nursing room, good or bad? - Page 3

[annekh23]

Originally Posted by KimberlyD0

I love that they're avalible for those who need them. I used them a lot when DD was very small because I had to use a sheild, not easy to be discreat with that, though when I did have to use the shield out in the open I got quiet a few smiles of encouragment, very supriseing..

I totally get that, I've not had to use a shield myself, but I have seen people using them and it isn't easy to be discreet.

Even with shields, I've seen different women approach it differently, one friend felt it was so indiscreet that she couldn't nurse outside of the home and I suspect in the early days with a first baby I'd have felt the same way.

I've seen others happily use them in all women company, but even at LLL meetings I've seen some women trying to use a cover so they can use a shield and then having great difficulty.

I remember the first time I nursed out of the home, it was 5 days after DS was born, we went to the evening service at church, so there weren't any nursery facilities in use. So I went to the nursery, thinking it would be empty, instead there were two men looking after toddlers, whilst their wives were in the service, not just any old men either, between the two of them they were half the eldership of the church! I think that one experience, without me realising at the time changed my whole future nursing out of the home experiences. They made me feel completely comfortable, they didn't attempt to leave, or look in another direction, just made me feel that nursing my baby was the most normal thing to do in the world, which then removed my need to even go to that room, unless baby was noisy, or had a dirty diaper.

I don't think there actions were concious, just normal for them in all ways, as highly educated middle class men in the UK, but it made a huge difference to me in the long term.

Which then bothers me how it would have shaped my future as a breastfeeder if they had left the room, suggested I go somewhere else, or offered me a cover, again something I think people who would do that wouldn't do with any thought about the long term, but if called on it, might argue that it wouldn't affect the long term, when I feel it would, even for me as a highly committed breastfeeder.

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by GreenGranolaMama

Good for you Mama!!!

We were given a "Baby's first 100 Words" picture book and DH and I were bummed that the picture under milk was a baby and a bottle so DH taped a picture of DS and I nursing over the picture of the bottle

I can't remember what book it is, but I have one baby picture book that actually has a mommy BF her baby. I can't for the life of me remember the name. I'll have to see if I can find it.

[lach]

Originally Posted by KimberlyD0

I can't remember what book it is, but I have one baby picture book that actually has a mommy BF her baby. I can't for the life of me remember the name. I'll have to see if I can find it.

The Usborne First Experiences about the new baby has the mother BFing, I believe. My friend was very upset about it and threw the book away.

[mamatogirls]

Originally Posted by mamazee

I would nurse my first anywhere, but my second doesn't nuse if there are any distractions. Therefore, I LOVE nursing rooms. I wish there were nursing rooms everywhere!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by lach

The Usborne First Experiences about the new baby has the mother BFing, I believe. My friend was very upset about it and threw the book away.

Wow! I guess in our society, there may actually be more mothers who get upset and emotional about breastfeeding pictures, than there are those of us who get offended at the way bottlefeeding seems to so often get pictured as "the norm."

With this in mind, I suppose it makes sense that people in the money-making business are more often gonna err on the side of offending breastfeeding moms. I mean, I get tired of seeing all the bottles or bottlefeeding picutures displayed on photo albums, babyshower wrapping paper, children's books, etcetera ...

But it doesn't engender emotional pain in me, whereas I can see how it might be painful to a mom who wasn't able to breastfeed, to constantly be confronted with breastfeeding pictures when she went shopping for shower gifts, read a parenting magazine, or read a book to her child about babies.

So maybe our goal should be to have an EQUAL representation of breast and bottlefeeding pictures, rather than totally REPLACING the bottlefeeding pictures with breastfeeding ones.

[boobs4milk]

i've never been able to use those little ante-rooms outside of the bathrooms. they always smell like old lady poo.

[lach]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

Wow! I guess in our society, there may actually be more mothers who get upset and emotional about breastfeeding pictures, than there are those of us who get offended at the way bottlefeeding seems to so often get pictured as "the norm."

