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BF'ing in front of family members - Page 2

post #21 of 47
I nurse in front of anyone and everyone. FWIW my MIL thinks it is odd and disgusting that I nurse my 24 mo old. She has directly told me so. And I have told her that I didn't ask her option and I don't care what it is. She can stick her option where the sun doesn't shine or she can just not see her grandkid anymore.
post #22 of 47
In someone else's house (ie the IL's) I go to another room. I always make a comment about how it's for the BABY's comfort, though, not theirs!

Out and about, I nurse as necessary, usually preferring a quieter, out-of-the-way bench because DD2 is a popper-off-er-and-a-lookie-loo.
post #23 of 47
I only left the room because I wanted space. If I wasnt in the mood to leave I did not. No one ever complained though I could tell they where uncomfy especially after the kids where over a year old. My brother got a bit uncomfy a time or 2 but not in a eww way. Just wasnt used to seeing my skin.

Out in public I usually ended up in the car but never left a store to go to one it just usually worked out that way since I nursed before leaving the house. I would never nurse in a nasty bathroom to many germs plus I dont want anyone getting the impression that nursing is something to be hidden especially my kids.
post #24 of 47
It's appaling that a baby having it's lunch/dinner/breakfast etc can be the cause of such stress for people who, when they see a woman's breast, they think sex.

I have to put up with bare topped men at the beach and even while out shopping during the summer months yet it's perfectly acceptable?

I fed my daughter at our table in a restaurant last night. I don't even think about it. She's hungry, I'm her mother, it's my job to feed her when SHE wants, not when it suits someone else. I wouldn't expect anyone to eat in the bathroom so my daughter certainly won't.
post #25 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadelbosque View Post
I've always just nursed infront of whoever, wherever I was. I've never, ever, ever nursed in a bathroom nor gone in a seperate room to nurse, unless baby was just WAY too distracted by gobs of people and kept popping off and looking around and smiling and then popping back on, rinse & repeat ad naseum... my boobs just don't appreciate that
I always hate it when I go in a separate room so she won't be distracted and I'm concerned people think it's because I'm trying to be discreet. And that's such a silly thing for me to worry about! lol
post #26 of 47
I must come from a weird family, not only did I pump at the table but my mother would manhandle my boob to try and get my son to latch on she would 'squish' and I would 'rapid arm movement' she would then hold a towel up to the other breast as it leaked over the baby as I nursed on the other side. I completely lost ALL inhibitions about my breats very soon after my son was born now, that WAS my mother, I wouldnt let my dad manhandle my breasts but I certainly wouldnt care AT ALL if he saw me nurse. If he (or anyother family member) didnt want to see, they know what they can do
post #27 of 47
I know my FIL is a little uncomfortable seeing me nurse, but he's never made me feel unwelcome or anything, so at his house I usually use a receiving blanket or something to cover my tummy, mostly to signal to him that it's time to go make coffee or something if he wants to duck out of the room. I don't cover ds's head, but nothing shows anyway. SIL's boyfriend gets really grossed out when I nurse and makes a big deal about it, so I make a point to nurse when he's in the room.
post #28 of 47
Just think of it as an education for your family!
I was the first to openly nurse in my DH's family. It was never anything I "announced" or discussed with anyone because it wasn't their business. I was taking care my baby's needs. I never moved to another room though my FIL often did when I started nursing.
My brother would make a big stink about it too but I just ignored him or turned it into a joking thing with him like "uh oh, here comes the boobs!" and he'd go running.

Well, 4 kids later and 10 yrs later nursing in front of my or my DH's family is not a big deal and no one even notices! I encouraged my SIL to nurse her 3 kids in front of the family too. Now it's just a normal thing, not an issue at all.
Even my once "boob phobic" brother now doesn't comment on it (except when he accidentally sits on one of my used nursing pads LOL)

I nursed my baby at the table during a meal with my FIL straight in front of me. When I was done and holding the baby up he asked, "weren't you going to feed her?" I said "I did!" and he didn't even notice. This type of thing is common now around our place.

So don't make a big deal about it, just do it. Don't ever apologize for it either-it's a normal function and people need get used to it.

Good luck.
post #29 of 47
my house i do not hide or cover.

other's houses i ask them what they prefer and if i'm asked to go to the other room, i announce what i'm doing

nip i only cover if dd is distracted or if she's having a hard time latching. i don't go to the bathroom and will not use a nursing room that is dirty to even change a diaper!
post #30 of 47
I don't cover up when my immediate family is present (mom, dad, brothers, sisters) but when other family is present I am very discreet, especially if the other family members are male. My mom breastfed 4 of her six kids.
post #31 of 47

I would try and be discrete* ie minimal skin showing if i could help it, no blanket covering up baby totally though.* while around family and in public, but at home no reason to.

I would not pump or use formula when you leave the house just because dh's opinion of NIP.


