this has taken me a long type to write out, but i have finally gotten my head clear enough and the time to sit down and get it all out.
it all started around 3AM 'nov. 8th 2009'. i was awoken by horrible pain in my back, hips, and pubic bone/vagina. i thought it was regular cramping like i had been having off and on that entire month, so i used the restroom, got something to drink, whereas the cramping seemed to dwindle away by then. i went back to bed and i was down for no more than 5 minutes before i sprung back out. i had not experienced pain quite like this but didn't think anything of it. i proceeded to go take a shower at this point. it helped sooth me and i felt better so i tried to lay back down afterward but it wasn't happening. - mid-day i could not find any comfortable positioning with off and on sporadic cramping unless it was the dining room chair, toilet, or shower. i had probably taken a good 25+ hot showers to sooth me. eventually it got worse and they were not helping. i began timing them but they were very sporadic; going from 5 minutes to 20 minutes to 15 minutes, some lasting anywhere from 20/25 seconds to 3 minutes and anywhere in between. it felt like i needed to pee constantly... and despite how obvious all of this should of been it just wasn't registering to me! i did not in all honesty think it was real labor. i was sort of hoping though, since that next day they were going to discuss induction.
at about 7/8PM i had my hubby take me to the hospital. i had been pacing back and forth throughout the house for a couple hours and couldn't take it anymore. i tried my best to sidetrack myself but once the contractions hit i couldn't handle them. - we got in the car, and i was surprised that sitting down didn't provoke another contraction, since sitting anywhere but the 2 places i stated above caused me total discomfort. the whole car hide i only had a few more contractions, it felt lovely that i was getting some relief. - we get to the hospital and they take forever to get everything situated and get me to a room. they evaluated me, checked my cervix, and said i was, if i remember right, a 6 or 7 with a bulging bag. i felt my contractions coming on much more frequently after being there for half an hour, they said at that point my contractions were coming at 5 minutes apart. they asked me what my pain level was, 1-10, 10 being my arm ripped off and it could not be 10. i said about a 6 or 7, now that i think about it, it was probably more like a straight 8. they then asked if i wanted an epidural. the whole time i was telling myself i was going to do without it but i caved and requested it.
25 minutes or later they finally took me to a birthing room. i sat there for another 15 minutes before they got me ready for the epidural where i was then in excruciating pain, and they had counted my contractions then coming at about 3 minutes apart. it took a long while before i could feel the contractions dying out. my main focus point was the bright ceiling light... no idea how i was baring to stare at that for so long. one of the nurses had talked to me about pitocin too, but i totally denied it, then ignored her thereafter, i was not being nice about it all.
suddenly out of the blue all these nurses come rushing in, there is panic. they wheel me off for an emergency c-section. i was panicked because of their panic, i was scared to death. i was shaking vigorously not knowing what was happening until i was actually in the other room. they began doping me up horribly, and pricking me asking if i could still feel the pain. i said yes numerous times, but i think they thought i was lying because they continued to dope me up and then get frustrated when i said i could still feel the pricks. they asked if i was just feeling the pressure of the prick or really pain, i continued to reply that i /was indeed/ still feeling the pain from it not just pressure. they asked me to lift my legs. i did and it did not take THAT much effort, i think they believed me then. - they monitored my babies heartbeat for a long time. i began crying in fear i can not lie, i have never been so scared in my life. adrenaline was pulsing through me, i could not stop shaking no matter how hard i tried and no matter how much they told me to calm down. i felt an unbelievable pressure in my chest, i thought i was going to pass out from breathing so hard, i was exhausting myself. nonetheless i did not not pass out, i turned, and my husband was there! finally! he held my hand and spoke to me calmly telling me everything was okay. i remember smiling at him and feeling a bit more guaranteed with the situation.
i guess my babies heartbeat had went back to normal after a long while because they wheeled me back to the birthing room. 10 minutes later i was feeling every single contraction, they hit harshly, i was screaming. - once again they did not believe me when i said i was feeling them. another nurse came in and i was balling like mad, she looked to all the others, "she is still feeling them?", and i was the first to shout "YES". she gave me something to sooth them, but it did not work(later i found out it was morphine).
my babies heartbeat plummeted once again. the nurse said if it did it one more time i would be rushed to surgery AGAIN. his heartbeat DID do it again, i began breathing heavily and fast. i realized at this point that i myself was not pulling in enough oxygen, i was so exhausted, and i was not bringing him enough air. i have no idea if it ACTUALLY helped or not, but i continued to do this, his heart staying great at that point. the nurse had called for them to come get me, and i knew this. the second they walked in i shouted "NO NO NO NO NO", they tried to explain to me that i needed this, and i told them just 5 more minutes to see what happens. they sort of sighed at me and told me that it'd be my fault for my babies death if i did not do this, but i protested, and did not let them near me.
