Strangers

[Frisha]

OK I don't know how to even really phrase this. My son who is 3 and a few months, is one of those kids that "has never met a stranger." he runs up to anyone to talk to them calls older people Maw-maw or Paw-paw, and generally speaks or will take things from anyone. I grew up extremely introverted and "seen not heard," so I am lost as to how to teach him that not all people are nice and he really doesn't need to talk to everyone. I am so afraid to do what was done to myself that I am afraid I may have been too lax already I do keep him on a safety harness, holding his hand, in the sling, or in the buggy when we are out, but these measures are reaching the end of their usefulness. TIA

[GuildJenn]

I would definitely read "Protecting the Gift" which is a great book on these things.

The thing is... your son's instincts are actually really sound. We all do interact with people every day and the skill of talking to strangers is a hugely important one - not just for every day life, but for protection.

What's much more important than not talking to strangers is learning to listen to and heed his instincts, and also to be wary of particular ways certain strangers may approach him.

Anyways, the book covers it much better than I could.

[Momily]

I didn't tell my 3 year old not to talk to strangers -- he sees me talking to strangers all the time. I told him to ask me before he talked to strangers, or at least to look back for a nod. We started really young -- for example, if we were at the check out and he looked like he was about to start interacting I'd softly call his name and then when he looked at me I'd smile brightly and nod saying "Yes, you can talk to her, I'm right here".