(XP to the childhood years)
The title pretty much says it all. We are SO upset that this is happening. Whenever DD begins to cry, he takes a quick swipe at her little bald head and often draws blood. DD has been quite high maintenance and clingy since birth and shrieks whenever we put her down in the swing/bouncer/floor, etc. We don't let her CIO, however. The crying is seemingly distressing for DS and he immediately lashes out at her. We have to watch him like a hawk to protect her....he is so fast. We don't spank, and he has NEVER shown any aggression toward anyone (in fact, quite the opposite!) so we have no idea where this is coming from.
He knows what he is doing is wrong, but he continues to do it...and it's unbelievably frustrating. He knows exactly what to say to appease us (e.g., "If I hit/scratch Molly, I have to go into time-out. It makes Mommy & Daddy sad when I hurt Molly. Hands are not for hitting, only for hugging.") Right now, the only recourse we have is to send him to time-out, but obviously, that isn't working. He really doesn't have any attachments to toys/TV/books or anything that we could take away as a punishment.
We have tried spending extra alone time with him, doing special things with him, etc. to no avail. We've tried role-playing what to do when he gets angry.
Can anyone offer any additional tips/tricks to curb this aggression/impulsive behavior? Please tell me it will get better. I'm at the end of my rope and so upset that my kids can't get along.
Thanks for reading.
The title pretty much says it all. We are SO upset that this is happening. Whenever DD begins to cry, he takes a quick swipe at her little bald head and often draws blood. DD has been quite high maintenance and clingy since birth and shrieks whenever we put her down in the swing/bouncer/floor, etc. We don't let her CIO, however. The crying is seemingly distressing for DS and he immediately lashes out at her. We have to watch him like a hawk to protect her....he is so fast. We don't spank, and he has NEVER shown any aggression toward anyone (in fact, quite the opposite!) so we have no idea where this is coming from.
He knows what he is doing is wrong, but he continues to do it...and it's unbelievably frustrating. He knows exactly what to say to appease us (e.g., "If I hit/scratch Molly, I have to go into time-out. It makes Mommy & Daddy sad when I hurt Molly. Hands are not for hitting, only for hugging.") Right now, the only recourse we have is to send him to time-out, but obviously, that isn't working. He really doesn't have any attachments to toys/TV/books or anything that we could take away as a punishment.
We have tried spending extra alone time with him, doing special things with him, etc. to no avail. We've tried role-playing what to do when he gets angry.
Can anyone offer any additional tips/tricks to curb this aggression/impulsive behavior? Please tell me it will get better. I'm at the end of my rope and so upset that my kids can't get along.
Thanks for reading.
I am so sorry. It will get better. I would encourage you to do more of the connecting if you can, spending time with him, making sure he knows you're there, baby him if he wants to do that, whatever. Anything to make sure he knows his needs will be met and you are there for him. And of course whatever you have to do to keep the baby safe so he can't get to her. Also, I would try to remove expectations right now. I firmly believe that more connection will help in the long run, but I wouldn't expect to see much right away, so don't give up on it if you aren't seeing results quickly. It's a long term process to meet a child's needs. You can't punish away his need for you and he will do whatever he has to do to get your attention *for his survival* - because that is what it boils down to. He needs to know that he will be ok even though there is a new baby now for you to take care of.
