Tips for Managing the Chaos

[slvsquared]

Dh's hours have been dramatically cut, which means that I'll be stepping up my freelance work to make ends meet for at least the next two months - from part time to nearly full time.

In the past, he had unmanaged, unmedicated ADHD and sleep apnea, and I've literally done all the household stuff for a few years now, on top of working part time. However, he's on meds and a CPAP and functioning much better. There are some old patterns that need to be altered, though, to make things run more smoothly around here with me working more.

We're working together to try to come up with ideas for managing the day to day chaos - we have two wee ones, plus we keep a 2 year old Friday - Monday for about 7 hours a day. He's not much extra work, just sort of plays with our kids and eats when we eat.

What are your tips for juggling full time work and housework, especially when you're working overtime, on a deadline, or in a time crunch? I was thinking about switching to quick, easy to prepare meals, maybe use paper plates some of the time, but I have no idea what to do other than that. The kids and I are here all the time, so no daycare routine or anything like that. More meal prep, laundry management, containing the toys type stuff, I guess. We totally can't afford a housekeeper - we're barely affording the necessities right now.

TIA!!

[siobhang]

some tips:

cook in advance, have lots of quick meals available, and be open about the definition of meals - dinner around here is sometimes porridge, eggs, or even cheese and crackers!

try to use your breaks wisely - I do laundry during my work breaks, use my slow cooker in the am, take 10 minute cleaning breaks. Fly lady has some good tips.

Focus on the important stuff - figure out the baseline for cleaning, household tasks, etc, and prioritize those. You don't need to vacuum every day in every room, but a dust buster can help get the crumbs that drive you nuts.

Divide the chores. One way to do it with your DP is to sit down and first create the chore list/schedule together, and THEN divide who does what. It is more likely he will volunteer for more if the division of labor is visible and obvious. Oh and include kid duties too (dr appts, etc). And if DP's hours got cut back, I am assuming he will be stepping up with more childcare, right?

Good luck!!

[slvsquared]

Thanks for the response I guess I'm trying to figure out where that baseline is, so that I can sort of prepare in advance. I'm thinking I'll pick up a few quick emergency type dinners, lay out outfits for the week ahead of time, that sort of thing. I'm also researching crockpot recipes that are relatively healthy (not the easiest thing to find)

[namaste_mom]

Baseline for me is to keep the house clean enough so we don't get invaded by ants. Once they come inside, time to clean. We clean a lot together on the weekends. Laundry is usually washed but not folded until the weekends. Meals -- I usually spend 30 minutes making dinner when I get home with my 13 month old in a high chair. DH is a WAHD so he is able to do things here and there. Some chores he can do -- clean bathrooms, laundry; some I do -- dishes, clean kitches. If something needs to be done we talk over the phone to communciate. Communication is big when you are so busy. Sometimes I don't get to talk to DH but 10 minutes a night so I send him emails and call during the day when I remember that we need something or just need to connect with him during the day.

[slvsquared]

Ooh, I like the email idea. That would be a good way to communicate clearly - seems like one of us is always rushing from one thing to another juggling a babe.

[Ola_]

Originally Posted by slvsquared

I'm also researching crockpot recipes that are relatively healthy (not the easiest thing to find)

I'm not sure what kind of recipes you're looking for, but here is one website with lots to choose from (they seem pretty decent to me):
http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

I noticed it has categories down the side so that may make it easier to find meal ideas depending on what you want to make. I also did a search for "healthy crock pot recipes" in Google and got lots of results, but you'd have to take some time to parse through it to see what suits you. Good luck mama!

[dawningmama]

What works for us:

~meal plan
~cook in advance, double batch cooking. Spend a day off cooking up rice, pasta, breads/pancakes, meats for the week and then you only have to heat up and make veggies for your meal (precutting veggies is a great idea too)
~daily lists. I am just getting back into this. This list is awesome and what I'm basing our lists on. They are the minimums of what absolutely must get done so that we are not living in filth. lol
~Laundry Every Day. Every Single Day. Skip a day and feel the wrath of the laundry monster.
~combine chores with music and family members and it becomes a dance party---that's family together time, exercise AND housework.

[gbutterflykissesm]

The thing that made the biggest difference to me was planning out and cooking my meals in advance on Sundays. And I mean cooking EVERYTHING. If I wanted burgers on Tuesday, I would grill them on sunday and assemble them in tupperwares with all the pickles, tomatoes, condiments, whatever, so that it was literally just a heat and eat style meal, like a tv dinner. If you want to make a meal in the crockpot, cut and assemble all of your ingredients on your day off so you can literally just dump it in and press the power switch.

Doing this and writing down the menu in advance made a world of difference to me. Even some quick meals like pasta take 20 minutes to assemble, cook, and clean up. Doing this made every meal take just 5 mins or less to prepare, and gave me extra time to do other chores and housework.

[slvsquared]

DawningMama - I'm loving that list!

I think I need to get back to using my crockpot again - I've been neglecting it, and our budget shows it

[trekkingirl]

my DH and I both take turns working and being home with the kids. we switch off. he has the am home shift. on a good day he does about an hour of lessons w our six year old while entertaining the three year old. usually cereal for breakfast and something from the freezer for lunch. he is good about throwing clothes in the machine so they are ready for me to fold and put away when I get home. no dishwasher so we usually each do a sink full per day. I get home from work at noon and my six year old gets two more hours of lessons/outdoor play. i wrap up the afternoon with dinner around 5:30. then it's usually bath and bed by 7:00 for the kids. this way I have two hours to finish what needs to be tidy and catch up on emails and MDC. when I put it in writing our day sounds extremely structured. it's kind of funny because doing this for the last five years we have learned to throw all planing out the window. somewhere along the path of parenthood we realized that all planning does is set you up for dissapointment when your plans fall through. I have also learned not to sweat the small stuff. if neither of us got to the dishes that day then there is always tomorrow. if the laundry gets piled up that's ok if everyone still has clothes to wear. the nice part about not following a plan is flexibility. that way I don't get angry when everything is turned upside down.

[Jend1002]

Like many PP, preparing food in advance is key! We also buy a few freezer meals to keep on hand in case things don't go as planned. DH and I barely see each other during the day and both work outside of the home so we have been using Google calendar with great success. We put everything on our shared calendar.

Keeping the house neat is a major challenge, but I make it a point to do a quick straighten, no matter how tired I am, before going to bed. I used to be opposed to using disposable things, but now I have a tub of cleaning wipes in every room. I have the anti-bac kinds and the widow cleaner kinds. Just wiping down the bathroom counter and mirror makes me feel like things are at least a little clean!