I'm on the brink

[Shy0717]

I don't know what exactly I'm looking for here maybe reassurance that I'm not going completely insane or somehow ruining my child or maybe just someone to say I'm right there with you. We had the worst night we've ever had since ds was born (he's 6 months old). It's just he and I so our sleep routine has been pretty much dictated by him which so far I've been fine with. Usually he nurses for a bit then I rock him in the rocking chair for 15 minutes or so until he's out for bedtime. He wakes up around 30-45 minutes after I put him down and I usually nurse him back to sleep then hop in bed for the night too. Tonight it was just horrible. I KNEW he was overtired. We had a long day with interrupted naps and he initially went down with no problem. 45 minutes or so later he woke up and after trying to get him back to sleep I decided to just let him get up a bit and see if he'd either snuggle with me on the couch or wear himself out somehow. This whole entire time he's whining mind you but he won't go to sleep no matter what I do. I nursed, walked, rocked, everything I can think of. Meanwhile I can feel myself getting angrier and even more frustrated by his constant whining. I finally put him down in his pack n play (which we've never used) with his mommy bear going, his blanket and paci and walked away. I gave myself 5 minutes to cool off and he screamed for 4 of those minutes. I feel horrible and like I've somehow failed him as a mom. After the 5 minutes was up I went back in with him and rocked him and told him how sorry I was and that I just don't know what to do. He went right to sleep snuggled in my arms and it tore me up. This is a baby that hardly ever gets to full blown crying or hysterics. It seems like lately I'm starting to lose my cool with the sleeping situation. We cosleep and nurse but he's been waking lately every 2-3 hours. The majority of the time he doesn't want to nurse I just lay him on my chest and he dozes back off. What am I doing wrong?? Something has to change and I don't know where to start. We cannot have another night like this. I refuse to be on the brink of losing my mind and cio every night. Maybe he needs his own sleep space? Maybe I'm missing his tired cues? I really don't know. It's just he and I so there's no passing the buck to dad while I take a break. Any advice would be greatly appreciated by both of us.

[NiteNicole]

I am so sorry. I had a poor sleeper and it was so hard. Just so so hard. I had lots and lots and lots of nights with no sleep, sleeping in 20 or 40 minute bits. Awful. It's so hard to keep it together. I wish I had some advice, but I really didn't get my daughter's sleep issues (kind of) under control till she was much, much older. Sleepless in America helped a lot.

[bobandjess99]

Some babies are just like that. I've had 2. Not to minimize your experience, but I would have KILLED for 2-3 hour stretches of sleep...mine would get up EVERY HOUR. And they never, not EVER, not at night, not during the day, EVER slept without me holding them. There was no "putting them down" to sleep.
6 months is a very common "sleep issue" time period...it might be related to learning to sit and crawl, or teething, or eating new foods (some of which might not agree with tummy!) or teh sky being blue or the air molecules being too annoying. LOL.
Swaddling sometimes helps, even with an older baby like yours. Using teething remedies might help. White noise might help. Being warmer or cooler might help. Darkening the room, or adding a nightlight, might help.

[elisheva]

Just want to throw this out there in case it might help...
Might he be looking to eat more at night lately? With my first two I found myself getting really frustrated with increased waking around 6 months and someone suggested to me that, around that age, they are much more distractable at the breast because they are SO much more aware of what's going on around them. I literally nursed 75% of the night until I realized what the problem was and made a concerted effort to nurse them more during the day.

s Be gentle with yourself. You took some space that you needed and that's ok.

[Maluhia]

It sounds like a rough night where he was overtired and things went badly. Instead of loosing you cool you walked away, and you came back and told him you were sorry he had to cry for that time. You did not let him CIO in some random attempt to "teach" him by neglect but rather you did what you had to in a moment where you felt out of control and THAT IS great parenting.

I think 2-3 hours is normal at this age, and his sleep pattern does not sound outside of normal. He's also at a common regression age - is he learning a new thing, teething, etc?

Know that as with all things, this too shall pass.

Is there someone to watch him for you a bit tomorrow so you can get a nap on your own to catch-up on rest so you don't feel so at the end of your rope?

