co-sleeping with toddler, baby and DTD

[boobs4milk]

dh and i are just finding it difficult and we are REALLY needing to re-connect. our girls are 4 yrs and 3 mos and we have a queen bed. moving to the floor is a no-go because the minute i move away, baby wakes up! i have to keep a hand on her and keep within touching distance. we dtd this a.m. with the baby's foot on my face!

am i alone in NOT feeling weird DTD like this? is it 'wrong' in some way? we basically move down to the foot of the bed. i've tried to discuss this with others IRL, but i get the 'ewwww you sick child molester' looks so i just keep my mouth shut.

eta: i guess my concerns are for the 4 yr old b/c baby is not really conscious of what we are doing.

[SundayCrepes]

Welcome to the world of co-sleeping. Though I'm a bit jealous that you actually have a sex life. If the 4 year old is asleep, I wouldn't worry. Maybe find a way that it won't be too obvious what you're doing if she wakes up. (Use blankets over you, etc.)

[boobs4milk]

thank you for the response, sundaycrepes! we don't really have a sex life, but we are in desperate need of reconnection. i got pg jan 28 and we did not dtd again until baby was about 8 wks old. i had a horrible pg (loads of bedrest/pelvic rest) and then afterwards she was in the nicu, had feeding issues, i got my tubes tied, etc. we have 7 kids (2 stepsons) and it's tough to find the time and energy but when we do, i don't want to do the wrong thing by dtd in the family bed (if that makes sense).

dh and i don't have an issue with it, but we were just wondering if maybe we were weirdos and everyone else IRL telling us that we are weirdos are normal! i guess 'normal' is what you make of it, especially when you are trying to connect with your children by assuring them of their safety at night.

[Taliena_86]

DH and I dtd 6 weeks pp while she was in bed with us also and I didn't even think about that until after we were done. I was like, huh, she didn't wake up I never thought it was weird... but then thought I might be for thinking that!

[Pookietooth]

DH will not DTD in the same room with the kids, so it looks like it will be a couple years for us,