Update #15! Curly, frizzy ACK! Hair help needed

[JTA Mom]

I am sooooo frustrated with my hair. Before babies, I had nicely 'tight' raphaelite (sp?) curls. All I needed to do was 'scrunch' in a bit of gel or leave in conditioner and I was fine.

After ds1, my hair thinned out a bit and lost a bit of curl. After ds2 my hair decided to become super thick--know those big clips that you can twist your hair on the back of your head with? The ones for 'thick' hair aren't big enough. They used to be. Not anymore.

It also lost much of its curly-ness. It's more wavy now. However, it doesn't lie smoothly. It's all frizzy. I have a halo of hair all around me. It's just ugh. Mousse doesn't help. Neither does gel or my usual standby of Garnier Fructise leave in conditioner AND smoothing balm.

I'm at my wits end. It looks so messy. I feel like I can't find the right products or something for it. I wouldn't have a problem with the wavyness if there weren't wispies all over the place. I mean, if I pull my hair into a ponytail, I have a halo of little frizzies everywhere. If I leave it loose, there's no 'shape' to the curls. Combined with the frizzies it looks like I've been rolling around on velcro!

My hair is thick, but the texture is fine/medium thickness. It's not coarse at all. I have/had? the typical Greek curly hair. Right now it's midway down my back. However, I have had it cut to shoulder length with no change in curl or frizzies. And this is from a good stylist who cut my hair the same as before babies, when it came out beautifully.

I tried doing conditioner-only. Got rid of the frizzies BUT left a gray-ish cast to hair and I couldn't get my fingers into my hair without copious (2 cups) of vinegar rinse. Never again.

Please, those of you with nice curly hair, help me!

Ami

[MadiMamacita]

you said you tried conditioner only, so I'd suggest No-Poo. The book Curly Girl has some good recipes, or you can buy it.

heres a site with a baking soda recipe and troubleshooting: http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html

heres a no-poo shampoo: http://www.curlmart.com/DevaCurl-No-Poo-p-53.html

ETA: looks like that second site is having a few sales, including buy-one get-one on Miss Jessies, which I have heard very good things about.
http://www.curlmart.com/miss-jessies.html I have heard that the curl pudding is excellent.

eta again, bumble and bumble makes some great curl products.
the curl creme ad the defrizz are great. http://www.amazon.com/Bumble-Conscio...f=pd_sim_hpc_2

[boobybunny]

My hair did the same thing..

Before children thick near ringlets and almost strawberry blond and thick.. always have 2x the hair others have.. but soft not coarse.
After first child, dull dark straight-ish, like every 4th hair was curly. Lost tons of hair.
after second child (23 months later) the halo of friz. I actually considered perming it. Ended up cutting it all off and starting over. When the child was 4 my hair was back, darker, but back.

Then I got pregnant with number three..

He is now 5, and I straight iron my hair. The curl is gone... except for the wispy friz. I can get it to curl with coaxing but it is more work than ironing it.

I do use a silicon based product..smells great and has oils in it too...got it from my stylist who has super curly hair. (and the label is gone..sorry)
good luck..and I could never noo poo... too much hair, too much sweating..

[Penelope]

Do you have the book "Curly Girl"? IIRC it's pretty good.

[Violet2]

I have some hormonal/health issues that have affected my hair at one time or another.

I have/had curly hair but, at times, have gotten just a body wave perm to help it be consistent. B/c I have naturally curly hair those body waves last forever so it's economical.

I am considering doing it again. I had lost 1/2 my hair with hormonal problems and went short to cover the thinning. My hair seems to have come back with being pg but the curl is not as good. I would like to go shoulder length but need to the hair to behave, so I'm thinking perm.

So body wave perm is my suggestion and what I plan to do.

ETA: IME there's no miracle product that 'fixes' curly hair. If products can get it done, then any product will work, kwim? I use the Garnier Fructis Curl gel stuff myself.

V

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Giovanni's frizz be gone is amazing!

http://www.giovannicosmetics.net/item.asp?prodtype=HAIR CARE&category=ORGANIC&model=STYLING&item=FBG-2

[Essie]

Wow, I thought these were just hair myths; but I guess they are true (pregnancy and hair change).

Have you tried Ouidad? it's the only product line that works for me and I have tried them all! I finally learned to NOT use the hair dryer at all. Don't put a towel on your head after you wash hair and only loosely if you must. Gently turn head over and scrunch in the stuff. I use these products from them:
http://www.ouidad.com/Curl-Quencher-Gel
http://www.ouidad.com/Climate-Control

There's no crunchy or greasy look once you get down the right amount to use!

