If you allow toy guns, at what age did you allow them?

[Biscuits & Gravy]

I'm not looking for answers from those who do not allow them. DH and I agree that we will allow them, and I'm looking for advice from others who do.

DS will be 4 in March and is very intrigued by "shooters". What he wants is a nerf gun. He has a ton of gift cards from Christmas, and I have a feeling that he is going to try to convince me to allow him to get one, but I don't know that he is old enough just yet.

When did you allow them? What are your rules when it comes to toy gun play?

[Needle in the Hay]

Probably at 4, though possibly 5 as I don't remember exactly. My policy was not to introduce them but to consider, with an open mind, toys my son expressed interest in having. He doesn't have a lot of toy guns, but he has one that came with a police set and a cowboy gun that came with a magazine. There is a 7-shooter nerf gun too, whereabouts presently unknown as someone at my parents' house hid it a couple of years ago! We are visiting now so I am going to look for it!

Although we allow toy guns, our son (age 8) doesn't play with them very much at all. He is much more into medieval weapons. He went through a fairly long phase of playing shooting games, but he used his fingers to shoot rather than using a toy prop.

I wouldn't go for one of those big nerf guns, given the age of your child, but if they make a smaller one that shoots one thing at a time, that could be fun for him. He may decide he likes other toys better anyway when it comes down to having to make the choice.

[kimellett]

DS (5.5) has some guns that came with his Pirate Lego's. Not thrilled by this, but he hasn't played violently with them yet. When the soldiers and the pirates have a battle, no one gets hurt, it's just a "competition" of sorts to see who gets the treasure. And both sides have guns...

[phoebemommy]

Oh yeah, we'll be dealing with this at some point. My 3 yo is interested in BB guns since he saw The Christmas Story. My thinking is, we can talk about toy guns as soon as I know for sure that he fully understands the seriousness of real guns. We have one (safely stowed) in the house, and they're not uncommon in our community, so it's important he understands them. I've told him he can get one when he's "bigger" and his dad has taught him all about them. I've also told him if he ever sees a gun, he doesn't touch it and comes to tell me. For now he's satisfied with that.

Though, if he somehow ended up with some kind of nerf gun or squirt gun, something very colorful and obviously different from a real gun, I'd probably see how it goes and decide on rules from there.

[SunshineSwirl]

We did at 3.5, for his Halloween costume. Even without the gun, he was and is using his fingers. I believe this is still too young, as he can't process the rules as he's playing and I have taken away his real toy gun, as well as his pretend (finger) toy guns, yes he does freak out when I do that!!! The only real rule we have is that he can't point the gun at anyone that doesn't have one too. No one else ever does, but he still shoots us, then it's taken away for a day. But this is the rule for all weapontry. This is our only rule with toy guns, because I am not against guns (was in the military, husband is police), but feel that a gun should only be drawn at a person in defense of another equal weapon.

[noobmom]

Sigh. DS (3 yo) got a toy rifle from the ILs for Christmas. I'm not thrilled, but DS likes it. The thing is huge, almost as tall as DS.

DH is the one setting the rules because, well, he's the one with gun experience. No pointing at people or pretending to shoot people. For some reason DH okayed pretending to shoot the cat--well, at least that's what DS told me, I guess I really ought to double-check with DH. LOL.

DH has also stated that as soon as DS gets a "real" gun (BB gun) then there will be no more toy guns in house. I like this rule a lot.

The toy rifle need to be put away when friends come over because I don't think I'll be able to enforce the "no pointing at people" rule otherwise. I'm okay with kids pretending to shoot each other with finger guns and whatnot, but this rifle is too large and realistic looking for me to be comfortable with pretend shooting people with it. Oh, did I mention it makes a realistic sound too?

I wouldn't be very strict about a Nerf gun. None of those are made to look like real guns right? That to me just seems more about having fun trying to hit each other. No different than a water gun or even playing dodge ball.

[Jessy1019]

They've been allowed since the kids wanted them . . . I think my son was the youngest to be interested, and he was 2.5 or so? We went to Disney World and he really wanted one of the Pirates of the Caribbean guns.

We don't really have any rules beyond not hitting anyone with the gun (goes for any other toy, too) and not shooting someone who doesn't want to be shot. The kids are growing up in a house with real guns, and they know that the rules for those are very different than the rules for toy guns.

[kristenok18]

I think ds received his first ones from his grandpa when he was 5 (and my nephew got them at the same time, and he was 3). Dn has always always shown an interest, ds not as much. We went ahead and allowed them, and used that as an opportunity to teach him about not aiming at people or animals, etc. Ds has always done pretty well, whereas dn was a little too young to understand and follow through.

I think if your ds is showing an interest, I don't see anything wrong with it. As long as you think he's ready to follow whatever rules you have (with the occasional slip-up). We had some targets, which helps when you have a toy gun that shoots an actual foam ball or dart.

[SeekingJoy]

B&G, we could put your DS and my DS in a huge field and let them blast each other.

More seriously, DH and I have been slowly adapting our stance on gun play as we try to balance DS' interests and need to work out good vs bad scenarios and our interests in a safe house. I could see Nerf and other totally play styled weapons (foam swords, shields, etc) entering our house this year at 4, but more realistic stuff will have to wait until he has better judgement.

Have you read this Mothering article, "Bang! Bang!"?

[Biscuits & Gravy]

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy

B&G, we could put your DS and my DS in a huge field and let them blast each other.

