Which picture do I trust?

[moonglowmama]

HI Ladies,
I'm posting this here, even though we'll have a midwife with us at home, because her presence is more like that of a friend than anything, except of course she does all the clean up and lots of other goodies that go along with her care.

Anyway, I have these 2 images of this baby's birth (I'm 30 weeks). One is a peaceful waterbirth with my dh and I catching our baby together, with my children there and really with us in some way. It's a kind of awakening to joy for our family (I've had many losses).

The other is not so much a picture, but a fear-type thing in which I feel like I need to prepare myself for a trip to the hospital for a c/s. That scares the daylights out of me, honestly. I've had so many friends having c/s lately, that I almost wonder if anyone gives birth normally anymore. And, I've already had 3 really beautiful homebirths, so I have some sense of dread that maybe I'm at some sort of limit. That sounds so silly writing it out, but there it is.

I would appreciate any insight or objective advice you can offer. I value the internal dialogues and planning that happens to pregnant women, and I don't know what to do with that c/s stuff. Thanks!

[MeepyCat]

I think that sometimes, our subconscious minds fixate on the worst outcome as a form of contingency planning. The odds are that everything will be fine, but then there's this other scenario, for which you may also feel a need to be emotionally and practically prepared.

I would try not to fixate on it, but I also wouldn't stop myself from packing a go-bag in case of emergency, or checking in with your friend and midwife about what sorts of red flags would make her think you needed to transfer or needed a section. I, personally, feel much more comfortable when I feel like I have a plan B - having a bag packed and an emergency plan would help me relax a little.

[Astraia]

For me, my fear would take over and make me worry irrationally about things. I'd have to study it, research it, make plans and go over the possibilities in my head before my gut finally goes, "well, that was a ridiculous thing to worry about!" and I can let it go.

So make your plan, research your possibilities, come to peace with the chance that sometimes things go wrong, and then let that still small voice come through your fear and let your instincts (not your fears) take over.

That's what works for me, anyway!

[cathicog]

Yep, have a go-bag, but don't fixate. You will probably have a fine, fast birth. At least that's what I am praying for you anyway.Love them butterbirths! enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.