potty training advice

[sarahr]

My dd is 3 yrs, 3 months. We've had potties around forever (it seems) and dd has never shown any interest in them. This week, we started potty training in earnest. She loves to sit on the potty and is very motivated by her sticker chart. But she appears to have no idea when she is about to pee or poop, and will do it just minutes after getting up from the potty or just feet away from the potty.

We've been doing this for 4 days and have had very minimal (and always coincidental) success. She's certainly not learning anything from peeing on the furniture and I'm getting sick of it.

At what point do we wait until later? (her preschool doesn't care at all, so we don't have any extrinsic deadlines). At what point do we talk to the doctor?

How long should we keep trying (and being essentially housebound) before we give up and try again later?

[Umpqua]

I'm a long-time lurker on these boards and was hoping someone would respond to your message. My DS is 3 yrs 1 month and we have also had potties around since he was around 9 months old. He was always willing to sit on the potty and we would occasionally catch something, but he never did it with any regularity. My attempts over the past 6 months were always met with whining and he would ask for a diaper instead of underpants. So I let it go.

We had our 3 year checkup with his pediatrician a few weeks ago, and I really respect her a lot, she's an MD and an osteopath FWIW. Anyway, I told her what's been going on and asked for her advice. She told me "tell him he's too old for diapers and he needs to wear underpants." That seemed harsh to me, but it was such basic common sense advice that I figured I'd give it a shot. She said there would be accidents and I should be prepared, but he would get the idea after a few days of wetting himself.

Anyway, I decided to give it a try. He squawked for the first couple of days, but he wore the underpants and began initiating his own bathroom visits. I was never abrupt about it at all. When he would ask for diapers, I would just explain that he's a big boy and other big kids wear underpants, so we're going to "try" wearing underpants for a while.

We're not quite 2 weeks in and he's basically staying dry during the day. I'm doing pullups at night (not quite ready to tackle that yet), but I don't do them during the day. He stayed dry at relatives' homes over the holiday and on store outings. And he's PROUD of his achievements.

Sorry for the novel, but I wanted to share. I'm sure this approach won't work for a lot of people, but I was shocked at our success. I've tried sticker charts, treats and all sorts of approaches to no avail. This worked for us, surprisingly.

Good luck to you!

[sarahr]

Originally Posted by Umpqua

Anyway, I decided to give it a try. He squawked for the first couple of days, but he wore the underpants and began initiating his own bathroom visits. I was never abrupt about it at all. When he would ask for diapers, I would just explain that he's a big boy and other big kids wear underpants, so we're going to "try" wearing underpants for a while.

We're not quite 2 weeks in and he's basically staying dry during the day. I'm doing pullups at night (not quite ready to tackle that yet), but I don't do them during the day. He stayed dry at relatives' homes over the holiday and on store outings. And he's PROUD of his achievements.

Thanks for your reply. That's essentially what we've been doing for the last week -- underwear on during the day, frequent encouragement to use the potty. The only time we've caught anything is when I see that she's about to poop and I whisk her to the potty. We've made no progress in her initiating it.

[Umpqua]

That's a tough one. We started in earnest on a Saturday, so we had 2 days of being home for him to catch on. After several times wetting his underpants he started to make the connection and make it to the potty on time. I would also ask him every hour or so as a reminder, but him wetting seems to be what actually made it click in his head.

Does she mind if she gets wet? Or will she continue whatever she's doing? Throughout all this I've been encouraging him to stay dry, but if he wets I don't make a fuss about it. I just tell him to try his best to stay dry next time and make it to the potty. Hopefully someone else will have better advice for you.