I just can't do this anymore- UPDATE!! #44 - Page 3

[pangirl]

I do not have advice, but am another person saying "I could have written this post!"

My dd is 5.5 mos old, and has not slept more than 2 hours at night since birth. The two hour stretches are the good nights. Very often we have nights where she'll sleep 45 mins at a time. Her naps are usually 30-45 mins.

I cry a lot, I feel depressed, my relationship with my husband, which was amazing before DD, is strained. It makes me sad that though DD has brought so much love into our lives, I dont enjoy it as much as I feel I should because of how the lack of sleep makes me feel.

I am so envious of mamas who get 2 hour naps to have alone time or get stuff done, or who only wake 1-2 a night. I feel like they must parent better because sleep deprivation has such an emotional and mental toll on me. I am not myself feeling so angry or sad. My dd and my husband deserve the best, I am so lucky to have them, but the tired is ruining me.

But I'm glad to know I am not alone. Sometimes I feel like I am just doing everything wrong because she won't sleep.

[penstamon]

Beauchamp and pangirl- I am so sorry that you are going through this too, I would never wish this on any mama. I totally understand feeling depressed and having my marriage feel strained. The holidays brought out the worst in us this year but it is time to move on.

On a good note- in the depths of despair DH and I had some excellent arguments and discussions that brought us to make some changes, whether or not they will hold. I think this in itself has played a role in helping DS sleep a little better.

1. I have committed myself to getting exercise everyday no matter how tired or busy or miserable I feel
2. DH and I switch off sleeping separately at night if no one is sleeping
3.DH takes DS for 45 minutes in the morning while I sleep and he gets ready for work

Otherwise I can't say what is helping or if its a little of everything (see my last post), but DS has had 3 decent nights in a row. He is sleeping roughly a 3 hour stretch in the beginning of the night and then waking every 2 hours until around 4am, then its every 30- 45 minutes. Its amazing that this is "good", but I'll take what I can get.

Some of you have suggested not sticking to a certain bedtime/naptimes and I think you may have something there. I don't think it works for us to expect DS be very structured (we certainly are not) and the last 3 "good" nights have had fluctuated bedtimes with varied activities and thus varied naps.

I hope I haven't jinxed myself!

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by penstamon

Beauchamp and pangirl- I am so sorry that you are going through this too, I would never wish this on any mama. I totally understand feeling depressed and having my marriage feel strained. The holidays brought out the worst in us this year but it is time to move on.

On a good note- in the depths of despair DH and I had some excellent arguments and discussions that brought us to make some changes, whether or not they will hold. I think this in itself has played a role in helping DS sleep a little better.

1. I have committed myself to getting exercise everyday no matter how tired or busy or miserable I feel
2. DH and I switch off sleeping separately at night if no one is sleeping
3.DH takes DS for 45 minutes in the morning while I sleep and he gets ready for work

Otherwise I can't say what is helping or if its a little of everything (see my last post), but DS has had 3 decent nights in a row. He is sleeping roughly a 3 hour stretch in the beginning of the night and then waking every 2 hours until around 4am, then its every 30- 45 minutes. Its amazing that this is "good", but I'll take what I can get.

Some of you have suggested not sticking to a certain bedtime/naptimes and I think you may have something there. I don't think it works for us to expect DS be very structured (we certainly are not) and the last 3 "good" nights have had fluctuated bedtimes with varied activities and thus varied naps.

I hope I haven't jinxed myself!

[penstamon]

I wanted to share an update in our ongoing sleep saga with everyone. We just saw a CST for the first time- we had to wait a month to get in- and I am shocked and a little miffed at what she was telling us. Basically DS has torticollis (head tilt) that our ped did not see or acknowledge until recently and told us it was mild and would not cause problems. Well we were seeing the ped for silent reflux but as western medicine dictates all things in the human body are to be treated separately, she saw no connection (we had asked).

The CST thinks the torticollis has gotten worse, classified as moderate now, and is actually pulling DS's body to twist in a minor way to the eye, but major enough to put pressure on the pyloric sphincter of the stomach and cause reflux. This in turn is most likely the major culprit of his poor sleep habits. DS loved her and withstood 1.5 hours of therapy (WOW!!!) Upon leaving he fell asleep in his carseat with his head facing the direction that he has always hated and would not let us position him in. He has currently been napping for over an hour and seems so peaceful and happy

I can't say how this will help in the long run but I am very hopeful after one visit. We have to continue therapy once a week for the next month or more so the CST warned us not to get discouraged too easily.

[moongloe]

your update made my day - i'm so happy to hear you found a light at the end of your tunnel. keep us posted, please.

~peace.

[cristeen]

mama.

While I don't have a screamer on a normal day, he does have his days (and he screamed the first few weeks until we figured out some things)... and a few things that have helped me with the sleep dep...

I picked up a stroller on consignment about a month ago. In the laid down position it has him at roughly a 30-45 degree angle. We actually stopped cosleeping when I got it because he sleeps so much better in that stroller than flat on the bed. Bonus is that I can rock it back and forth if he seems restless, or if he's crying and won't let me console him.

Before we got the stroller we got a bouncy chair (also from consignment) with a vibrating seat, and there were days he would fall asleep in that also. It never looked like the most comfortable position, but I never disturb a sleeping baby if I can help it.

And the one that my DH gives me a hard time for. If we go somewhere and he falls asleep in the car seat - assuming I don't need to be anywhere, I just pull into the driveway, lay the drivers seat back and nap right there in the driveway. It may mean I wake up with a sore neck, but if I get 20 minutes of sleep, that's 20 more than I would have gotten by trying to take him inside.

But I completely agree about sleeping apart. It sucks, but my DH and I have shared a bed once, maybe twice, in the last 4 months. He's able to get more sleep that way and I'm able to deal with the baby without worrying about every little sound or movement waking him.

[rzberrymom]

Oh mama, that's so great that they were able to help him!!!

[sahmmie]

Just wanted to share my "no sleep for months on end" story. My dd was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks of age!!! Yes, two weeks. I'm talking 8-10 hours. I was in heaven and thought I had it made. Then suddenly at around 2 months she began waking frequently at night. I though it was a growth spurt but feeding her didn't calm her. The nights got worse and worse to the point that by the time she was 10 weeks old she was literally waking every 20 - 60 minutes, all night long, every single night. I was at a loss as to what the problem was. She didn't want to eat. She'd take a pacifier, go back to sleep, but be up screaming 20 minutes later. Finally I called the doctor and she suggested it might be silent reflux (meaning the baby has acid reflux, but does not spit up or throw up). We started her on medication (Zantac) and things improved for a while, but I later learned that Zantac only works for a short time for most babies. I didn't know that then so when she started waking every 20 - 60 minutes I assumed reflux wasn't the cause, but it actually was, the medicine just wasn't working anymore.

To make a long story short, she outgrew her silent reflux at 8 months of age and began sleeping 10 - 12 hours at night. I went on to have another baby with reflux and got him on a better medication (Prevacid) so his sleep problems were minimal.

I don't know if your baby has reflux but it's definitely worth looking into.

[To-Fu]

That is great news! I hope his sleep continues to improve. Do keep us updated if you think of it.