SO PISSED - DH left DS sleeping in a running car - Page 5

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by noobmom

You misunderstand me. What I meant is that it's a minor inconvenience to people who choose not to leave their kids in the car. In your case, you've made the decision that it's NOT worth the trouble of taking the kids. That's where the non-judgment comes in. I don't judge you for thinking it's a major inconvenience. You don't judge me as "living in fear" because to me, it's a minor inconvenience.

Ah - gotcha. I seriously hate all things carseat related.

[moaningminny]

OP, I too would be livid.

I don't care if one is in a "good area" or not, things happen anywhere and everywhere. DH and I are both on the same wavelength when it comes to this - we'll suffer the minor inconvenience of removing our 2 children from the car.

There's really no excuse for it, and for me whether or not it's legal is a moot point.

[mama1803]

What I am curious to know is are there really that many people who actually think crime doesn't happen in small towns? Or that gated communities=safe?

[Porcelain Interior]

Originally Posted by mama1803

What I am curious to know is are there really that many people who actually think crime doesn't happen in small towns? Or that gated communities=safe?

It happens, but the rate of it happening is much less because the population is less dense.

I however would never leave a child in a running car, nor go inside a business while my children were in the car- save my now 14 year old daughter who occasionally prefers to sit in the car and listen to music- with locked doors and if it's not hot out. Otherwise I make her come with or stay home.

[cschick]

Originally Posted by sehbub

It's a 2008 Chevy Uplander. It's definitely not my favorite feature. I don't leave the car running with the kids in it (except for the rare instance I have to run back in to the house) but I know what you mean about sitting and waiting, and if I were living in a different part of the country I'd likely reconsider. It automatically locks when you put it in gear and unlocks when you put it in park.

You may want to ask the dealership if that's something that can be changed/configured (if it bothers you).

We had two basically identical Jettas (a few model years apart, but both the Mark IV model) which had different "locking" rules. When we asked the dealership why, they told us that either could be changed to behave like the other.

[mama1803]

[QUOTE=Porcelain Interior;14857381]It happens, but the rate of it happening is much less because the population is less dense.

QUOTE]

Really???? Try telling that to my parents who live in a small town of less than 2,000. The town has one gas station and that is where many of the drug deals go down as soon as it turns dark.

Statistically fewer people might equal few crimes. But small town living doesn't necessarily equal safe.

After reading some of these posts, it seems to me that people are mistaking "chosing not to live in fear" for "living with a false sense of security".

[mamadelbosque]

No, small town living doesn't neccasarily equal safe. But I can tell you I have *NEVER* heard of a single car jacking in the entire 25 years that I've lived here, nor can I honestly remember the last time someones car got stolen period, let alone while it was randomly idling outside a gas station. I'm not saying it *can't* happen here, I'm just saying that to my knowledge it just hasn't.

And for the record, we don't lock our doors. Haven't in at least 3 years - I know that cause' thats the lenght of time we've lived here, and DH doesn't have a key to the house. I do, my dad does, but its one of those things that we just haven't gotten around to getting for him in the 3+ years we've lived here... And I almost never lock my car doors either - only if I'm like, in Columbus and have stuff in plain view that I'm worried someone might want to steal. But not typically. The way I figure that, if somebodies going to steal my car or radio or whatever... their going to do it. My doors being locked just means I also end up w/ a broken window.

[lifeguard]

No small town doesn't equal no crime but it is greatly reduced. In our time they post in the paper each week all the crimes that the police dealt with the previous week & the list is pretty darn short & usually petty theft. So yeah, in THIS small town I feel safe. Maybe I would feel differently in a different town.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Materfamilias

No to keys in the ignition and car running. I'm too paranoid for that. I have left kids in a locked car to go into a gas station to pay for fuel but ONLY if I can see 'em.

This.

I'd be more afraid of a random person rolling up and shooting my baby while we were crossing the parking lot, than someone breaking into my locked car and hotwiring it and driving off within about ten seconds (because that's all it would take for me to run out of the store).

[Storm Bride]

[QUOTE=mama1803;14857427]

Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior

It happens, but the rate of it happening is much less because the population is less dense.

QUOTE]

Really???? Try telling that to my parents who live in a small town of less than 2,000. The town has one gas station and that is where many of the drug deals go down as soon as it turns dark.

Statistically fewer people might equal few crimes. But small town living doesn't necessarily equal safe.

After reading some of these posts, it seems to me that people are mistaking "chosing not to live in fear" for "living with a false sense of security".

I'm confused as to what drug deals at the gas station have to do with leaving infants in cars. There are lot more people in small towns buying/selling drugs than stealing cars. (No - I don't have statistical proof of that, but I've never set foot in a small town that had no drugs...and I can't recall a single incidence of car theft in any of them.)

There is definitely crime around here. However, I've never heard of a local carjacking - not ever. It's not something I'd factor into any decisions I made about my child and our car. I don't know where the OP is, though.

[pacificbliss]

Originally Posted by Theoretica

Ok but if you're going to look at the potential for each situation to turn catastrophic in an effort to protect your children...

-What if you take your child in and a burglar robs the store RIGHT THEN, shooting you and your child?

-What if you are one of the thousands of people DAILY involved in fatal care accidents and your child is killed simply by being in your vehicle?

