Kids Who Pick Up After Themselves... - Page 2

[jen&james]

We use this program in our house. http://www.accountablekids.com/
It helps DS to know what's next and also to feel like he is contributing and helping me. There are rewards with this program but you can tweak it to your family and just use the cards for refrence. The rewards we use are special time with Mom or dad eventhough he gets that anyway. My son really loves to follow the cards and I usually don't have to remind him to check the board. He is 4 1/2 right now and we have been using this since he was 4. It is a really nice program and very flexible to fit any family. I plan on putting one up for DS2 when he is old enough.

[nina_yyc]

Actually I think a chore chart is a GREAT idea. I am trying to get routines set up right now since I am getting into the groove of SAH. If I can get some visuals up for things we have to do throughout the day (incl meals and stuff as well as chores) then DD can help me stick to a good routine. I tend to be a slacker and there's nothing like a 3yo to keep you accountable once she knows what's supposed to happen.

I think there's some middle ground between happily doing it yourself and punish/bribing...I know my DD needs more direction than just my example. I remind and sugget cleanups before we start the next thing. What is tough is trying to stay on top of things...in the time it takes to nurse a baby, DD can wreak havoc. It takes FOREVER to help a 3yo through cleaning up everthing so sometimes if feels like that is what we spend half the day doing. She is definitely not naturally neat.

I'm not sure how much my attitude towards chores affects her. I am pretty indifferent to most of the chores...I like the results more than the process...she hates tidying but she loves 'cleaning' cleaning because you get to play with all the cool spray bottles. She also loves cooking with me and laundry, especially folding the baby clothes.

[cappuccinosmom]

Does anyone have them, and what is your miraculous secret?

Start 'em young. Since the time my first-born could toddle, I played the "pick up" game with him. *Every* time something got dumped, we picked it up together before we did anything else. I pick up after myself, dh picks up after himself, picking up after oneself is expected in our family, and they don't know any differently.

That's not to say that any of us do it perfectly (or obsessively ). There are times when they need to be reminded (my 4 yo needs eye-contact and sometimes being physically turned in the direction of the mess before he "sees" it and connects the mess with my instruction to pick it up), there are times when I need to work with them, and other times when a very small mess plus a recalcitrant child requires an end of all fun stuff until his things are put away. But making it routine and habitual from the get-go has been a huge help with this.

[cappuccinosmom]

I did think the "no chores" link was interesting. We don't have a set chore list. I'm not sure it's going to work for our family. But my kids love to help clean (real cleaning). Sometimes it is easier to brush them off and get it done myself, but I'm working on that.

OTOH, I don't think I want to go down the road of never asking them to help or never giving them a specific task.

[Barefoot~Baker]

They've got me stumped

We'll start cleaning up, or I will say "clean-up time" and (usually my 4yo) will whine "I'm tired". I've tried sending her to her room, but she willingly goes and sits on her bed doing nothing just to get out of it!

[earthmama4]

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher

I have to say I WISH i believed in that method, but I don't. Mainly because when I was a kid, I had no chores. My mom occasionally asked me to clean my room, but i usually didn't and there were not really any consequences (other than my room staying messy). And, because of this lack of having to do chores, I feel that it has taken me a really long time to get the hang of having my own house! I had never done laundry even once before college!

Me too. My mom kept our house spotless and never complained that I remember. We'd sometimes help do a big cleaning day with the Beatles playing, and that was fun. But I still hate to clean and my sister, who grew up in the same house is very good at it. I think a good attitude combined with the right temperament in a child is the key. And the latter you can't control unfortunately.

Originally Posted by Mrs. Turner

We'll start cleaning up, or I will say "clean-up time" and (usually my 4yo) will whine "I'm tired". I've tried sending her to her room, but she willingly goes and sits on her bed doing nothing just to get out of it!

She might just be telling you she's overwhelmed and doesn't know where to begin. In that case, break it down into steps and help her. But if its a simple task with clear directions and she still refuses, I'd use a playful approach and agree with her, saying, "Wow, you are right, you do look tired! Maybe you need a nap?" or "You're right, these toys seem to make you too tired, maybe we should but them away until your a little older and your muscles are big enough to play AND clean up." My kids usually respond pretty quick when I play along like that. It gets my point across and its more fun than getting all irate and in a power struggle! And I have been known to put away troublesome toys that aren't getting picked up or are causing fights. Toys are very obedient when you tell them to go to time-out.