advice, support

[norajune'smama]

hi ladies. i'm 7 weeks and still nursing dd (27mos) often. it is starting to really wear on me. i feel nauseous and just drained. i know that a lot of it is just first trimester stuff, but sometimes it's directly related to our bfing sessions. for example, sometimes when i nurse her down for a nap, if i fall asleep too she will stay latched on for an hour or two and when we wake up i feel TERRIBLE. she's still night nursing too and that's ok, she usually only wakes once a night, but the nights that it's more are tough.
ok, so the other thing is that she's allergic to dairy and beef so i can't eat either and i'm seriously craving dairy. sometimes i think about it all day, what i would eat if i could eat dairy. and i sort of wonder if some of my feeling crappy is from not eating what my body is asking for.
basically, physically i'm totally ready to stop nursing her, but emotionally, i know that neither of us is ready for that. she knows that it hurts me when she latches on, and several times after 10 minutes or so, i've told her i need her to be done and she seems fine with it. i'm also offering her food a lot and it seems to help. she's definitely nursing less than she was 7 weeks ago.
i just want to hear what other's experiences have been.

[Kuba'sMama]

Hi:
I've been there! When I was pregnant with my daughter, my son just turned 2 and was still nursing frequently, day and night. It was very, very physically uncomfortable (sore nipples, nausea, fatigue). I was scared that he would be traumatized if I quit cold turkey, so I persisted, but relunctantly. I knew however that I would definitely not be able to tandem nurse, my body just was screaming "NO". Then a miracle happened, lol. About 3 months before I gave birth to my daughter my milk totally dried up! He continued to suckle for a bit, but it was easy to tell him "no more milk, because you're a big boy now". He could see that!
My advice? If you resent it, change it. I'm not in that position now, my daughter's been weaned for a year, but I know I wouldn't put myself through that again. Oh and my son is not traumatized, lol.

[To-Fu]

Hi! For what it's worth, my nursing discomfort has decreased GREATLY (though not totally) now that I've hit the second trimester.

[slgt]

DD 23 months was still nursing 2X a day as of about 8 weeks ago. Morning and night. I started getting very nauseated with early pregnancy (hasn't gone away yet at 14 weeks), and had a strong sense that my body just couldn't keep it up - make milk for DD, stay awake enough to nurse her in the evenings, and deal with the frequent vomiting combined with not being able to eat enough.

I decided that I needed to be selfish, and use the few calories that I can keep down for new baby and for my own strength, such as it is.

We had a very gentle transition. I did apologize to DD, and I told her that my milk was sick. I've also been taking Unisom & Zofran for the nausea, and didn't want her to get those meds in her system.

I don't know how to describe it, we changed bedtime & mornings to be lots of cuddle time and reading books together. Whenever she asks about her cicis, we have an easy conversation about it. We also started talking about how she's a big girl and doesn't need to keep nursing, but little babies nurse from their mamas (she has 2 baby cousins).

There haven't been any screaming fits, or tears about it. I dunno, it was really very sweet and gentle. I still miss breastfeeding her, and she occasionally says that she needs a "little bit of cici", but it's not a big deal when we just snuggle instead. It wasn't easy, but it was the right thing for my poor, abused body!

[etsdtm99]

my DD was only 17 months when i got pg with DS .. within a few weeks i coudl not handle nursing her i kept at it for a while but eventually we night weaned and cut back to only nursing to sleep .. my milk dried up early, like 10-12 weeks. (before we cut back) .. she was fine. totally fine, i was still miserable but better and glad i didn't wean her completely, she dropped her nap at 22 months and continued to nurse once a day until 37 months .. and i swore i would not do that again, i swore DS would be older and in his own bed and not nursing at night before i got pregnant, yet here i am - he is 20 months and i just found out i'm pregnant .. so far so good, just a little uncomfortable and still have plenty of milk, but i know that will change in a few weeks.. i'm trying to mentally prepare, i know i don't want to wean him, i know i want to get through this.. and i know it is going to suck, emotionally, physically etc. but everything will be ok, and once the pregnancy is over i know i'll be happy i stuck with it .. i was last time, it was totally worth it .. my DD ended up having surgery at 2.5 (when DS was 7 months) and i was soo happy to have milk for her during that time.

[tatin]

I can completely relate

Hi Mama! I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and my 20 month old dd has taken to nursing all day and night! I was so nauseous in the first trimester and experienced what you are feeling (depleted after every bf session). I can't say if it was the bf'ing or just the nausea, but somehow I felt I could never keep up with my body's demands. I attempted to night wean her a few times, and it was such a struggle that I gave in due to pure exhaustion. I am concerned about her nursing as much as she does at night because I really am suffering from sleep deprivation and I want so much to sleep before I have a newborn to tend to. Not to mention, it is getting more and more uncomfortable to nurse her. Ultimately, what I see and feel is that my dd is so firmly attached to the breast that it really would break my heart to wean her, as much as I am tempted to do it, at times. There are other times where I really love the fact that I still nurse her, because I am acutely aware of the fact that pretty soon she will no longer be my only baby. I do feel my milk supply starting to dwindle, although so far she hasn't seemed to mind. I am willing to tandem nurse, however, not at the pace she is at right now. I know for each mama it is a very personal decision whether to wean or "tough" it out, as I haven't encountered too many moms who claim to have had an easy time nursing while pregnant. I have heard of many moms who stick with it and are so happy that they did. I know for me that the first trimester was far worse than it is now, if that is of any comfort to you. As soon as my nausea subsided, I felt a lot more disposed to nursing.

I wish you all the best no matter which path you take.

[BlackSheepPDX]

I'm 9 weeks, and have been gently weaning my 30 month old. She really only asks MAYBE every other night at this point. My supply is pretty much dried up (confirmed by DH). Before I got pregnant (unplanned coincidental timing), she was at about once a day, and I was feeling like we needed to be starting to wrap up the nursing, and had been trying to introduce alternate comforts, like making sure she's not hungry or thirsty when she asks, and offering hugs and snuggles instead. I can tell she's much more accepting of this now than she might have been a few months ago. She used to be EXTREMELY adamant about "boobs" when she asked, and couldn't really be peacefully redirected. We've had a couple of nurse to sleep sessions in the last weeks, but I've been reminding her that "the boobs are empty" and that it hurts mama when to nurse when they're empty. I only let her have those sessions because it wasn't hurting. Last night, she got about 10 seconds on each side, and I had to tell her no, it wasn't going to work. She fussled for a moment, and then accepted singing and holding hands to sleep instead.

I think my mantra has ALWAYS been that nursing needs to be a mutually positive relationship, and if I"m resentful and in pain, that's not good for either of us. I totally respect those mamas who feel like they are able to nurse through pregnancy, and tandem. In our situation I feel like we are at a good time to end our nursing, and I'm confident that our relationship is taking on new ways of connecting instead.