Giant four month old baby slowly crushing me to death!!!!

[wanderinggypsy]

Ok so it's not quite that bad. But my lovely four month old, 21+ pound baby is on me All. The. Time. A good nighttime sleeper who politely cosleeps and feeds only once in the night, he is a crappy daytime sleeper who only naps for half hour stretches without me. I have three older kids so I can't nap with him. He's content the first hour or so of the day and then it's fuss fuss fuss unless I hold him/carry him around. I would just roll with it and wear him, but I have SERIOUS back/hip problems, and bearing his weight all day is just not good for me.

Any suggestions at all? What have you all done with your babes at this age to keep them happy? He has a jumperoo that sometimes buys me 5-10 minutes.

Thanks!!

[s_kristina]

MY ds1 was around that size at that age, possibly a bit bigger. I started using a mei tai with him at 6 weeks as he was getting heavy for a sling at that point. He had and still has breathing issues and at that point I was not comfortable laying him down for a nap so I didn't even attempt to lay him down for naps at that age. I only had dd age 4 at that point though. I would hold him in a mei tai while he slept and do whatever else I had to do. At that age with both dd and ds2 I was able to lay them down for a nap then sneak away from them by leaving them snuggled up in the blanket we had both been in. The blanket would keep them warm so they wouldn't notice my body heat leaving and held in my scent as it was the blanket we coslept in.

[wanderinggypsy]

Yeah, we do the mei tai at times, but it's really just getting to be too much for my back. My last baby (my now two year old daughter) was teeny tiny and very very sick for the first 7 months of her life, so I basically just held her allllll the time getting through one day at a time (cancer), and my older boys are now 6 and 10, so I can't really remember what I did with them at this stage. I know that I was quite the babywearer in those days, but hey, maybe that's part of why my back is so messed up now, who knows...

Anyways, today has maybe been a little better. He's not crazy about tummy time but we're working on it, and as he gets used to that position, perhaps I'll be able to gain a few more minutes here and there while he practices his motor skills.

LOL... my MIL suggested baby einstein videos. Hmmm, I think I'll just suffer the pain instead!!! YUCK!

[foreverinbluejeans]

It is possible for a breastfeeding baby to be overweight. There is the concern that overweight babies can be overweight children with health problems. People are going to argue and say my big baby became nice and slim. We used to think that but we are realizing that overweight babies may be at a health risk.

You may be able to slow weight gain by nursing at only one breast a feeding so your baby gets plenty of high fat hind milk. Make sure you aren't breastfeeding to pacify the baby instead of doing other mothering things that would work.

My 15 mo grandson weighs less than 21 pounds. What will your baby weigh when he is a toddler? Please take this information as caring for you and your baby and not as some kind of bashing.

[nukuspot]

I just wanted to say that I do NOT agree with the PP. I don't believe an EBF baby can be overweight. They take in just what they need and do not overfeed. That's just not a problem and don't worry! Your "little guy" is fine.

My advice would be can you try an Ergo carrier? I switched from the Mei Tai to the Ergo at 4 months and could not believe the difference in comfort.

[lach]

There is not a reputable doctor or scientist in the universe that thinks a 21lb 4 month old is "overweight" or that weight at 4 months has any correlation with adult weight: there begins to be a slight correlation at 48 months, and that is the absolute earliest.

For OP, have you tried using a swing for naps? Also, my DD needed to be swaddled until she was over six months! For a baby who is only happy to sleep when worn/pressed against Mom, either of those might be worth trying.

[Bea]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans

My 15 mo grandson weighs less than 21 pounds. What will your baby weigh when he is a toddler? Please take this information as caring for you and your baby and not as some kind of bashing.

Mine was the same weight at that age and 30 lbs at 9 months. To answer your question, he is 38lbs at 37 months and 38" tall. He's a big boy but you know, you'd never look at him naked and think he was fat. Solidly built but not fat. The child has calf muscles like smaller tennis balls and a back that actually ripples with muscle when he exerts himself lifting something.

I'm not sure why you're using your grandson, who is about to fall off the weight charts if he hasn't already, as an example of...what? How everyone elses child should be?