With this in mind, I suppose it makes sense that people in the money-making business are more often gonna err on the side of offending breastfeeding moms. I mean, I get tired of seeing all the bottles or bottlefeeding picutures displayed on photo albums, babyshower wrapping paper, children's books, etcetera ...

But it doesn't engender emotional pain in me, whereas I can see how it might be painful to a mom who wasn't able to breastfeed, to constantly be confronted with breastfeeding pictures when she went shopping for shower gifts, read a parenting magazine, or read a book to her child about babies.

So maybe our goal should be to have an EQUAL representation of breast and bottlefeeding pictures, rather than totally REPLACING the bottlefeeding pictures with breastfeeding ones.

To be clear, my friend isn't anti-breastfeeding. She breastfed both of her kids. She was opposed to the illustration of the visible breast.

[babymommy2]

I can imagine someone wavering on breastfeeding thinking they'll be able to just whip out a bottle rather than have to find a nursing room.
I think it more likely that if you are uncomfortable BF in public you are more likley to BF if there was a nursing room, than if there wasn't.If there was no place at all, they you 'd more likey whip out the bottle.

As far as the church issues go, is that even legal? In Canada there is no way a church would get away with not allowing BF, or limiting to certain rooms. Anywhere children are allowed to be, you are allowed to feed them, at least that is my understanding of the law.

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by lach

The Usborne First Experiences about the new baby has the mother BFing, I believe. My friend was very upset about it and threw the book away.

I've heard of that one. Never actually seen it though.

This book is just a picture book with one word kind of thing. Its a Canadian book. I can't find it I think it might be one of the ones I gave to another mom friend.

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by boobs4milk

i've never been able to use those little ante-rooms outside of the bathrooms. they always smell like old lady poo.

Thankfully I have never seen a nursing/parenting room ajasent to the bathroom

the closest if the Mall Family room that has 4 different area's. 1 change area, one bottle area (microwave and kettle in there) one nursing and one of to the end, entirly closed off that is a bathroom with a big toilet and a small toilet. Perfict for little kids. Its actually an entirly different room from the other 3. In the middle is HUGE play area for older kids. It has trains, large wood blocks, and a books a couple chairs for adults too.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

It seems bizarre to me that small children would feel "upset" by seeing babies getting fed and changed. I wonder what that's REALLY all about!

Ditto -- I've nursed in front of very young (mostly formula-fed) children and they weren't bothered at all by it... they came up & patted my son's head or jumped up & sat beside me to see the baby... and these are kids I don't even know well.

Anyway, to the OP, the setup you described sounds very strange... and the 'adult women only' is particularly upsetting... in fact when DS was younger I NEEDED my DH to help me get him latched, so would he not be allowed in there to help? I guess I also don't see the point of a nursing room if it's not quiet or particularly comfy/convenient. Also there should be speakers or something so you can hear the sermon or at least something requesting that the nursing mothers still remain quiet & prayerful...

[boobs4milk]

Originally Posted by KimberlyD0

Thankfully I have never seen a nursing/parenting room ajasent to the bathroom

the closest if the Mall Family room that has 4 different area's. 1 change area, one bottle area (microwave and kettle in there) one nursing and one of to the end, entirly closed off that is a bathroom with a big toilet and a small toilet. Perfict for little kids. Its actually an entirly different room from the other 3. In the middle is HUGE play area for older kids. It has trains, large wood blocks, and a books a couple chairs for adults too.

that sounds DREAMY! the only rooms i've seen here in the malls are just outside the toilet area and anyone wanting to use the toilet has to walk through them. so every time the door opens, poo scent is wafted in :S babies r us has a family/nursing room, but every time i've been in there it looked like it hadn't been cleaned in AGES and smelled of dirty diapers!

[annekh23]

I checked the room out again this Sunday, when it happened to be empty. The chair I thought was a rocking chair is actually a rocking office chair, still on wheels. So all the chairs are on wheels, which are not just annoying for me to use, but downright painful.

