Help! DD Driving Me Crazy!

[dutchgal]

Hi, I am still nursing my 2.5 yr old DD (yay me!) at naptime and bedtime. Here's the problem: I really feel like I am done with the BFing. It's turning into a silly power struggle, and I always end up feeling terrible and frustrated after we're done BFing. She tucks in, I say it's time to switch, and she will say "Just one more suck." I let her (and she goes on for much longer than 'just one more suck') and then she has this thing where she has to kiss and hug the nipple she last fed from before she's ready to switch.

Wash, rinse repeat for the other side, except the 'one more suck' turns into 'one MORE suck' and on and on. I am DONE. So done. What to do? I would love to end the BFing relationship on a positive note, and if this were not such an issue, I would totally continue.

Please help!

[ElliesMomma]

it's often said here, that breastfeeding relationship is a two way street. both people have to be happy for it to continue.

my DD is 3.5, and tandem nursing with her 3 mo brother. i have had to set limits with her. for a long time, and still sometimes on occasion, i tell her she can nurse to the count of three. lately though it has been extended, and now i say the alphabet while she nurses, then we switch sides, i say the alphabet again, then i say done. if she insists on staying on, i might say no that's it, and even so far as to pull her off (finger in cheek, pop off) or if i'm in a generous mood i say ok but this is the last minute, do you understand? (watch for her to nod her head) and then when i say that's it, she comes off willingly.

so i guess my advice to you, if you want to continue nursing her, is to be firm in the limits you set. if you're only doing it twice a day, that's not a lot. seems like you could continue as long as *you* are in charge of how long the nursing sessions go for. when you tell her it's done for now, have a fun and interesting activity to move on to, such as reading a book before sleep, or let her choose, book first, then nursing, or nursing first, then book.

[dutchgal]

Thanks elliesmama, that's brilliant...counting down with the alphabet might make it easier for us. I agree, if I'm nursing and grinding my teeth in frustration, we're not going to last much longer. Having some fun activity after may make the transition easier as well. It's so hard when neither you or babe have anything left at the end of the day! Thanks for the suggestions, they're really going to help.

Whoever said extended nursing was only for the mom, has rocks in his/her head.

[Shanny2032]

I think that you got a wonderful and hopefully helpful reply. I love this forum

I agree that whether you just say finished or sing the alphabet whatever it is - you need to be firm in that you are done when Mommy says.

I hope you can get back to enjoying the nursing relationship and for what it is worth I thought that what your daughter does was adorable and why I am looking forward to nursing as my daughter gets older . Says me who isn't there yet of course.

[dutchgal]

Bit of an update, we now choose a song together, she loves hearing me sing it and she happily unlatches and switches now. Thank god we're still BFing, since she's got a fever today and needs her fluids....poor thing!

Thanks for the singing suggestion, it's turned things around 100%!

[3girls1boy]

Nice to hear how it's working out!

[Materfamilias]

So cute.