Questions from in-laws

[babygirlsmama]

I am sure lots of you mamas are getting stuff like this, what with the holidays and visiting with extended family and so on. Anyway, the other day we were having a Christmas call with my husband's dad's family. (His parents are divorced, and we were talking with his dad, his dad's wife and their children).

So my husband handed the phone to me to talk. His dad's wife was on the other end. Here's how the conversation went, exact words:

Her - "So, how's the baby?" (who is 9 weeks old, btw)
Me -- "She's great, she's growing so fast! She really takes after her dad too!"
Her -- (hemming and hawing a bit)...."So, are you giving her any real food yet, or is it just mommy food?"
Me -- "No, we're still breastfeeding exclusively."
Her -- "Is she up to date on all her immunizations? I have to ask because I'm just one of those people who asks." (um..what does that mean?)
Me -- " Um....she's not ready for those yet, that's coming up, we're talking to her pediatrican about that."
Me -- (changing subject) "So...what did the kids get for christmas?"

I swear this woman perplexes me. I tend to feel really mama-bear and protective about nursing issues, etc., and am probably on high alert for anyone who says anything remotely critical. What gets me is that she has said stuff like this before and she never really follows up with anything...she just makes these random comments or asks questions. (When our baby was 3 days old, she asked if the baby was sleeping through the night and suggested that the baby was waking up because she was hungry...and then implied to my husband that we should give formula or maybe even rice cereal...a three day old...can she be serious???)

So far, she has never said anything directly critical to me, just these questions. I suppose one possibility is that she is really supportive, or just curious, but I doubt it. My gut instinct is that for some crazy reason, she believes I should be feeding my 9-week old "real food," whatever that means. And don't even get me started on the vaccination issue...I seriously doubt she has a clue how complex that issue can be.

The funny thing is I have all kinds of tactful yet firm replies for anyone who might make critical comments...we just never get that far with her. I'm not overly concerned, she lives far away and I never really have to deal with her. Still, any suggestions or ideas from folks who have dealt with this sort of thing (Ie, indirect comments or questions), would be very welcome. Better to just ignore or address the issue head-on? Thanks!!

[Latte Mama]

Bean dip her, at every question you feel uncomfortable answering.

[lactatinggirl]

I've figured out that the best come back for situations like this is simply stating the facts. When she asks if you're giving her "real" food (what an awful term! My breast milk is the best food my baby will ever have and to imply it's not "real" is ludacris!) say that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding until they're 6 months. This also works well when people ask me (DD is 9 months) how long I'm going to keep breastfeeding. I just reply "AAP recommends AT LEAST a year, WHO recommends AT LEAST 2."

[lovebug]

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[3girls1boy]

Sometimes people are just trying to make conversation, that's all.

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Latte Mama

Bean dip her, at every question you feel uncomfortable answering.

"We're doing great, thanks for asking. Have you tried the bean dip?"

[Peace+Hope]

Originally Posted by lactatinggirl

I've figured out that the best come back for situations like this is simply stating the facts. When she asks if you're giving her "real" food (what an awful term! My breast milk is the best food my baby will ever have and to imply it's not "real" is ludacris!) say that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding until they're 6 months. This also works well when people ask me (DD is 9 months) how long I'm going to keep breastfeeding. I just reply "AAP recommends AT LEAST a year, WHO recommends AT LEAST 2."

that's what i plan on. my mom keeps "asking questions" of my sister (just had her first), and i find this works on her.

not sure whether she's "just" making conversation... since she's also making suggestions and/or implying you should be doing things differently. but, if you aren't threatened, stating facts is a great way to include her.