This sounds totally wacky, but I just got a space heater called the heat dish from Costco. I have been sitting by it to heat dry my hair and it takes out all the frizz. I can't sit there long enough to dry it all, but it really helps!

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product...atchallpartial

I can totally sympathize with the frizz factor; it sucks! esp. when those clueless people with smooth straight hair complain about having a "fro". Not only uncool but totally the wrong thing to say!

Good luck

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by Essie

Have you tried Ouidad? it's the only product line that works for me and I have tried them all! I finally learned to NOT use the hair dryer at all. Don't put a towel on your head after you wash hair and only loosely if you must. Gently turn head over and scrunch in the stuff. I use these products from them:
http://www.ouidad.com/Curl-Quencher-Gel
http://www.ouidad.com/Climate-Control

Yes, yes, yes!! I have lived with every variety of curly/wavy/frizzy hair for 40 years that you can think of. I cringe when I get it cut because few people know how to cut curly hair. NO products have ever made a difference in my hair - ever. We moved to an area that has and Ouidad stylist and my DH made me go there. Now I'm spending an unheard of amount (for me - I tend to be very low maintenance cost wise on hair) every month for conditioner and mousse made by Ouidad. I used to love my hair, and it looked good. Then in my 20's it was ok, but not great like my teens. Hit 30's, had kids, it went to crap. Now, for the first time in probably 20 years I can say my hair looks GREAT again!! I had heard people talk about her stuff and never would get it because of the price, but it is so totally worth every penny. And for me a compliment about a hair product is usually "it didn't screw it up worse". Check her site and follow her methods. I really don't think her style of cut is as important (though of course a good cut is a good cut, if you have a decent stylist then you should be good - I could never find one!) as is her method with the products. I did try it with other brands and it just doesn't work as well. There's one video on there that's just an amazing transformation. LOL and no, I don't have any stake with the company, I'm just majorly excited to have found my "miracle cure" for my hair!

[JTA Mom]

Thanks for all the replies!

I'm not sure about no-poo. I'm scared to try! Even just running water through it makes it hard to even finger comb through--dunno why, but I do have hard water, maybe that's why? And I need to do that--I lose a ton of hair (remember, SUPER thick) each day that needs to come out. If I don't finger comb, it goes everywhere. So just a bit of baking soda, and some apple cider vinegar water. Well, doesn't hurt to try! I also only wash my hair 1-2 times a week. Whenever I've washed more often, my hair would become monstrous--super frizz and breakage.

Curly Girl, I think I read that book or the Curl Talk one by Ouidad. That's where I got the idea for conditioner only. And it worked nicely for the frizz. But the grayish cast and the insane amount of vinegar wasn't nice. Dh said I smelled like a salad the entire month I was trying it out!

I skimmed through the curly girl book on Amazon. I went from corkscrew (the picture of Juliana Marguiles WAS my hair. Except a couple shades lighter), to Botticelli curls (the pic of Nicole Kidman is my hair on a good day!). No wonder I'm confused! If anyone has the book, can you let me know what the routine is for Botticelli girls?

I don't like silicones too much. I tried it 'back in the day' and while my hair looked great in the beginning, after a bit of use, it would 'build up' and cause all sorts of issues. The graying was one, then my hair became super limp. I had to use stripping shampoos, which got rid of the 'gray cast' but dear God, the frizz!

And Oh my Goodness those Ouidad prices! *faint* I want to try it but I'm scared to. I had a super expensive curl lotion that worked pre-babies and after ds1 pretty well. No longer works now. If I could only try *one* of their products, which one would you guys recommend over the others? Or do they sell samples?

O/T, but Essie, I <3 that heater from Costco. I want to take it everywhere with me in the house. Alas, I have a smaller air blowing one, so cannot justify buying the Costco one. But I do like to bask in it every time I go grocery shopping.

Ami

[SunshineJ]

Yeah, Ouidad is insanely expensive - and something I would never ever, EVER have imagined me spending the money on. Probably the most important for the health of your hair is the conditioner, but honestly, I've found that any will work for most hair. DD's hair is curly and fine and tangles like crazy and the Krly Kids conditioner is the only thing that works for her, so that's why we get that. For my hair, eh, any will work. The mousse (or gel if you prefer) would be the thing I would get if I could only pick one product - that's the one that has the most impact on the finished look.

ETA: DH suggested I post before and after pics. Here are the pics I took the day I went in to the place. I was having a good hair day before I went in. Now, I can't get it exactly like that but I come really close just by using the whole technique.