[lach]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans

My 15 mo grandson weighs less than 21 pounds. What will your baby weigh when he is a toddler? Please take this information as caring for you and your baby and not as some kind of bashing.

Also, my 4mo DD weighed 21lbs. At 1 year she weighed 23lbs, and at 2.5 she weighs 30. A 4 month old's weight has NO correlation to later weight. It's very common for EBF babies to gain very quickly for the first 6 months, and then drastically slow down. The growth patters of EBF and FF babies are different (though they even out at about a year), so pediatricians who know what they're doing don't even place that much emphasis on the charts (which were made in the 1950's based on DD babies) with a BF baby.

[wanderinggypsy]

Hehe, I'm pretty sure he's not overweight. He was 24 and a half inches long at birth... the longest baby my midwife had delivered in 20 years of practice. He's actually only a moderately chubby little guy. He's just... big. Long and big boned. But for the record, my second son was a very chubby baby, about the same weight at this age as my current babe, but a few inches shorter. He's now an extremely trim, athletic 6 year old.

Anyways, I actually weighed the little guy last night. He's not 21 pounds. He's 23!!!!!

I guess he had another growth spurt.

Oh, my aching back.

[wanderinggypsy]

Also, thanks for the suggestions re: swing and ergo. I have been quietly wanting an ergo for a while, so I may just have to splurge. And although I never wanted to have one in the house, I may buy a swing to try for naps. Can big babies fit in swings?

Again, thanks. For the genuine help, and the early morning laugh re: the overweight stuff.

[lach]

My 10 month old has a cold so he's been napping in the swing the past few days. I have to put it on a fairly high setting, but it still swings.

Swings have such a short lifespan (usually a parent is done with them by 6 months or so) I'd ask around to see if you can borrow one from a friend before investing in one.

Good luck!

[sunshynbaby]

My babe weighed in at 18 pounds and measured 27 inches at his four month check up. He was about the right weight for his height. If he continues steady at the top 90 percentiles on the charts, he will be a big tall adult just like his dad. He is already getting the football player comments that his dad has endured all his life (he hates the sport, lol) because of his build. He is NOT overweight or overfed, he is just right for his height and build!

I feel for you mama! I have bad carpal tunnel, and my guy wants me to hold him standing up in my lap ALL the time! I just can't do that. I hold him as much as I can, but also utilize the swing, bumbo chair (which he loves but is outgrowing, argh!), floor/tummy time, and a booster seat in the kitchen to give my arms a break. I don't overuse any of these things, but use them for 5-20 minutes at a time when my arms need a rest. It is my modified version of attachment parenting. I may not be holding him all the time, but I am always right there with him.

[wombatclay]

You can find the breastfed baby growth charts here. Like pp's have said, overfeeding an exclusively breastfed babe is nearly impossible... you really can't "force" a babe to nurse if they don't want to, and given the amazing feedback loop between mama and babe, comfort nursing isn't a (nutritional) problem either. I'd say you and your babe are a glowing example of the beauty of breastfeeding to meet a child's very unique needs... can you imagine the stress you might feel if you were giving this munchkin artificial baby milk? Then you really would need to figure out if he's getting too much or not enough!

My dd1 was 9lbs6oz at birth and she has stayed happy and healthy and active in the 95-99th percentile since then. My dd2 was 9lbs at birth and dropped like a stone through the growth chart till she found her own happy, healthy, and active curve close to the 10th percentile for weight and the 50th percentile for height. And my four month old ds? He started at 9lbs8oz at birth and is a happy and rolly-polly 20+lbs at four months. Given that 2.5yo dd2 is only 28lbs, the two of them together puts a smile on my face and is a great demonstration of "every child is unique".

I find the ergo is a godsend for my back. DD2 required more or less constant carrying for the first year due to sensory processing problems and the ergo was the only carrier that worked long-term. Perhaps you can find a gently used ergo if the cost is an issue? Our ergo is now on child number three so they really do hold up! With a bigger babe you wont need any of the infant extras, though the new "teething covers" may be worth it.