(going back to the first time i was rushed for c-section, one of the trainee girls forged my signature for it, by the way, which i am STILL not happy about, i want to light her on fire).
so the lady worked with me on it and actually gave me 10 minutes to see how this would progress. i continued to breath how i was despite the main nurse telling me to calm my breathing. i was checked at this point and the baby was descending into birth canal. i could feel every second of labor. she told me it was time to begin pushing. i got all setup and they told me to push, i said no not until the next contraction. they told me i WAS having a contraction, and they were right i was, but it was about to pass and i wanted to start with a fresh contraction. next one comes up and i push, they all sort of stare at each other in awe, one saying, "oh, she can feel them". .... ya.
so i am pushing away, screaming my head off, bloody murder-style. they tell me he is about out, but no he was not, because i hadn't been pushing that long(from the time i started pushing to the time he was out was a good 2 hours). i start screaming for the c-section now(haha...), but ya it was too late. my husband just says, "this is what you wanted, to feel it all remember?". not the greatest thing to tell me, i was very mad at him from that point forward. the trainee girl across the room(the one that forged my signature), asked me the MOST asinine question i have ever heard. i can not remember it now but i recall rolling my eyes and pretty sure i said some foul things. - i requested the lights be turned off. they are turned off and then i scream for them to be turned back on, very upset that the quick environmental change had changed the way i felt. everyone laughed at me too
my husband told me that the nurses were discussing the use of forceps(after birth though). it was sort of cute i guess, because he got in front of me while they did this, helped me hold my legs and said "PUUUUSH"... but i was still mad at him. it sort of changed when he told me to prove them wrong, that i could do this myself(he did not mention forceps to me but i think he was trying to help me feel more motivated). so i did. i was so ready for the baby to be out at that point, i pushed, i shoved, i screamed, i cried, i grunted, moaned, you name it, and after 2 hours of all the chaos little Kaine was out.
5lbs 15oz, born on nov. 9th 2009 at 5:36AM.
i realize he was not large, but all the same it hurt me.
i am pretty sure i have forgotten a lot of detail and this may be jumpy despite my time to sit down and write this out, but this is much more elaborate than my first birth announcement made here(for my DDC).
i am so happy he is here though!
it all started around 3AM 'nov. 8th 2009'. i was awoken by horrible pain in my back, hips, and pubic bone/vagina. i thought it was regular cramping like i had been having off and on that entire month, so i used the restroom, got something to drink, whereas the cramping seemed to dwindle away by then. i went back to bed and i was down for no more than 5 minutes before i sprung back out. i had not experienced pain quite like this but didn't think anything of it. i proceeded to go take a shower at this point. it helped sooth me and i felt better so i tried to lay back down afterward but it wasn't happening. - mid-day i could not find any comfortable positioning with off and on sporadic cramping unless it was the dining room chair, toilet, or shower. i had probably taken a good 25+ hot showers to sooth me. eventually it got worse and they were not helping. i began timing them but they were very sporadic; going from 5 minutes to 20 minutes to 15 minutes, some lasting anywhere from 20/25 seconds to 3 minutes and anywhere in between. it felt like i needed to pee constantly... and despite how obvious all of this should of been it just wasn't registering to me! i did not in all honesty think it was real labor. i was sort of hoping though, since that next day they were going to discuss induction.
at about 7/8PM i had my hubby take me to the hospital. i had been pacing back and forth throughout the house for a couple hours and couldn't take it anymore. i tried my best to sidetrack myself but once the contractions hit i couldn't handle them. - we got in the car, and i was surprised that sitting down didn't provoke another contraction, since sitting anywhere but the 2 places i stated above caused me total discomfort. the whole car hide i only had a few more contractions, it felt lovely that i was getting some relief. - we get to the hospital and they take forever to get everything situated and get me to a room. they evaluated me, checked my cervix, and said i was, if i remember right, a 6 or 7 with a bulging bag. i felt my contractions coming on much more frequently after being there for half an hour, they said at that point my contractions were coming at 5 minutes apart. they asked me what my pain level was, 1-10, 10 being my arm ripped off and it could not be 10. i said about a 6 or 7, now that i think about it, it was probably more like a straight 8. they then asked if i wanted an epidural. the whole time i was telling myself i was going to do without it but i caved and requested it.
