Arrrggh! Obsession with/mean to animals

[Materfamilias]

DD LOVES our animals. We have two cats and a dog. DD is 17 months. She won't leave the animals alone. The cats are not too bad as she only tries to hold them, and they are amazingly patient with her; when they get tired they just get out of reach. The dog though. Arrgh. He's old, he's crotchety, and he doesn't much care for kids. He's never bitten, but he is clearly annoyed when DD approaches (unless she has food). The problem is that, while she obviously loves him, she hits him ALL the time. If she's angry about something else she goes straight to him and tries to hit; if she's standing next to him she hits him. I've tried the "gentle, gentle" and showing her how to pet, and she will do it for a minute but then she's back to the hitting. It's driving me crazy. Please tell me it's just a short phase!

[Latte Mama]

Whether she loves him or not the dog does not deserve to be hit. An old dog probably has a touch of arthritis and I'm sure this hurts him too. Since she is not being gentle, the dog needs to be separated. My DS has only had brief moments of being rough with my kitties but if it had become an issue, kitties would have gone in another part of the house. I do believe they grow out of it but in the meantime I think they need to be apart unless you can manage to be on top of her every.single.time. she raises her arm to hit.

[rvamommy]

Yeah, my 17 m/o DD has had a few issues with this and I just make sure that every time she treats the dog like this I take her away from the dog. It needs to be reinforced every once in a while but she has pretty much learned that if she isn't gentle she doesn't get to play. And this includes when she is rough and the dog IS NOT irritated. They're smart little things and I've found that negative reinforcement (removal of the desired stimulus) goes a long way.

[Materfamilias]

I have been separating them -- dog on the other side of a baby gate or door, but the dog is a corgi who's been joined to me like glue for 13 years (like, I can't tell you the last time he wasn't in the bathroom with me ) and it's more punishing to him to be separated than to stay with her, if that makes sense. I have been trying to catch her before she goes for him (I've learned to recognize the signs) but can't get there all the time.
*sigh*
I reckon I'll just keep going with the baby gates and pre-emptive attempts at distraction.

[swd12422]

We've been going through this, too. DS is 2 now, and it's been an issue off and on since he could walk. The dog has learned to be more patient, but he still has his limits. If you think the dog might have arthritis or something else that would make him more sensitive than usual to not-so-gentle pats, or if he's just grumpy to kids, then don't let her touch him at all. DS can pet nicely and then starts to get rough immediately. It's fine for our dog b/c he's big and not that old and can take a pounding, but an old small dog probably feels much more vulnerable. Just keep them separate, tell her "no doggie" and just physically move her away from the dog every time she gets close or looks the dog's way. It's EXHAUSTING. But your dog deserves to not be hit, and you definitely don't want him taking matters into his own hands/teeth if she oversteps her bounds.

[elleystar]

My son was like this too, I'd say from 16-18 mo. Just like you said, every time he got upset over something, even unrelated, he'd head for a cat with arm raised. I got sooo tired of having to be on the lookout for the signs. He did outgrow it though, and faster than I thought he might.

[Materfamilias]

Thanks, everyone! Today was a little better. I've learned not to say, "Dont hit!" as that only seems to suggest it more to her. She does better with "be gentle!" *sigh*