[JessicaS]

I like http://jessicurl.com/ products. They work really well for my hair.

[Essie]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Yeah, Ouidad is insanely expensive - and something I would never ever, EVER have imagined me spending the money on. Probably the most important for the health of your hair is the conditioner, but honestly, I've found that any will work for most hair. DD's hair is curly and fine and tangles like crazy and the Krly Kids conditioner is the only thing that works for her, so that's why we get that. For my hair, eh, any will work. The mousse (or gel if you prefer) would be the thing I would get if I could only pick one product - that's the one that has the most impact on the finished look.

Oh yeah, I forgot; the conditioner is great too. The thing about Ouidad stuff is it lasts for a VERY long time. You don't need much!
I like this; http://www.ouidad.com/Balancing-Rinse

[JTA Mom]

Originally Posted by Essie

Oh yeah, I forgot; the conditioner is great too. The thing about Ouidad stuff is it lasts for a VERY long time. You don't need much!
I like this; http://www.ouidad.com/Balancing-Rinse

That's good to know! Makes the 'investment' not as painful.

I picked up some DevaCurl low-poo and some DevaCurl Angell at my local Rite Aid. I couldn't find any Ouidad, but I will check out some beauty supply stores.

I <3 the low-poo though. It cleaned my hair (and it was full of icky gel and a few days of buildup) without stripping at all. The 'halo' of frizz is much lowered. Still a bit, but nothing like before! And no gray cast either! It took that off too! So I'm happy there.

The Angell though isn't strong enough, I think. My curls are a bit better, but they are falling apart into a bit of frizz. If my hair were shorter I think it would help, but it's a bit too long to have that gentle of a hold. So, on that end, I will go looking for some Ouidad stuff.

Somewhere I read that the conditioners for curly hair are similar to the really cheap Suave stuff, so I checked a bottle of Devacurl and Suave. Other than the Parabens in the Devacurl, they were almost exactly the same. So I got some Suave conditioner. My hair does smell really nice too. The DevaCurl smells yummy!

Ami

[gerlassie]

I don't know if it's been mentioned but Mixed Chicks saved my hair. After I weaned my third child my hair became very brittle and started falling out. My scalp was incredibly dry and I lost massive amounts of hair everyday. I finally discovered this/these products and the damage has been reversed. It's a little pricey but well worth it.

[JTA Mom]

Well, I think I may have found 'it'!!!!

My sister showed me this site: http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome/

And I tried it.

WOW! I got my curls back! I don't have as tight curls as she does, so I just brushed through and then ran my fingers through my hair, squeezing them together to 'clump' the curls. I thought the conditioner would weigh down my hair, but it hasn't, it actually curled into ringlets! Best part? The conditioners are cheap!

Then I 'plunked' my hair, using one of dh's old white undershirts. Here's the best video on it that I've seen (ignore the product recommendations, it's the technique that works!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kM6SPccp58

You don't have to plunk the hair if you don't want, but we were going somewhere soon, and I needed to get dressed. I hate having a really wet back, so I plunked it.

I am also following her 'braid at night, refresh in the morning' and it really, truly works. I just wet my hands and run them on the top & back of my hair (I kinda lean on one side, then the other). My curls pop back, the top smooths down AND I've gotten complements on my hair.

I still use DevaCurl no-poo, since it cleans my scalp without stripping my hair or causing a grease lump like just conditioner did.

I am not a frizz ball anymore! And I got my curls back. I never realized how much I would miss them until they left me. Hopefully this will help someone else following this thread.

Ami

[Denvergirlie]

Glad to hear you've had some success!

I plunk my curls, but they are not close to being that tight. I'm still expeirmenting myself, mostly just condition wash, but know I need to find something different.

Hope to have continued success.

[JTA Mom]

Originally Posted by Denvergirlie

Glad to hear you've had some success!

I plunk my curls, but they are not close to being that tight. I'm still expeirmenting myself, mostly just condition wash, but know I need to find something different.

Hope to have continued success.

Thanks. Yea, my curls are nowhere near as tight as hers. And easily weighed down with product. For some reason leaving the conditioners in (I just used Suave) made my hair stay in ringlets. My hair is mid-back length and it's a loose wavy-esque curl (or was, before this).

I can't do conditioner only wash (maybe I was using the wrong conditioner?), but leaving it in seems to work. My hair doesn't even look greasy, which is nice. It does feel weird as it's drying though. Kinda slick and, at the top, 'crunchy-esque' which goes away when my hair is totally dry.

What issue do you have? Maybe some of the other posters reading can help?

Ami