Just got the book today

[unschoolinmom]

Unconditional Parenting came in the mail today and Dh and I have been reading it. It's interesting so far. A lot of it makes sense, especially to Dh. He's the sensitive one and not at all a disciplinarian as I am, which is why I think I'm having a harder time, but things have been easier since the holidays have passed.

Anyway, another question. I'm not certain if it's in the book or not as we've just started reading, but how do you handle bedtime? Right now we're in the two bedroom, so both my son and daughter are sharing a room. At bedtime, they really go nuts. Jumping from bed to bed (which has already landed my daughter breaking her two top teeth and having to get a kiddie root canal to removed them) as well as running back and forth in the room and throwing shoes from the closet.

We usually used to remove things from the room until it was practically bare, but we really don't want to do that and instead try to understand what would help the kids relax in their beds until falling asleep. When they go to bed any later, they are very sluggish in the morning and even more cranky to the point they don't want to do anything.

So any pointers on how any of you handle bedtime? Thanks!

[joanq]

We only have the one so far and he is just the age of your youngest. He tends to do the crazy thing at bedtime too, especially when he feels that we are rushed or any time we *really* want him to sleep. I can't imagine if there was an older sibling egging him on!

About an hour or so before bedtime I offer him a "last call" (ie, "bedtime is in an hour. Do you need something to eat or drink?" "lets finish playing etc"). Then we divide and conquer, he does best when we are working together (rather than my husband doing something else and me handling bed time or vice versa). I think it also makes him feel good that we are both spending the time with him rather than doing the pass off that happens so much of the time. I tell him "Papa is going to brush your teeth and put on your pajamas, then I will read you a book and then we will go to bed".

We have found that lying down with him in his room is the best way to make him calm down quickly. We have never figured out how to get him to stay in there by himself. He is currently acutely afraid of the dark and pops out of bed anytime he is put in there alone. But with us 99% of the time he falls asleep in 10-15 minutes and then we can go about our business. To me the 10-15 minutes to calm sleep is preferable to the hours of back and forth it would take to make him go to bed on his own

Maybe placing a chair between their beds and sitting in there may help if you don't lie down with them anymore?

Good luck!

[mamaofthree]

here is something we set into motion awhile ago. it has worked for us, but that doesn't mean it will work for evryone so take it with a grain of salt...

in the book "heaven on earth" the author talks about bed times. (it a waldorfy parenting book) and a couple things just spoke to us. we started having a bedtime snack (usually honey toast and warm milk) and then the kids do hands, face, teeth and then we read a couple really calming kids books and then i tell them a dream (she didn't suggest this part, just something i thought up when my oldest was a little one). i do a guided visualization (usually involving fairys, or some sort of magic) but i start it out with them doing relaxation (like tightening up their toes, hands, faces, etc and the relaxing them) our bed time might be latish the little guys are in bed by 9:30, but we are not done with everything before 10pm. it works for us almost everynight.

hth

h

[Theia]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

here is something we set into motion awhile ago. it has worked for us, but that doesn't mean it will work for evryone so take it with a grain of salt...

in the book "heaven on earth" the author talks about bed times. (it a waldorfy parenting book) and a couple things just spoke to us. we started having a bedtime snack (usually honey toast and warm milk) and then the kids do hands, face, teeth and then we read a couple really calming kids books and then i tell them a dream (she didn't suggest this part, just something i thought up when my oldest was a little one). i do a guided visualization (usually involving fairys, or some sort of magic) but i start it out with them doing relaxation (like tightening up their toes, hands, faces, etc and the relaxing them) our bed time might be latish the little guys are in bed by 9:30, but we are not done with everything before 10pm. it works for us almost everynight.

hth

h

I really like this. Thanks for sharing!