I have to be more mindful of my posts here. Perhaps I should update daily. I don't want everyone to think that I only have extreme highs and lows.
The closer I get to the divorce on Wednesday, the worse I get. I am on anti anxiety medicine to get me through to that day. I made so many positive steps over this past year, but the last month has been hell. I cry all the time over stupid things. I feel like I can't be alone, which is hard because I don't have that many friends. Right now I am crying because I don't understand my homework. I shouldn't have waited until the last minute to do it, but I have to drug myself to get through a day so all I wanted to do yesterday was lie in bed.
The main feeling I have is sadness. I am so sad right now. I was so happy this past year, happy despite some shitty circumstances. The happiness was still there. But for the past three weeks or so, I have felt horrible. I want it all to be over. Please, God, I have only three more days to suffer through until I can go and make it over.
I would be anxious about that, too. Your feelings are totally normal. Take it one day at a time. And you're never alone......we're always here.