Well I got there first. I looked gorgeous, by the way. Just saying. I specifically wanted to look as good as possible. He looked like crap. Like he had been chewed up and spit out. I mean, really, he looked terrible.
That made me feel better about myself.
Anyway, so we go in and they wont let my Dad come with me, which I expected because my order of protection was up in October. He didn't give me a reason to renew it, as he didn't break it, so I went in by myself.
We went in and sat at a table. The judge's office was smaller than my parent's bedroom, so it was cramped. I did not have to sit next to him though, thankfully. The court officer was there behind me. I was happy because I think my ex is half crocked in the head and you never know what he will do. So that made me feel better.
The main reason I haven't moved is because they make you say your information outloud in there, I knew this from when I worked at the domestic violence shelter. I did not want him to know any potential new address, so now that this is over, maybe I can finally move!
Anyway, they almost did not grant the divorce because one box did not get checked. The reason the box did not get checked was because the paper works says NOT to check the box, so I pointed that out to the judge. I mean, really, they should not have a huge mistake like that on the paperwork, IMO.
However, because we both agreed on the date of separation, and that has been over one year, she was able to grant the divorce based on that.
She asked me about property. We had already agreed on the division of things. They asked me about my medical bills and I was able to say that I have paid them off in FULL thankyouverymuch.
I kind of got the impression from his lawyer that he was actually more sympathetic to me than towards my ex. I think people generally look down on those who punch their half blind wives. Anyway...
So she asked me if he was working and I told her I didn't know. I don't think he is, but I can't 100% sure. I think she was testing me to see if I had really been spending time with him. I have not seen him since we went to court last October for the assault. She asked about his retirement and I told her that he used it to pay off our credit card and I agreed that that was fair.
He actually did have a little bit leftover from that, but whatever.
I just want my freedom.
I was granted that and my old last name back. We have no kids, I did not need that constant reminder.
So, she said that I will get a decree in the mail and if I have an issue with it, I have five days to let her office know. If I don't have any issue with it, she will sign it after 5 days and I will get the final decree in the mail.
Then I left, my Dad and I decided to walk down the stairs because I did not wish to be in the elevator with him. He yelled down the stairs for me about binoculars. I have no idea where the smilies are in this new format, but insert the eye rolling smiley here. My Dad had given me an expensive set of binoculars and I did not know if I packed them or left them. Ex said he couldn't find them. So I look up the stairs and here he is hanging over the side of the railing. I was like "If you say you don't have them, I believe you." and I walked away.
I really wish to never see him again.
I am changing my phone number in December, when I get my new phone and phone plan.
As soon as I get the final decree in the mail, and know that I wont be obligated to provide my address to anyone anymore, then I will begin to look in to getting a real job that pays real money, even if it is out of state.
I will no longer allow the fear to hold me down. I will move on with my life. I will thrive. I will live up to the potential that I know that I have. I will do it on my own, too, because I have my best interests at heart.