I see how you feel, and I sympathize, and I see how your comments come from that.
I am not high and mighty or feel entitled. I come from a very poor background (one of my parents is homeless to this day - homeless in the worst sense, chronically and the other parent close to) so as you can imagine I never had a Christmas in a traditional sense. And my own parents can't afford decent food so they are not able to give my child presents of any kind. So, I do not feel entitled or greedy.
My inlaws do have the means to give presents, and do. They do not spend holidays with my child, which is an issue, and there has been some unfairness in some other things about how they treat certain grandchildren.
I don't expect anything other than fairness amongst the grandchildren, and that they do not expect us to take the gifts they give and use them no matter what.
Honestly, I would rather my child not have those type of things, even if it means no Christmas gifts from them. I don't want the clutter, the noise, the batteries we need to change, the safety hazard, etc. They bought age inappropriate things that were choking hazards. Our child has sensory issues and I've explained that over and over and over again. They don't get the choking thing or the over stimulation thing.
So, we just donate the toys usually that aren't right for us because maybe they will be right for someone and I don't want them in a landfill.
But DH's parents are spending the money so wouldn't it make sense for them to buy something that is useful and needed? It's not like all our needs are met so why not try to optimize, you know? As I said, our child has sensory issues and I haven't purchased all the things recommended by the OT due to money. Why not, if they're going to buy something and spend the same amount of money, buy something the OT could be beneficial?
Or another thing I recommended was books! You can't go wrong with books! So, no, I definitely was not greedy nor feeling entitled.
1) your 2 year old wont care or notice the difference in the amount spent
2) while plastic battery operated toys are a PITA they don't last forever. Least the batteries don't. I have all of DD#1's old battery operated toys, and they're still in great shape (we just don't change the batteries ) they're still loads of fun.
3) its YOUR issue not your MIL, not your DH and not your childs. YOURS so something that you persive (maybe rightly so maybe not) will influence your whole family dinamic.
4) Older children are a LOT harder to please, and even used, their gifts would cost an arm and a leg.
5) what ever happend to just being greatful??
6) the gifts are for your CHILD not you. Let your child play with them, if they really don't like them, then donate them, but don't restrict them because of YOUR hook ups. They'll just resent you (excepting being if its dangerous, or weapons, those I would agree with)
7) STOP KEEPING TRACK!!! your only hurting yourself.
I admit this Christmas is a first for me. We've never been rich. We've never gotten more gifts then a child can use. The kids have 1 grandparent. My Father, who usually gives a well thought out (if loud ) toy that the girls LOVE. But he has terminal cancer. As much as he wanted to he couldn't give the girls a gift this year. He did manage to come over for half an hour Christmas day, best gift I could ever have.
Usually the girls get a few gifts, almost always used. Why spend the money on things they're going to brake anyway. Or loose interest in.
Usually WE sponcer a family.
DH lost his job, and my dad is dieing. Christmas was not what it usually is. This year someone gave back and it really opened my eyes and made me all the more greatful. I will never again be angry about a gift I have gotten, or that the girls have gotten. I will always remember and be humbled by this experience.
So while people like youself are resenting these unwanted gifts, people like me would be greatful, even if its not perfict.