[Shy0717]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Some babies are just like that. I've had 2. Not to minimize your experience, but I would have KILLED for 2-3 hour stretches of sleep...mine would get up EVERY HOUR. And they never, not EVER, not at night, not during the day, EVER slept without me holding them. There was no "putting them down" to sleep.
6 months is a very common "sleep issue" time period...it might be related to learning to sit and crawl, or teething, or eating new foods (some of which might not agree with tummy!) or teh sky being blue or the air molecules being too annoying. LOL.
Swaddling sometimes helps, even with an older baby like yours. Using teething remedies might help. White noise might help. Being warmer or cooler might help. Darkening the room, or adding a nightlight, might help.

DS used to be like this but around 5 ish months he got better and I was able to lay him down. He definitely sleeps longer when I sleep with him but at least he allows me to put him down and sleeps longer than 45 min to an hour. Thanks for all the recommendations. We've tried everything I think but I guess we just need time.

[Shy0717]

Originally Posted by elisheva

Just want to throw this out there in case it might help...
Might he be looking to eat more at night lately? With my first two I found myself getting really frustrated with increased waking around 6 months and someone suggested to me that, around that age, they are much more distractable at the breast because they are SO much more aware of what's going on around them. I literally nursed 75% of the night until I realized what the problem was and made a concerted effort to nurse them more during the day.

s Be gentle with yourself. You took some space that you needed and that's ok.

Thanks Elisheva for the kind words. Its usually pretty quiet and uneventful during the day with us so he nurses every 1 1/2 hr ish. At night its usually every 2-3 hrs ish. Though yesterday he did NOT nurse very much for me so that might be it. I kept trying to nurse him in the car because it was the only place that was quiet while out and about and he'd just nurse for a few minutes and get distracted. That definitely could have played a role.

[Shy0717]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

It sounds like a rough night where he was overtired and things went badly. Instead of loosing you cool you walked away, and you came back and told him you were sorry he had to cry for that time. You did not let him CIO in some random attempt to "teach" him by neglect but rather you did what you had to in a moment where you felt out of control and THAT IS great parenting.

I think 2-3 hours is normal at this age, and his sleep pattern does not sound outside of normal. He's also at a common regression age - is he learning a new thing, teething, etc?

Know that as with all things, this too shall pass.

Is there someone to watch him for you a bit tomorrow so you can get a nap on your own to catch-up on rest so you don't feel so at the end of your rope?

Oh he's learning tons. He's rolling all over the floor and one step away from crawling. He babbles and is in non-stop motion when he's awake. I guess that could all be playing a role. I just have to keep repeating that this will pass and be over before I know it. Thanks for the supportive advice

[LadyCatherine185]

I am sorry you guys had a rough night. But, those will come, especially with all of the teething and developmental milestones ahead. 2-3 hours is very very normal at that age. FWIW, we didn't get 2-3 hour stretches consinstently until about a month ago... at 15 months. So yeah, I would kill for that at 6 mos like the PP.

[dknees]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

It sounds like a rough night where he was overtired and things went badly. Instead of loosing you cool you walked away, and you came back and told him you were sorry he had to cry for that time. You did not let him CIO in some random attempt to "teach" him by neglect but rather you did what you had to in a moment where you felt out of control and THAT IS great parenting.

I think 2-3 hours is normal at this age, and his sleep pattern does not sound outside of normal. He's also at a common regression age - is he learning a new thing, teething, etc?

Know that as with all things, this too shall pass.

Is there someone to watch him for you a bit tomorrow so you can get a nap on your own to catch-up on rest so you don't feel so at the end of your rope?

I agree with this. One of my twins is still like this. Last night, he screamed, kicked and hit me when I tried to hold/soothe him to sleep, so he got put in his crib for a few minutes while I dealt with his sister. He screamed for 2 minutes and fell asleep. I felt awful that I had to do that, but he really was just overtired (my fault, I got busy trying to clean for company coming tomorrow and didn't put him to bed when I should have) and needed to have a little fit before he could get himself to sleep. It happens. It stinks, but it happens.