ok, here's the best parenting advice that i ever got: choose what you are going to do, and then do it without apology.
that doesn't mean you have to broadcast it or even talk about it. you just do what you do and you don't worry about if others are offended or upset or whatever. like pixie, we often take a diaper bag with us into the rest room when we potty our son. sometimes, he needs a change and usually he doesn't, but no one really knows what we are doing in there anyway.
and when they do know it, because they happen to see you do it. occasionally, another mother-and-child will be in the rest room and she'll ask me about it. i call it elimination communication and give the basics. most are curious. that's it. no comparisons, no judgments.
as for being a new mom and feeling like you are taking on too much, the reality is that you will discover as you go along what makes your life easier and happier and, you'll do that.
the greatest pressure you will get will be from family and close friends. it is helpful early on to remind them that you are the parent
. if they criticise, tell them that it is working well for you. no apologies, no explainations (particularly if you've already given those in the past). just "this is what we're doing, we're the parents, and we're happy with it."they will eventually shut up.
every new parent has hopes and dreams for how they will parent--and it's good to see what you want to try and begin to hang with people who do similar things if you can (these boards are great, ,and if you can find folks in real life, that will be great too), because then you can learn some tips and what not.
but if something doesn't work out for you, or it's different than you think, then that's ok. i expected to EC very differently than we are (no diapers ever), but i'm no less happy with how we do it (diaper free days, diaper days which we are now moving into trainer days). same with breastfeeding and baby wearing and a whole lot of other things in my life. the reality is different than the imagined preparations, but it's good all the same.
the main thing is that your life is good and you are all happy. that's it. that's the goal. if EC does that, then great. if it makes your life miserable, then don't do it. (a friend of mine tried, found it frustrating, went to cloth diapers. no big deal.)
no worries. you are a thoughtful and compassionate person, so you'll be a thoughtful and compassionate mama.