 10 and 12.

[bandgeek]

I wouldn't let a child of either gender pierce their ears until maybe 9 or 10 years old at least. I think they need to be able to care for them and understand that it's a responsibility. I'm indifferent to how it looks. I just don't want to be the meanie who has to hold her kid down to clean them if they get infected.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

We are going through this right now with my almost 5 year old, my husband is fit to be tied, he is completely against it.

My DS even asked Santa for earrings.

[notneb]

I wouldn't let my child, regardless of gender, get their ears pierced until they were old enough to take care of the piercings so that they did not get infected.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

No my ds will not have pierced ears as long as he is under 18. My dd can have hers pierced when she is old enough to take care of them and wants them.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by notneb

I wouldn't let my child, regardless of gender, get their ears pierced until they were old enough to take care of the piercings so that they did not get infected.

Yes and old enough to know the dangers of getting earring caught on things and the potential for ripped lobes.

I see so many little kids (girls) with the piercing holes ripped into long slits or worse, ripped all the way thru so the entire lobe is seperated.

[EviesMom]

Well, my 2 year old DS wanted a flower girl dress like his big 5 year old sister, and he started wiggling his teeth now that big sister has her first loose tooth, so I'm sure if she gets her ears pierced he would want to as well. I recently told DD that I felt she was old enough to have it done before she's a flower girl in May if she wishes. (She'll be 6 then). I think for a toddler boy or girl, I'd just say like I did when DS started wiggling his teeth: "You might do that too when you're X years old, but right now it's not for your body." For the flower girl dresses, I wouldn't have minded him trying them on, but I made sure he knew that he was going to get fitted for a tux "like Uncle C," his favorite uncle, instead, and he was thrilled with that. (But he wants a pink cumberbund, which I think he's going to get, actually!)

By 5.5 or 6, I think I could reasonably explain, and he'd probably know, that "most" boys don't have pierced ears, and also know several of our relatives and friends who do, either both ears, or more commonly one. It can always be taken out, and the holes are likely to close back up, so I'm not worried about irreversibility.

Body piercings are less irreversible, although I have just a small mark from a once-upon-a-time belly ring, so that would be probably 16-18; and tattoos are basically irreversible (never seen one removed well personally) so they're 18+.

My aunt took me to get mine pierced at age 7, and I was responsible enough to care for them properly. I think DD would as well, but we'd only do small studs, hypoallergenic, once healed just for sometimes wear, not all the time, etc. same as I did as a child. It could always go on the "personal hygiene" section of the chores chart (DD marks off what she's done for her own joy, not for money/stuff/avoidance of punishments) along with brushing teeth.

[Ruthla]

Because of the social implications of men with pierced ears (which, in spite of what we'd like the world to be, ARE different than the social implications of pierced ears on a woman), I wouldn't let my son get his ears pierced until he was old enough to understand these implications fully- probably not before age 13, possibly longer.

For a girl, I'd either do the ear piercing in infancy (before she's mobile and likely to mess with her ears and get them infected) or wait until she's at least 5 or 6 and old enough to udnerstand to keep her ears clean. Even if she can't do the ear care independently- she needs to let me do it and NOT touch her ears constantly. I would NOT trust a 1-4 year old with that.

[EviesMom]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Because of the social implications of men with pierced ears (which, in spite of what we'd like the world to be, ARE different than the social implications of pierced ears on a woman)

This varies a lot from place and community though, so while I think among men I know a good 30-40% have pierced ears, if I lived in a different place/community/culture and/or if DS was in public school, I might feel differently. Actually, at DDs last public school, the president of the PTA was a dad with the big wooden loop things in his ears, and an orange-ish mohawk... so at that school, maybe it would be no big deal either.

[TiredX2]

I would let my DS get his ears pierced. I would not let my *toddler* DS OR DD get their ears pierced. DD got hers pierced at 9 and, honestly, that is about as low as I could go because of responsibility issues. Then again, if your child has very short hair it might make them easier to care for. If DS wanted to get his ears pierced right now, at 8, I would be fine with that.

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by EviesMom

This varies a lot from place and community though, so while I think among men I know a good 30-40% have pierced ears, if I lived in a different place/community/culture and/or if DS was in public school, I might feel differently. Actually, at DDs last public school, the president of the PTA was a dad with the big wooden loop things in his ears, and an orange-ish mohawk... so at that school, maybe it would be no big deal either.

I agree, it depends. Before we moved, most definitely the majority of males in our circle had both of their ears pierced. My kids saw it as a norm.

[doubledutch]

i would save piercing for a coming-of-age thing, whether my kids were boys or girls. (they're boys.)

[Funny Face]

Originally Posted by bandgeek

I wouldn't let a child of either gender pierce their ears until maybe 9 or 10 years old at least. I think they need to be able to care for them and understand that it's a responsibility.

[Jenifer76]

If my DS was wanting the piercing and able to take care of them, I would do it. My DD is 5 and I would let her if she wanted -- which she does not.

[ShadowMoon]

I have no problem with body modifications. That being said, I would only allow my child to get one if he/she knew exactly how to care for it and what was involved. I would only have a reputable piercer or tattoo artist do it, so that may impose certain age limits.

[MammaB21]

I've posted a few things on the other piercing thread in toddlers section, so I won't go into detail here.

Gender=no issue to me what so ever. Age does. But my age limits have more to do with care, responsibility, pain threshold, etc. DP has his done, and gauged. I wouldn't see it as a big deal to have a boy ask for earrings.

[Mama2Bug]

Originally Posted by ShadowMoon

I have no problem with body modifications. That being said, I would only allow my child to get one if he/she knew exactly how to care for it and what was involved. I would only have a reputable piercer or tattoo artist do it, so that may impose certain age limits.

I am, in theory, fine with a child of either gender piercing their ears (or pretty much anything that can be removed/will close up without complications) at any age where a) the idea is solely generated by them without outside pressure and b) they are able to take care of the piercing primarily by themselves.

However, I don't know a single professional piercer that will work on a young child. Most studios won't even allow minors in the work areas. I will not allow my child to be pierced with a "gun" or by anyone in a mall, so they will have to wait until they can have the procedure done properly.