I'm still nursing my 3 yr old.


post #32 of 47
When my inlaws came to visit a week after DD was born, I told my DH beforehand to warn them that I would be nursing whenever, wherever, however I needed to. They came anyway, and my poor FIL had to sit in our living room in our tiny apartment, resolutely looking the other way, while I had my shirt hiked up to my neck and tucked under my chin, both boobs out, leaking and spraying everywhere, baby on and then off and then on, trying to get a good latch, holding her in one arm and my breast with the other hand, for the whole 30 minutes, until she finished. Lather, rinse, repeat every hour or two. Poor man.

Today, I nurse wherever we need to, although we usually do also try to find a quietish corner when possible.
post #33 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pirogi View Post
When my inlaws came to visit a week after DD was born, I told my DH beforehand to warn them that I would be nursing whenever, wherever, however I needed to. They came anyway, and my poor FIL had to sit in our living room in our tiny apartment, resolutely looking the other way, while I had my shirt hiked up to my neck and tucked under my chin, both boobs out, leaking and spraying everywhere, baby on and then off and then on, trying to get a good latch, holding her in one arm and my breast with the other hand, for the whole 30 minutes, until she finished. Lather, rinse, repeat every hour or two. Poor man.

Today, I nurse wherever we need to, although we usually do also try to find a quietish corner when possible.
that sounds like me, I remember the shirt-tucked-under-the-chin days trying to get DS to latch, milk spraying all over .... I have all that to look forward to again.
post #34 of 47
Later he looked at the baby and said something like "He's just sacked out, isn't it?" Ha! He had no idea I was nursing.


This sort of thing happens to me alot. I usually say "no, she's eating" - but most people dont even register it... they just go about their business!
post #35 of 47
I try to be discreet for my Dad's sake - I don't want him accidentally catching a glimpse of nipple & I'm pretty sure he doesn't want that either. I don't cover or anything - I just make sure as much skin is covered as my shirt will allow. I don't think he totally understands why DD 1 (24 months) is still nursing, but he's respectful enough not to say anything about it.
post #36 of 47
I nurse out the top of my my shirt or I unbutton, and as a last resort, from under my shirt. I feel totally comfortable nursing anywhere, anyhow I feel, because thats what breasts are for. I'm so tired of seeing breasts plastered up everywhere as sexual objects, but being expected to "nurse descreetly." They are just boobs, people! Could you imagine someone expecting a dog or horse to wear some sort blanket so that we aren't exposed to the vulgarity of its babies suckling? Or how ridiculous is would seem to see a cow wearing a bra that pushed its udder up so that it is more visible to passing bulls. lol. I think its time we reclaim our right to nurse the way WE feel most comfortable, not the way we feel most comfortable around person XYZ based on that persons opinions on what we are doing. Be strong, we are giving ourselves to our children and we should be proud!

Here's my nursing wedding pics lol...
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v3...tina_00072.jpg


http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v3...ina_000852.jpg
post #37 of 47
I leave the room. It's quieter for the baby, less anxiety-inducing for me, and (least important but also a plus) avoids making others uncomfortable.

Honestly I think that is just normal. My DH is from a developing nation where EVERYONE breastfeeds and his friends and relations always offer me a quiet room to nurse when it is obvious the baby is hungry. They assume we are nursing and assume we would like a little quiet personal space since it is available.

My mom and MIL both BF all their kids (I grew up in the US) and I think both of them would be pretty surprised if I started nursing in the living room in front of lots of relatives.

I think that militant NIP is a sort of extremist backlash to the destruction of the BF tradition in the modern West. I NIP discreetly when necessary but I don't make a point of it just to make a point.
post #38 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by mambera View Post

I think that militant NIP is a sort of extremist backlash to the destruction of the BF tradition in the modern West. I NIP discreetly when necessary but I don't make a point of it just to make a point.
Sadly, I think many think that "normal" NIP is "extreme" which is why we have so many issues in the west!

What the hell is "militant NIP" anyway? Walking around topless? That is the only extreme NIP I might not engage in but any other NIP is just taking care of a baby's need IMO-no extreme about it.
post #39 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnR33 View Post
Sadly, I think many think that "normal" NIP is "extreme" which is why we have so many issues in the west!

What the hell is "militant NIP" anyway? Walking around topless? That is the only extreme NIP I might not engage in but any other NIP is just taking care of a baby's need IMO-no extreme about it.
ita! there is this perception out there that bf'ers go out in public, boobs a swayin in the breeze just waiting to jump out on unsuspecting innocents and make them witness a nasty baby sucking on it's mother's sex toys.

i've seen more boobs at a baseball game than you'd ever see at a breastfeeding convention!

lol@ cow's wearing push up bras!
post #40 of 47
I was going to say I don't think I've ever seen anyone breastfeed "militantly" before! I've also never witnessed "extreme breastfeeding" but it sounds like it would make a good show lol... The pic I posted of my wedding kiss no one in our family even knew I was nursing. DS was about to lose it during the ceremony (we made him wear pants) and was asking for Boo's boos boos boos boos boos... he couldnt wait another second... luckily, I predicted that when I bought my dress! so he was nursing during the "you may now kiss the bride" part... I think its sweet He was still nursing when we signed the papers... I was so happy that the photographer didnt hesitate just because I was breastfeeding. Turned out he had a 6 mo baby himself...
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