Separation theory

[eepster]

I'd been noticing something, and in a recent thread I see Tutucrazy had been seeing the same thing.

So, I'm starting this survey to see if it has statistical relevance, or is just a coincidence.

Did you DS son have pain during separation? Was he ever forcibly retracted prior to separation?

I'll make it so you can answer multiple times if you have more than one boy.

[Anastasiya]

First son hasn't retracted yet.
Second son is retractible, had what I'd call bad pain esp during urination and erections, and was never retracted by anyone.

HOWEVER - he also has his hand down there OFTEN, esp while falling asleep and during the somewhat waking periods throughout the night, so he may have really bothered his own self while sleeping.

[erin23kate]

Not a son, but a husband. I asked. He retracted it himself at about 10.

[bandgeek]

First, how are you defining separation? Total retraction? Or separation, but not necessarily retraction? DS isn't retractable that I know of, but when he pees, he balloons entirely around his whole penis. I don't think any part of his foreskin is attached anymore.

I didn't vote because I guess I'm not 100% sure. But if he HAS completed the separation process, then he did so pain-free and no, he was never forcibly retracted.

[tutucrazy]

I suspect that painful separation in young boys is due to manipulation/forcible retraction by a care provider.

My son was not forcibly retracted but a doctor did try to pull it back when he was 4 months old. After this happened I noticed the tip begin to separate prematurely and I could see this when he urinated since we do EC. Then at 10 months the pressure from the urine just knocked the entire foreskin loose. Since it happened all at once it was extremely painful for about 4-5 days. Thankfully at that point we had a foreskin-wise doctor that knew what was happening.

[MyBoysBlue]

My older son became retractable with no pain. My younger son is not retractable but seems to be separated because of balloning he has now and the few days of swelling and discharge he had a few months back. So I marked minor pain for him. But neither boys was ever even manipulated by a doctor let alone retracted in any way by anyone. I don't think painful separation is only caused by manipulation/forcible retraction by a care provider. It can happen in it's absence.

[broodymama]

DS (now 5) has had some minor pain or irritation from the separation process, which isn't yet complete. He did once (somehow!) accidentally retract his own foreskin about a year or two ago while peeing, I'm not entirely sure how. I wasn't in the bathroom, I just heard him yelling and went in and he showed me. A doctor has never tried to retract him, I made sure the docs kept their hands off.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Other, my son is only 10 months old, never been retracted by anyone, and shows no signs of starting the separation process.

[PlayaMama]

my ds had extreme pain each time he urinated to the point where i took him to the er because i didn't know what was happening. they diagnosed an infection and tried to retract but were unable to.

i think what happened with my ds was that the opening of the foreskin was very small and so as it started to separate the force of the urine forced it to separate faster than it would have if the urine was able to escape easier.

to one ever tried to retract him before that though and he's never actually retracted at all.

[Mama Mko]

My oldest son had a lot of pain when he intially started separating. He is not totally retractable yet as far as I know (I haven't tried, of course.) He balloons a lot when he pees. He is 4 1/2.

He was never retracted.

[2xy]

I voted #1 and #2. But I want to add that I can't guarantee that they never had any discomfort. If they did, they never said anything. The only pain either kid has ever had in that area (that I'm aware of) was when DS1 had a UTI when he was 4yo.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I will come back and answer this when ds is older he is 5 now and only slightly retractable the last I saw so I cant say if he will have pain or not. He had 2 separate times when a Dr tried to retract him but I managed to stop them before more than the tip of his penis was exposed.

[tpintsch]

No pain and no forced or tried retractions either. One day while my son was peeing he said, "Mommy Mommy come look my penis skin is rolled back" and sure enough it was. This was around 5 for him.

[l_olive]

Originally Posted by Mama Mko

My oldest son had a lot of pain when he intially started separating. He is not totally retractable yet as far as I know (I haven't tried, of course.) He balloons a lot when he pees. He is 4 1/2.

He was never retracted.

This is exactly the case with my son except that he's almost 7.

[greenmansions]

My ds started retracting at age 4 and had minor pain and as far as I know he was not retracted by anyone. Though DH (who is intact himself) kept saying we needed to pull the skin back and wash it when it hurt. OMG. Guess he doesn't remember that far back.

I told DH to leave it alone, and I think he listened to me, but I am not 100% sure. I emphasized that DS should pull it at his own pace, and certainly DS did plenty of fiddling with it and ballooning it in the bathtub and the like.

[Seie]

I am european and I had never ever heard about separation pain or problems before coming to this board. I have never heard it mentioned or talked about. And mostly every male I know is intact children and adults alike. I have two sons none of them have separated yet so no "personal" experience. I just - think its weird the kind of attention penises get overseas. Likely here red penises just pass as diaper rash and noone gives it a second thought unless it is really serious looking.

[Storm Bride]

I voted "no pain" and no attempts at retraction. I have more than one boy, but it applies to both, as far as I know. (DS2 is fully retractable at 4, but ds1 wasn't at 8, when he began to be uncomfortable running around naked. I don't know if he is now, and don't know if he had any separation discomfort - if so, he never mentioned it to me, so it was very minor.)

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by greenmansions

My ds started retracting at age 4 and had minor pain and as far as I know he was not retracted by anyone. Though DH (who is intact himself) kept saying we needed to pull the skin back and wash it when it hurt. OMG. Guess he doesn't remember that far back.

Or, that's what was done with him. My mom, who left my brother intact, was surprised when I told her that it's supposed to be left alone. She didn't circ, but she did get bad information.

[proudmomof4]

Seie's post pretty much says it for me, too (I'm German) - my 3 sons are all intact (well, duh...) and I'm not aware of any discomfort because of separation.
My now 9y-old has a very narrow foreskin opening (phimosis even according to European standards) but he can pee normally so we'll leave him alone for now. If at some point (puberty) his condition should be painful we can still think about what could be done.

[joanq]

I answered option "minor pain, no one has ever tried to retract" for my 4 1/2 year old. He has episodes of redness and irritation that will last 2-3 days and clear up on it's own, has had since he was just over 3. He is not fully retractible at this point, but when he pees you can see the opening enlarge and he pulls the foreskin quite a bit AWAY from his body, so it isn't really attached much any more.

BUT, some of the episodes of irritation seem to be from the swimming pool, since we stopped swimming class he hasn't had any episodes of irritation and it has been about 8 months.