I also have a "soothing motions glider" from fisher-price. It is a semi-reclined bassinet (so ds can see the room, not just the ceiling) on a glider track. The bassinet can spin so it glides side/side or front/back. The sides of the bassinet curve up a bit so it feels more secure and ds really enjoys being in it for 10-15 minutes at a time (especially if he can see out the window as well as see me or his sisters). I do hold him a lot, but given two other young kiddos to care for as well as his weight it's nice to have a bit of a break.

For the holiday we were given a seat (similar to a bumbo) that we may use every now and then once he is a bit bigger... it converts to a booster seat so it's something that will be useful for a while. I know there is a lot of controversy over bumbo, and it's certainly not an every day type tool, but perhaps something like that may give your arms a break too.

Good luck and strong back vibes to you!

[Kikelet]

Just a quick reply to the question about swings and big babies - I have read on almost every single tag/box that they hold babies up to 35lbs. I could be wrong, but I've been looking at a lot of them recently, deciding if it's worth it to buy one brand new if it only lasts up to 35 lbs. Best of luck, mama. I also think you should try an ergo!

[mamadelbosque]

Definetly go check out a consigment store or two to find a swing - my DS2's not quite 5 months, and our swing is already put away again - so many of the baby gear stuff is used for *such* a short period of time, it really is amazing.

[annekh23]

I feel your pain, though luckily I don't have a big baby, but I do have joint problems, particularly with one hip - I'm 30 and need a hip replacement! I can't carry my baby on my hip at all, I probably look like I do, but I'm actually carrying her slightly higher up and all the weight is on my arm and upper body.

I'd love to have tips for you, I'm just thankful daily that even my biggest and fastest gaining baby didn't stay big. I currently have 7mth old, she's about 14lb, which is fairly petite.

I can't manage baby wearing in the house, if she's asleep and on me, then I'm staying put, my other kids will survive, it's not a stage that will last forever, but if I overdo things for a few days then have a bad patch, that's worse for everyone than if I have low standards to start off with, I don't like it, but that's the way things are right now.

[JBaxter]

I will chime in on the ergo Its much easier to tote my 27lber around ( now he is 14 months) but we generally have big boys in my family. My one uncle was 30lbs at 10 months old

I just want to say for you having that wonderful momma milk

[mckittre]

Woven wraps are also quite comfortable, and let you put the baby higher up so he can see over your shoulder better. They have more of a learning curve, though.

[Whistler]

Sympathy from my corner. I have scoliosis and arthritis with chronic back pain and... lucky me... ginormous babies. Even #3 who is adopted is 90th percentile! How did I get so lucky?

I babywear on my back since it hurts less to have the weight on my back. I aso sit a lot to hold the baby. I set him in a bouncy chair sometimes when he's happy. Hubby holds kids a lot when he is home. Somehow we make it through.

[Beene]

Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans

It is possible for a breastfeeding baby to be overweight. There is the concern that overweight babies can be overweight children with health problems. People are going to argue and say my big baby became nice and slim. We used to think that but we are realizing that overweight babies may be at a health risk.

You may be able to slow weight gain by nursing at only one breast a feeding so your baby gets plenty of high fat hind milk. Make sure you aren't breastfeeding to pacify the baby instead of doing other mothering things that would work.

My 15 mo grandson weighs less than 21 pounds. What will your baby weigh when he is a toddler? Please take this information as caring for you and your baby and not as some kind of bashing.

This is some bum advice, mama, so keep up the nursing on demand! Your babe knows best! Scheduled feedings are just plain wrong IMO. I have a fairly small babe (25%), but he is solid as a rock. Just is all mass in the way he is built. And genetically, he is like his father, whose metabolism is crazy quick. He (baby, not father ) nurses every 1 1/2-2 hours and several times throughout the night (don't know how may since I barely wake up). He eats A LOT. Still not a big kid. Every baby is different and healthy is different for everyone. Babies will not snack and overfeed themselves like adults. I am not sure what this poster meant to do by "teaching you a lesson" via her grandchild's weight. It demonstrates nothing and your LO's weight is bound to flactuate and eventually balance out.