More seriously, DH and I have been slowly adapting our stance on gun play as we try to balance DS' interests and need to work out good vs bad scenarios and our interests in a safe house. I could see Nerf and other totally play styled weapons (foam swords, shields, etc) entering our house this year at 4, but more realistic stuff will have to wait until he has better judgement.

Have you read this Mothering article, "Bang! Bang!"?

LOL! I think I've forwarded this article to everyone else in our playgroup. I guess the topic has not come up between me and you yet, or else I would have sent it to you as well. Funny. It was suggested that maybe we should all read this book for discussion, and I'm thinking now that I'm on board with that idea.

[mistymama]

3-4 years old is when he got his first nerf gun.

Also if it makes anyone feel better - he was totally into guns and made everything into a weapon of sorts from ages 3-5. We didn't discourage it, just made some basic rules and let him play.

He's 7 now and has very little interest in guns. We do have a lazer tag set that we play as a family for fun, but rarely does he ever initiate gun play on his own.

Anyway OP, I think your son is old enough for a nerf gun and will probably enjoy it very much.

[Hedgehog Mtn]

I don't remember what age the kids first had them 3 or 5 maybe?

Our rule is "you don't point it at anyone not playing". If someone agrees to play whatever it is they are playing then it's okay.

I like the pp idea of real (bb) guns means the play guns go. Not sure how this would work around here since the boys tie a short and long Lincoln Logs together to make a gun if they can't find one or don't have enough for everyone or whatever.

[AndrewsMother]

Do water guns count? If so DS received his first at the age of three. If water guns do not count, he only has tiny Playmobil weapons. A friend gave him a nerf set at Christmas, and I was fine with the toy until I realized that the guns were semi-automatic weapons that required the transfer bar to be pulled back. That is too much, IMO. If it were a regular gun, or a foam shooter, or a rifle even I would not mind.

Now, I will probably wait until DS is five or older.

[SeekingJoy]

Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy

LOL! I think I've forwarded this article to everyone else in our playgroup. I guess the topic has not come up between me and you yet, or else I would have sent it to you as well. Funny. It was suggested that maybe we should all read this book for discussion, and I'm thinking now that I'm on board with that idea.

Let's read it! If nothing else, let's def chat!

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

We don't really have any rules beyond not hitting anyone with the gun (goes for any other toy, too) and not shooting someone who doesn't want to be shot. The kids are growing up in a house with real guns, and they know that the rules for those are very different than the rules for toy guns.

I find this approach better. We don't have real guns in our home, but I grew up with tons of them (everyone hunted). Toys guns and real guns aren't the same, and they just never were treated as two parts of one whole. Rules for toy guns weren't an "introduction" to rules for real guns, and I think that's a mistake.

As for toy guns, DS had one when he was about 2. I think my grandmother got it, but I can't remember. He never played with it, and it got purged. He hasn't asked for another one, but I'd let him get it if he did. (Or DD, for that matter.) Mostly they use fingers, bananas, etc. as guns. We do have several swords, and I actually like them much less. It seems someone always gets hurt, even when the play is innocuous. I did get 2 foam swords, which has cut down on it.

I don't really consider Nerf guns, especially the small ones, to be "guns." They're just so different - more of a shooter toy, yes, but when I think of policies for toy guns, I'm thinking more things that replicate guns, rather than just something brightly colored shooting out foam.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by SunshineSwirl

as well as his pretend (finger) toy guns, yes he does freak out when I do that!!!

I am ever-so-curious. How do you enforce this?

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy

B&G, we could put your DS and my DS in a huge field and let them blast each other.

More seriously, DH and I have been slowly adapting our stance on gun play as we try to balance DS' interests and need to work out good vs bad scenarios and our interests in a safe house. I could see Nerf and other totally play styled weapons (foam swords, shields, etc) entering our house this year at 4, but more realistic stuff will have to wait until he has better judgement.

Have you read this Mothering article, "Bang! Bang!"?

I love this article!! When I read it, I felt so much better about the fact that trying to stop gun play was a losing battle in my house. Anything, anything, anything could be turned into a gun, and since my dh is a law enforcement officer and a hunter, there was no way to shield them from guns in general.

[Momily]

Our rule has always been that I don't buy guns. It took him until about 7 for him to come to me and ask if that meant that he could spend his own money on guns to which I answered yes. He has bought one or two, and has a couple more that he got by telling his friends "my mom says you can give me a gun for my birthday" but he doesn't really play with them.

With guns, and violent video games (my rule there is that T games don't come in the house until you're a teenager, M until you're an adult, but I don't police what you play at other people's houses) he and I have regular conversations about the fact that he consistently shows me that he can handle them and that's why I allow them to the degree I do. We talk about the fact that he shows me with his behavior (he's a very non-violent kid) that he knows the difference between real and pretend and doesn't carry things over from one to the other.

[SunshineSwirl]

Originally Posted by BrandiRhoades

I am ever-so-curious. How do you enforce this?

His imagination is so wild, that I just tell him to give them to me, and I put my fingers as guns and then pretend holster them, saying he'll get them back later! Honest to God, he doesn't use his fingers as guns till he asks for them back and I give them!! Then of course, he'll put his fingers as guns as I stop doing it!

[Anastasiya]

Our rules are no pointing guns at people (the only guns they have are finger guns or toys they use like guns...even taking bites out of toast till it looks like a gun!).

They can shoot imaginary "scary bears", "bad dogs" and other random evil things, but they cannot shoot at people, or the gun play is over.