We're going home for a long visit to my parents tomorrow. My mom and DH will both be on vacation at the same time. I'm hoping to do some sort of sleep "training" during these next two weeks, since it's the only chance I'll have for so much overnight help. (no CIO-type stuff, obviously, and we'll wait a few days for them to settle in before trying anything)
Current set-up: I nurse to sleep or the girls are walked to sleep by DH in the carrier, then they're put down in a guest room. DH watches them for a few hours, till around midnight. They wake every 45 min to 1.5 hours at most (avg. 1 hr) and he tries to settle them (rocking, walking, shushing). If he can't without them crying (which is what usually happens), he brings them to me, I nurse them for a couple of minutes, he takes them back. Midnight to 5 or 6am, they co-sleep with me in our queen bed (one DD on each side, me in the middle). They wake even more often, sometimes as often as 20-30 minutes, nurse and go back to sleep. At 5 or 6am the nanny takes them and does what DH did for the first part of the night.
We didn't have a nanny at night until a couple of weeks ago, when I just couldn't take it anymore. Before then, I had them most of the night - 9-10 hours. The problem is that they nurse back to sleep, but they never unlatch, and I'm so tired, I fall asleep with them as they nurse - if I don't, I have no other chance to sleep. So I wake up when the other DD wakes to nurse, then I have to try to quickly unlatch the first without disturbing her. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - if it doesn't I have to sit up in bed to tandem nurse them both and then somehow get them back down.
This set up is really hard on my back (I have scoliosis and had chronic back pain long before I was even pregnant) - sleeping only while side lying nursing, squished between two babies, tossing and turning all night, hunching over them to tandem nurse when they both wake up. Not to mention the sleep is horrible.
This has been going on for two months. Before then, until the girls were 6 months old, we were with my parents, and they slept in a crib next to my bed. My parents helped me overnight, and the girls woke every 2-3 hours. When we came back here, I didn't have the overnight help, so I brought them to bed with me - I believe the more frequent wakings are a result of that.
They wake 30-45 mins. into their naps as well, at which point if I can catch them fast enough, I nurse them back down or the nanny picks them up and rocks them back to sleep. In fact, the whole reason we have a nanny is to help them sleep!! - It's impossible to put them to sleep or keep them asleep without help.
We don't have a routine at all, which I know isn't good - I have no idea how to make one because my whole day is spent putting babies to sleep and trying to keep them asleep. In between, I feed them and try to feed myself.
The constant pain and major sleep deprivation is seriously taking a toll on me, most especially in regards to my relationship with DH. Something needs to change, I'm in a really bad place right now.
Any suggestions on how I can use the next two weeks to improve the situation? I'd love for them to wake less often - when you have two babies waking hourly, and not always at the same time, you're sleeping just minutes between wakings...Ultimately though, I need to be able to take care of the nighttime on my own - DH can help till midnight, then I'm on my own.
Thanks in advance!!
Current set-up: I nurse to sleep or the girls are walked to sleep by DH in the carrier, then they're put down in a guest room. DH watches them for a few hours, till around midnight. They wake every 45 min to 1.5 hours at most (avg. 1 hr) and he tries to settle them (rocking, walking, shushing). If he can't without them crying (which is what usually happens), he brings them to me, I nurse them for a couple of minutes, he takes them back. Midnight to 5 or 6am, they co-sleep with me in our queen bed (one DD on each side, me in the middle). They wake even more often, sometimes as often as 20-30 minutes, nurse and go back to sleep. At 5 or 6am the nanny takes them and does what DH did for the first part of the night.
We didn't have a nanny at night until a couple of weeks ago, when I just couldn't take it anymore. Before then, I had them most of the night - 9-10 hours. The problem is that they nurse back to sleep, but they never unlatch, and I'm so tired, I fall asleep with them as they nurse - if I don't, I have no other chance to sleep. So I wake up when the other DD wakes to nurse, then I have to try to quickly unlatch the first without disturbing her. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't - if it doesn't I have to sit up in bed to tandem nurse them both and then somehow get them back down.
This set up is really hard on my back (I have scoliosis and had chronic back pain long before I was even pregnant) - sleeping only while side lying nursing, squished between two babies, tossing and turning all night, hunching over them to tandem nurse when they both wake up. Not to mention the sleep is horrible.
This has been going on for two months. Before then, until the girls were 6 months old, we were with my parents, and they slept in a crib next to my bed. My parents helped me overnight, and the girls woke every 2-3 hours. When we came back here, I didn't have the overnight help, so I brought them to bed with me - I believe the more frequent wakings are a result of that.
They wake 30-45 mins. into their naps as well, at which point if I can catch them fast enough, I nurse them back down or the nanny picks them up and rocks them back to sleep. In fact, the whole reason we have a nanny is to help them sleep!! - It's impossible to put them to sleep or keep them asleep without help.
We don't have a routine at all, which I know isn't good - I have no idea how to make one because my whole day is spent putting babies to sleep and trying to keep them asleep. In between, I feed them and try to feed myself.
The constant pain and major sleep deprivation is seriously taking a toll on me, most especially in regards to my relationship with DH. Something needs to change, I'm in a really bad place right now.
Any suggestions on how I can use the next two weeks to improve the situation? I'd love for them to wake less often - when you have two babies waking hourly, and not always at the same time, you're sleeping just minutes between wakings...Ultimately though, I need to be able to take care of the nighttime on my own - DH can help till midnight, then I'm on my own.
Thanks in advance!!
s
) and let your little ones be where they are.
