DD is 29m and DS is 2m and i have been tandem nursing them. before DS came, DD was practically weaned. my milk dried up and she would "nurse" for 15-30 seconds and let go. Now that i have plenty of milk, she wants it all the time. before DS came, i told her how he would need lots of "mommy milk" and from the time he was born, she's only been allowed to nurse 3x/day (morning, nap and bedtime) except for while she was sick. now if she's asking to nurse at other times, and I say no, she gets mad (screaming tantrums). she also gets mad when i tell her it's time to let go. so i'm trying to decide if i should just go ahead and wean her. i wonder if it would be easier to go through a bad week or two rather than having to fight over it day after day. i'm tired of fighting about something that should be wonderful, you know? if she was happy with the limited nursing sessions, i would be fine continuing until she initiated the weaning, but I'm just sick of fighting over this and wonder if it's worth it?
any advice?
update: guess who said today that she was ready to have her big girl party (meaning no more mommy milk)? woo hoo! I have been continuing to let her nurse since my other post, but trying to avoid it when I could (putting her off or trying not to be around when she was going to ask) I had told her a little while back that when she was ready to be a big kid and stop having mommy milk that we would have a party for her. Then today at lunch she said she was ready to have her party. I asked her when she wanted to have it and she said "now". We decided on this coming Saturday instead so a friend of hers will be able to come.
I am soo excited that she has decided to do it herself. I really didn't want to force her to stop, but I was just becoming so stressed over our nursing relationship that it wasn't healthy for either of us. I'm sure it will be a little said when she has her last session, but we have had a good 2 1/2 years and I feel good about that.
any advice?
update: guess who said today that she was ready to have her big girl party (meaning no more mommy milk)? woo hoo! I have been continuing to let her nurse since my other post, but trying to avoid it when I could (putting her off or trying not to be around when she was going to ask) I had told her a little while back that when she was ready to be a big kid and stop having mommy milk that we would have a party for her. Then today at lunch she said she was ready to have her party. I asked her when she wanted to have it and she said "now". We decided on this coming Saturday instead so a friend of hers will be able to come.
I am soo excited that she has decided to do it herself. I really didn't want to force her to stop, but I was just becoming so stressed over our nursing relationship that it wasn't healthy for either of us. I'm sure it will be a little said when she has her last session, but we have had a good 2 1/2 years and I feel good about that.
I know it's a really hard time. It was much harder to have a new baby than I ever imagined. If it wasn't for tandem nursing, I don't know how I could have stayed connected to my older one like he needed. I found that if I limited him, he seemed to feel even more afraid that I wasn't going to be able to meet his needs and still be there for him, so once I let go and just let him nurse all he wanted, and really let him be a "baby" too, things got so much better. And believe me, sometimes it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. But it was truly the best thing for him and for us, and now that my baby is 18mo I have been limiting him to morning and night and it's going so much better. We just had to get over the first months with a new baby. I would encourage you to think about what underlying things might be contributing and realize that nursing is an easy connection for the older one, and that you'll have to replace it with some other way of connecting if you take it away. KWIM?
