What do you do with your kids during delivery?

[Suzannah]

Thinking way ahead, but in August I will have a hospital birth with a mid-wife. DD will be 10 at the time, and I am not sure that I am comfortable with her in the delivery room. What did you do with your (older) kids while you were delivering?

I know this question does not apply as much to a homebirth, and that is not a possibility for me, so responses for a hospital birth would be most helpful. TIA!

[Cativari]

My kiddos are a lot younger then yours (2 and almost 4) but they'll be there at the delivery. The hospital I deliver at only requires a careperson (my DH) for the kids to be there. DD was there when DS was born and I hope things go well enough to have both kids there this time. It always helps to have a nursing toddler during labor.

[sostinkinhappy]

My older son was 8 when the younger one was born (hospital delivery w/ a mid-wife). He wanted to be there with us, but wasn't sure about being "in the action" so to speak. My younger sister brought him to the hospital and hung out with him & helped keep him entertained/distracted during the times he wasn't in the room with us. It worked out really well for us - he didn't want to be in there during the pushing, but as soon as baby was out, he came in and was right there at my side along with hubby.

I delivered at very family friendly community hospital that was geared to accommodating other family members/children so that really helped make the event a little more manageable for all of us as well.

[MamaMonica]

Moved to Birth and Beyond

[npl]

I've always had help lined up so the kids stay home. For the birth of my second child, my ILs were staying with us to look after my oldest while we went to the hospital. For the birth of my third, a close friend stayed with the kids and another friend drove dd to school for me while the first friend looked after ds.
Not sure this time - we actually have family living nearby, and neighbours who have kids in the same school. Between all our friends and family, I think we'll be able to have the kids sleep in their own beds if we go in the night, and have plenty of options of places for them to go after school. I'm trying not to worry about it yet!

[Artichokie]

This is our issue, as well. We don't have any close like-minded friends and my family is 12 hours away. If we opt to have a #2 LO, I can't wrap my mind around what we'll do with our DD (currently 24 mo). It'll be a free-standing birthing center birth. Right now my DD nurses to sleep and at least once in the middle of the night, and to wake up. I have no clue how I would manage that while giving birth.

Originally Posted by Cativari

My kiddos are a lot younger then yours (2 and almost 4) but they'll be there at the delivery. The hospital I deliver at only requires a careperson (my DH) for the kids to be there. DD was there when DS was born and I hope things go well enough to have both kids there this time. It always helps to have a nursing toddler during labor.

Bolding mine. Why is this helpful? I am actually quite nervous about the prospect of dealing with a demanding nursing toddler while in labor.

[leafwood]

dd was younger, but my parents were on call to watch her. i checked myself out of the hospital after 20 hours so she only spent one night without me and my parents stayed at our house to minimize any change for her.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

You really want to know?
Baby #3:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1070759

Baby #2: grandparents came down from Oklahoma (we were in Texas at the time) and I was induced (due to water breaking--I called before they started the induction so they had time to drive, and it was during summer break)

In some ways, I was really considering a "convenience induction or c-section".

[Katsmamajama]

I sent my DD to a friend's house. Kind of coincidental, I had her DD at my house spending the night because my friend's DH had a boy scout event the next morning (and I didn't think I'd go into labor yet!), and at 5am I was dropping their DD off with mine! DD actually thought it was cool, because she got to tag along to the event.

[ProtoLawyer]

I'm wondering about this myself--we have my stepdaughter during the week during the summer, which means we'll have a 5/7 chance she'll be with us (and a not insignificant chance that I'll go into labor right when she's supposed to be picked up, 90 minutes round trip, from her mom).

She'll be going on 8. She will not be present for labor/delivery (planned hospital) unless I end up with a precipitous unplanned UC or something. (I'm pretty sure even if she was my biological child, I wouldn't want her there because I really don't want anyone other than my husband and medical providers there...but there's also that weirdness/potential for problems with her mom that comes from having a stepkid).