I think they are still working on how the speaker system is set up, but this week it was hearable without being too loud in this room. It might not have been last week.

However, I have noticed that if I leave the service with the baby, people do come up and talk to me, which annoys me, their job that morning may mean they have missed enough of the sermon that they aren't trying to follow it at that moment in time, but I am and obviously so, the bible in one hand and standing under the speaker might be a clue!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by babymommy2

I think it more likely that if you are uncomfortable BF in public you are more likley to BF if there was a nursing room, than if there wasn't.If there was no place at all, they you 'd more likey whip out the bottle.

I don't know of any brand-new nursing mamas who start out "comfortable" with breastfeeding in public. For me, what helped was getting to see some other mamas relaxedly and matter-of-factly nursing their babes in the church sanctuary or wherever they happened to be.

I don't think the existence of a parents-and-babies room is necessarily a bad thing. It can be a good thing, so long as no one is sending out the message, especially to new moms, that this is the ONLY place where they "should" feel comfortable whipping it out.

crunchy_mommy, I had to smile when I read your post about needing your dh's help to get your new baby latched on. It reminded me of how I used to need complete visibility of my nipple, in order to get dd1 latched on.

So in church we'd sit toward the back, and dh would hold a blanket in front of me while I pulled out my entire breast and got dd latched on, then we of course didn't need the blanket as my top covered the part of the breast that wasn't covered by dd.

I guess people on the side could have got a view -- but of course they should've been looking straight ahead, watching the pastor or the choir anyways, right?

[earthmommy2]

Never have I been required to use one, and I have used them willingly. What I do have to say is sometimes is irks me that when I'm at the mall, my son doesn't want to just sit and nurse when he can hear other kids playing in the little play area right in the lounge area...so we are doing the open the curtain play run back dance...and it's not always functional. It would be nice if kids could play and nurse without issue. I don't care where I nurse, I've literally nursed in some pretty bizarre places and some that have been kinda impressive by the response I got. My personal fave, out side the USDA building in Washington DC under a tree while my daughter played with daddy .
I wonder often how much though was put into the location of some of these nursing rooms?!?!

[canadiannancy]

I think, like some other pp that they are great, to exist, as lon g as I must not use them.

I had one of my most awful bf moments recently at a local mall. DH was in the washroom and I had DS in the food court feeding him. A woman told me didn't I know there was a room for that( actually a chair divided off the womans washroom) I said I knew it was there, but was still nursing right where I was. She replied that nursing was disgusting and that people were eating there. I just continued nursing and didn't say anything. If anyone official had asked me to leave I would have mentioned that I wouldn't legally I didn't have too...but as it was I sat there and just nursed uncomfortably.

In another local mall there is a nursing room I use regularly, but that is mostly so that I have a safe place to contain my three other littles, and it is a comfortable seperate room from the washroom, with comfy chairs, a sink and microwave for baby food/formula/breastmilk warmage included....but there like anywhere else if I was forced to nurse there, and not anywhere my little wanted to I would be very very upset!

[KimberlyD0]

Originally Posted by canadiannancy

I think, like some other pp that they are great, to exist, as lon g as I must not use them.

I had one of my most awful bf moments recently at a local mall. DH was in the washroom and I had DS in the food court feeding him. A woman told me didn't I know there was a room for that( actually a chair divided off the womans washroom) I said I knew it was there, but was still nursing right where I was. She replied that nursing was disgusting and that people were eating there. I just continued nursing and didn't say anything. If anyone official had asked me to leave I would have mentioned that I wouldn't legally I didn't have too...but as it was I sat there and just nursed uncomfortably.

In another local mall there is a nursing room I use regularly, but that is mostly so that I have a safe place to contain my three other littles, and it is a comfortable seperate room from the washroom, with comfy chairs, a sink and microwave for baby food/formula/breastmilk warmage included....but there like anywhere else if I was forced to nurse there, and not anywhere my little wanted to I would be very very upset!

I would have said I know.. my babies one of them