-What if you are carjacked?

-What if...what if....

We can't live our lives on what if. Statistically speaking your child is in more danger taking a bath than being in the OP's DH's situation.

Go easy there I think I was pretty clear that i am well aware this is my issue.

[CliffsideMama]

Originally Posted by DivineMrsM

yep, i do it all the time. my 2.5 yo is not strong enough to get himself out of his seat yet. and i lock the doors so no one will steal our van. i often had to drive to even get the kid to sleep to begin with. no way was i going to wake him up for a 2 minute pick up.

as far as i know, it's not illegal here (ontario)

In Ontario, it is illegal to leave any child under age 10 alone AT ANY TIME. I know this from a child abuse workshop given by the city of Toronto.

you never know what could happen... locked doors are not a serious deterrant for serious theives/kidnappers, etc.

[Kivgaen]

Originally Posted by azmomtoone

Seriously? You don't worry about someone grabbing the kids, or seeing them and calling the police (or maybe someone who is a police officer being there seeing them?)
Recently?

I've done it before, with both kids in the car. To do the exact same thing, grab a pizza.

It was a summer day, if I recall, but not hot at all... Like 20 degrees celcius, and not even sunny. A woman came by and noticed the kids in the car (I was watching them from the pizza place while I was waiting.) I noticed her checking them out and she was obviously concerned about them being in the "hot" car. (Windows were open, even though it wasn't necessary).

I went out and spoke to her for a minute. She was going all mental on me, saying exactly the same stuff. And I'm like "Look, it's not like I left them unsupervised -- I'm here, aren't I? The car wasn't even the slightest bit hot when I came back with the pizza.

Some people just over-react over everything. I told her to mind her own business and leave me to mine.

[confustication]

It's 40 below zero with a windchill here. If I had a kid with me and needed to stop for anything for a moment, I'd certainly leave them in the car. There's absolutely no reason to expose tiny lungs to that kind of cold! In situations like that, I usually have all three with me, and I leave them all in the car to run in quickly- I can still see the vehicle and I leave my cell phone with my oldest.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I wouldn't do it, and I don't care if I am worrying to much. The only time my kids EVER get left in the car while I am not in it is if I have to run back in the house to get something, OR when we get home, I get out, go unlock the house door, because its FAAARREEEZZZING here right now, and usually snowing. I want to get them in the house as quickly as possible. OH, and if I am PUMPING gas. Because I am stannding right there and I am paying at the pump. The keys NEVER EVER EVER get left in the ignition. if it is running (Which it does right now because its -40 with the windchill) it is because I used my auto start, which turns off the minute you touch anything if the key is not in the ignition.

You can say Im living in fear, I don't care. And if my husband did what the OP's did, I would be absolutly LIVID, and it would be a long time before I would ALLOW him to take the kids anywhere without me. (He barely does that now as it is)

[mandib50]

i've left my children also in a vehicle - never running though because you cannot lock my car doors from the outside if the vehicle is running. i also live in a very very small town (2500) and with a very cold climate.

it IS a major inconvenience to haul 4 small children out of the vehicle when you're running in to pay for your gas and there is a ton of snow with a -45C windchill. by the time you get the kids out of the van and trudge into the store, i could have been paid for the gas about 3 times over. i don't know if many of you have been out in weather colder than -25C with windchills, but you have to make sure your kids have boots, hats, and toques on, so it is a big process getting little ones out of the vehicle making sure they are all bundled properly.

i did make sure though that i had a direct line of sight to my vehicle, and where i live, that also means you could be back at your vehicle in about 5 seconds maximum.
i wouldn't have left them in a large parking lot or where i wouldn't have been able to see them, or if i was going to be in a place for more than a few minutes.

i guess i don't just see it as a straight black and white issue - there are so many factors to be taken into account.

[Marsupialmom]

Originally Posted by cschick

See, THAT I'd consider pretty unsafe. I grew up in the city, and if you're in park and waiting (say, for someone to come out of an apartment) you keep your doors locked for safety reasons. What kind of car is this?

Ours will only lock with the locks on the door. You cannot lock the doors with the key fob. The drivers door has to be manually locked if the key is in ignition. My dh has locked the door and shut it a time or to.

[mandib50]

Originally Posted by Kelly1101

This.

I'd be more afraid of a random person rolling up and shooting my baby while we were crossing the parking lot, than someone breaking into my locked car and hotwiring it and driving off within about ten seconds (because that's all it would take for me to run out of the store).

for sure!
i remember the time i was in a shoe/clothing store with my 4 kids. my youngest at the time was probably about 1 1/2 years old, so he was toddling up and down the the aisle while we were trying on shoes with the other kids. all of a sudden i heard screaming and a kid was flying out the store shoplifting a shirt and he ran out the door and slammed the door open to the inside so hard it made a bang.

i can't tell you how grateful i was that we had not been looking at clothes at the front of the store where my little one could have been in the way and have been bowled over by the shoplifter or smashed by the door.

i guess you just never know. you take calculated risks when it comes to making decisions for the kids, and i really doubt that any mother on MDC would knowingly put their child in harm's way.

[Pookietooth]

There are signs posted in parking lots here saying it's illegal to leave kids in a car unattended per city code. But I see it all the time.