25 minutes or later they finally took me to a birthing room. i sat there for another 15 minutes before they got me ready for the epidural where i was then in excruciating pain, and they had counted my contractions then coming at about 3 minutes apart. it took a long while before i could feel the contractions dying out. my main focus point was the bright ceiling light... no idea how i was baring to stare at that for so long. one of the nurses had talked to me about pitocin too, but i totally denied it, then ignored her thereafter, i was not being nice about it all.
suddenly out of the blue all these nurses come rushing in, there is panic. they wheel me off for an emergency c-section. i was panicked because of their panic, i was scared to death. i was shaking vigorously not knowing what was happening until i was actually in the other room. they began doping me up horribly, and pricking me asking if i could still feel the pain. i said yes numerous times, but i think they thought i was lying because they continued to dope me up and then get frustrated when i said i could still feel the pricks. they asked if i was just feeling the pressure of the prick or really pain, i continued to reply that i /was indeed/ still feeling the pain from it not just pressure. they asked me to lift my legs. i did and it did not take THAT much effort, i think they believed me then. - they monitored my babies heartbeat for a long time. i began crying in fear i can not lie, i have never been so scared in my life. adrenaline was pulsing through me, i could not stop shaking no matter how hard i tried and no matter how much they told me to calm down. i felt an unbelievable pressure in my chest, i thought i was going to pass out from breathing so hard, i was exhausting myself. nonetheless i did not not pass out, i turned, and my husband was there! finally! he held my hand and spoke to me calmly telling me everything was okay. i remember smiling at him and feeling a bit more guaranteed with the situation.
i guess my babies heartbeat had went back to normal after a long while because they wheeled me back to the birthing room. 10 minutes later i was feeling every single contraction, they hit harshly, i was screaming. - once again they did not believe me when i said i was feeling them. another nurse came in and i was balling like mad, she looked to all the others, "she is still feeling them?", and i was the first to shout "YES". she gave me something to sooth them, but it did not work(later i found out it was morphine).
my babies heartbeat plummeted once again. the nurse said if it did it one more time i would be rushed to surgery AGAIN. his heartbeat DID do it again, i began breathing heavily and fast. i realized at this point that i myself was not pulling in enough oxygen, i was so exhausted, and i was not bringing him enough air. i have no idea if it ACTUALLY helped or not, but i continued to do this, his heart staying great at that point. the nurse had called for them to come get me, and i knew this. the second they walked in i shouted "NO NO NO NO NO", they tried to explain to me that i needed this, and i told them just 5 more minutes to see what happens. they sort of sighed at me and told me that it'd be my fault for my babies death if i did not do this, but i protested, and did not let them near me.
(going back to the first time i was rushed for c-section, one of the trainee girls forged my signature for it, by the way, which i am STILL not happy about, i want to light her on fire).
so the lady worked with me on it and actually gave me 10 minutes to see how this would progress. i continued to breath how i was despite the main nurse telling me to calm my breathing. i was checked at this point and the baby was descending into birth canal. i could feel every second of labor. she told me it was time to begin pushing. i got all setup and they told me to push, i said no not until the next contraction. they told me i WAS having a contraction, and they were right i was, but it was about to pass and i wanted to start with a fresh contraction. next one comes up and i push, they all sort of stare at each other in awe, one saying, "oh, she can feel them". .... ya.
so i am pushing away, screaming my head off, bloody murder-style. they tell me he is about out, but no he was not, because i hadn't been pushing that long(from the time i started pushing to the time he was out was a good 2 hours). i start screaming for the c-section now(haha...), but ya it was too late. my husband just says, "this is what you wanted, to feel it all remember?". not the greatest thing to tell me, i was very mad at him from that point forward. the trainee girl across the room(the one that forged my signature), asked me the MOST asinine question i have ever heard. i can not remember it now but i recall rolling my eyes and pretty sure i said some foul things. - i requested the lights be turned off. they are turned off and then i scream for them to be turned back on, very upset that the quick environmental change had changed the way i felt. everyone laughed at me too
my husband told me that the nurses were discussing the use of forceps(after birth though). it was sort of cute i guess, because he got in front of me while they did this, helped me hold my legs and said "PUUUUSH"... but i was still mad at him. it sort of changed when he told me to prove them wrong, that i could do this myself(he did not mention forceps to me but i think he was trying to help me feel more motivated). so i did. i was so ready for the baby to be out at that point, i pushed, i shoved, i screamed, i cried, i grunted, moaned, you name it, and after 2 hours of all the chaos little Kaine was out.
5lbs 15oz, born on nov. 9th 2009 at 5:36AM.
i realize he was not large, but all the same it hurt me.
i am pretty sure i have forgotten a lot of detail and this may be jumpy despite my time to sit down and write this out, but this is much more elaborate than my first birth announcement made here(for my DDC).
i am so happy he is here though!
That was quite the story to be told! Thanks for sharing! And don't minimize your pain by the size of your son, because there are many variables to labor that bring about various pain to each woman. I've known women to say their largest baby was the easist to birth. Each birth truly is different. Regardless, you did good, mama, and I'm glad all are well now! 