My parents live an hour away and may or may not be able to come up...her best friend goes to her grandparents out of state for the summer...based on historical precedent, her mom is NOT going to be helpful and just come get her/hang on to her until we can retrieve her ...so, yeah. We'll need to figure this out.

[Kirsten]

When dd2 was born (freestanding birth center), our dd1 (then four) stayed with my sister. When dd3 was born (at home), our dd1 and dd2 (then six and two), stayed overnight at the neighbor's house. I knew they were safe and happy. There is NO way I'd have been able to have nice, calm, natural births while worrying about them underfoot.

Originally Posted by MoreThanApplesauce

This is our issue, as well. We don't have any close like-minded friends and my family is 12 hours away. If we opt to have a #2 LO, I can't wrap my mind around what we'll do with our DD (currently 24 mo). It'll be a free-standing birthing center birth. Right now my DD nurses to sleep and at least once in the middle of the night, and to wake up. I have no clue how I would manage that while giving birth

Well, since you aren't pregnant yet, your dd will likely be at least three if not four when the next one comes along. When mine was that age, she was in a great co-op preschool with many kids she was super fond of with moms that I came to know quite well, as well as dd being comfortable with them as we were all at the co-op preschool together twice per week.

At four she also met two of her BFFs - who had moms that became my BFFs too. Either of those families could have taken her - but my sister was only a half hour away so she did. Also at four we started with a high school sitter that came highly recommended by a friend, and she could have kept her short term in a pinch. I also had friends who would have been happy to take her, and given that dd is outgoing/social, she would have been ok with that option too.

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer

My parents live an hour away and may or may not be able to come up...her best friend goes to her grandparents out of state for the summer...based on historical precedent, her mom is NOT going to be helpful.

Outside of serious health issues, I'd assume your parents would come to help? Does dsd have other friends she could stay with even if her best friend is out as an option? Bummer on the mom; I've read your other threads.

I don't think having like-minded philosophies is really important. A very dear friend who I trust IMPLICITLY with my kids is quite religious (I am atheist) but it doesn't really affect day-to-day, you know? I was raised in a family where you got spanked once in a while, but I babysat TONS and knew you didn't spank someone else's kid. If this is a person you trust, just ask that she doesn't (insert the BIG issues here) and let the little stuff go. If your kid has a fruit snack, the world won't stop spinning.

Whenever I come across the "what will I do with my kids when I give birth/have my wisdom teeth out/go on a job interview/etc", I am sad that there isn't anyone close enough (geographically and emotionally) to leave your kids with for a bit. If family isn't nearby, you create your own family of chosen friends. I think it is important for OUR emotional well-being as well as our kids' to have people around who care about us - a support system.

[Suzannah]

Originally Posted by Kirsten

Whenever I come across the "what will I do with my kids when I give birth/have my wisdom teeth out/go on a job interview/etc", I am sad that there isn't anyone close enough (geographically and emotionally) to leave your kids with for a bit. If family isn't nearby, you create your own family of chosen friends. I think it is important for OUR emotional well-being as well as our kids' to have people around who care about us - a support system.

I didn't start this b/c we have no options, even though family is not close by. I just wondered how everyone else handled it. I was induced for my first child and didn't have others, so I didn't have to worry about making plans or deciding what to do with another child, two dogs, a cat and two horses in an "emergency" situation (meaning, a naturally occurring, come-whenever-it-comes situation). I wouldn't necessarily make the above assumption of everyone on this thread.

[DeChRi]

My DD was 9 when my second was born. She came to the hospital with grandparents for a few hours while things were slow. Then they hung out in the waiting room, drove down the road for food, back to wait area, gift shop, etc. They hung out at the hospital mostly. After many hours she curled up with grandparents in the waiting room with a blanekt and crashed. DD2 came just after midnight and she came in right after.

This time she will be 11 and will probably to the same. DD2 will probably hang out for awhile and depending on length of labor and time of day, she will come and go to.

We are lucky, though, to have grandparents local and be in a town small enough to bebop back and forth within 10 min.