I left work a little early this afternoon to pick up Nakara's ashes. I thought about sending dw instead, but felt compelled to go get her remains myself. Once I started driving, I had a sense of gladness that I was going to be able to get her. As I got close to the vet, I started really feeling close with her, and I talked with her a bit.
I didn't have to say a word. Once the office folks saw me, they went and got her ashes and brought them back. Everything was in a plain white cardboard box. It was heavier than I expected, and sealed with a label. I hugged them tight to my body as I went back to the car. In the car, I was nervous but felt the need to open the box right away. The first thing I noticed was the smell of the wooden box, which was wrapped in white tissue paper. On top of that was a seed packet of forget-me-nots, and the "Rainbow Path" poem as well as her certificate of cremation.
I didn't take anything out to look at it. I left it all in the cardboard box. I closed the cardboard box and drove home, my hand on top of it the whole time. It felt like I was taking her home. It was a surprisingly good feeling.
When I got home, the kid dw was babysitting was still over, but the kids wanted to know what was in the box so I told them they were ashes (my kids knew what that meant) and that we would look after their friend was gone. They asked to peek at the box and I let them.
As soon as the other kido had been picked up, I got the box back down from the mantel where I had put it, and we took it all out. The box was screwed shut from the bottom, and the kids wanted to actually see the ashes, so we unscrewed it and took a look. The ashes looked and felt differently than I expected. White and more coarse than I thought they'd be.
We closed the box and I held it and cried and felt more at peace. I just took it all in. I didn't want to put the box away. Finally, I put it back on the mantel with the poem and forget-me-nots. We hope to put a picture of her up there soon.
I am glad to have her ashes. She belongs at home.
I didn't have to say a word. Once the office folks saw me, they went and got her ashes and brought them back. Everything was in a plain white cardboard box. It was heavier than I expected, and sealed with a label. I hugged them tight to my body as I went back to the car. In the car, I was nervous but felt the need to open the box right away. The first thing I noticed was the smell of the wooden box, which was wrapped in white tissue paper. On top of that was a seed packet of forget-me-nots, and the "Rainbow Path" poem as well as her certificate of cremation.
I didn't take anything out to look at it. I left it all in the cardboard box. I closed the cardboard box and drove home, my hand on top of it the whole time. It felt like I was taking her home. It was a surprisingly good feeling.
When I got home, the kid dw was babysitting was still over, but the kids wanted to know what was in the box so I told them they were ashes (my kids knew what that meant) and that we would look after their friend was gone. They asked to peek at the box and I let them.
As soon as the other kido had been picked up, I got the box back down from the mantel where I had put it, and we took it all out. The box was screwed shut from the bottom, and the kids wanted to actually see the ashes, so we unscrewed it and took a look. The ashes looked and felt differently than I expected. White and more coarse than I thought they'd be.
We closed the box and I held it and cried and felt more at peace. I just took it all in. I didn't want to put the box away. Finally, I put it back on the mantel with the poem and forget-me-nots. We hope to put a picture of her up there soon.
I am glad to have her ashes. She belongs at home.
