Homeschooling as a single mom?

[alacrity]

I have managed to stay home with my daughter for 14 months now. It has been a struggle emotionally, physically, and financially. I am a single mom with no family support, mostly new friends, and no car. I offer care in my home for other children so I can stay home with my daughter. I make so little doing this that we can barely afford our tiny (very crappy) apartment.

My daughter is progressing so well with me that I cannot imagine sending her to a day care or a school but I just don't see how I could possibly do that without more income. We are currently living below the poverty line and I do not know how much longer I can struggle like this.

I am already getting burned out from having so many children in such a tiny space. My neighbors in the building do not like me having the kids here and my landlord is also not a huge fan either. I just don't see any other alternatives.

I would love to homeschool my daughter when she gets older but I just don't see myself doing that in this tiny apartment with lots of kids running around. Most days I spend most of my time with the other kids and by the time they leave I am exhausted and have to cook dinner and clean until the wee hours. So I spend very little time actually interacting with my daughter.

I worked professionally as a graphic designer before having my daughter but the field is so saturated that I never even hear of job opening muchless work at home opportunities for designers.

I am just looking for others who have been through something similar. I need some advice, encouragement, something!

Her father makes nearly 100K/year but child support enforcement is unhelpful and without a lawyer child support will not be an option. Over the past year I hoped for it because it would be life-changing but I know now that I was naive!

So any single momma homeschoolers? HELP!

[incorrigible]

Have you looked into a live in nanny gig? The economy is rough for those with more resources too. A lot of folks are leaning toward barter to take up the slack. If you post around cl, and put word out the people you DO know, you might be able to find someone that can't afford the childcare they need that is willing to trade a room in their home for it. I've been seeing a lot of that going on lately. If they have older kids, you might even benefit from nice pass me downs, further cutting your bills.

Also, if you have interest in homeschooling, it's not too early to join up with local homeschool groups and get to know the community. Homeschoolers are pretty notorious networkers and someone may be able to point you toward resources or options that aren't well known.

That makes me think. You were working in graphic design. What would you think about teaching it? If you have a degree, you could pitch the local community centers and such. Even without a degree, after school programs might be interested. And, even without an organization, you can offer private or class style just by making up your own flyers. Your local library should have a conference room you can use, and you can require students to bring their own computers (private lessons can be at their houses). When you take the reigns like that, you can just make your child part of the deal too. I've done all of the above when my 2 were younger. Now I live almost entirely in barter and don't do a lot of regular work or live much in the cash world. I have to say it took both a lot of work and luck to get to this point, though. I was totally alone and without help when mine were little like that too. It's not fair at all, but just snuggle her as much as you can when you are too tired for anything more. It will mean a lot to have at least had that in another 10 years.

[eccomama]

for now i would focus on getting yourself back on your feet before you start worrying about life down the road. it's a good goal to strive for but please focus on survival. i think you got some really good suggestions on what you can do with your experience, whether it's teaching graphic arts, a nanny gif or even bartering your skill for exchage for day care for your child.

also try to network with other single moms...

and most of all take one day at a time

good luck

[princesstutu]

You have at least four years to think about this. Patience, grasshopper!

I homeschooled 4 kids while attending school full-time. It drained me and I wouldn't recommend it, but I love homeschooling and being with my kids all the time (for the most part ). One kid is definitely more do-able, IMO, just give yourself time to get the other areas of your life straightened out.

Whatever you want in life, you can have. One step at a time, tho, eh?

[alacrity]

I don't think the issue is really her going to school. I guess it is more I don't want to ever send her to daycare and also probably not to school but it is hard when I am not making enough money to support us. So it isn't all about patience things just are not working right now so I worry about the long term.

[onyxravnos]

There are low income lawyers who take child support cases such as this, have you looked into it? it's a hassle but worth it.

Also full blown welfare only lasts for 5 years for a lifetime so really should be your last resort but there are lots of other help for low income families. Food stamps, medicaid, housing assistance, and some financial assistance for low income.
i don't know if you are already on these or how you feel about them but they are there to help you. You can use them to help you get back on your feet and that's okay.

I understand the want to be home with your children, i was a single mom for a long time too and also did the day care thing. Take it one day at a time, and use the resources available to you.

[alacrity]

Onyx, I am on food stamps. Without them I am not sure we'd be eating especially since I babysit here we have so many mouths to feed! It is harder to get the other resources as they told me I had through work training. It seems kind of silly with me having a degree and extensive professional background to be forced into a program that is all Intro to Resumes and Cigarette Breaks. They told me they could teach me a "new skill" like secretarial work or something. Essentially they will not help someone who already has skills but wants to stay at home. My case worker told me I needed to put my daughter in state aid day care and start looking for legitimate away from home jobs.

I have never heard of low income attorneys. I have been directed to Legal Aid but in Missouri they do not help out in child support cases because they consider the CSE workers your "attorney." They made a mistake on the paternal father's info and have him as unemployed and said they will not review it until 2012. I doubt they will fix it even then. I still have not collected a dime anyway. :/

[Theia]

I'm a totally solo parent. My DD is 2. I never wanted her to go to daycare even once. But now I realize I need a few hours to myself. So I am looking at putting her in care for 6-10hrs a week. Nothing major, but it will be enough for me to go to appointments alone, and maybe actually sit and relax alone with my own thoughts and a cup of warm comforting beverage. I need this time as does she. We don't have a support system of friends/family where we live (just moved) and while I LOVE being a full time mom I think it will be healthy for both of us to have small bits of time apart. I'm thinking only 2-3 hours 2-3 days per week. I don't work so I am with DD all the time. And if you have found a way to stay home for this long, I'm sure you can continue to do so for as long as you want, you just have to find your way. A PP mentioned that welfare is limited to 5 years, but I think in some states it is for more than 5 years as long as you have a child under the age of 5.

I know that homeschooling my DD is something I will be able to do as a single, low income mother. I have a Sec8 voucher which is a huge relief. And the apartment complex I live in is only a few years old, is in a safe neighborhood, close to shopping, etc. So I would focus on getting into the programs that will help you achieve your longterm goal of homeschooling. Do you have any hobbies that you could use to supplement your income? I get what your saying about longterm thinking when you're just barely scrapping by as it is.

Good luck!

[Pariah]

I am trying to figure this out as well. Next September my DS should be going to pre-school and right now I'm working almost full-time, trying to figure out how I can make some money from home to homeschool and be with him. Lately everyone is coming down on me to give up the idea of homeschooling and "just put him in public school, he'll be fine."

[alacrity]

Theia, I know this sounds ridiculous but I envy you and your section 8 voucher!! The list here has been closed for a long time and the wait once they open it is a couple years. I call all the time and every time they say it is still closed. I wish I could just get on it even if it meant waiting a couple years for the help!

I also do not have the family support. I pretty much entirely changed friends once I got pregnant, too, so I totally understand. It can be hard with no break. I tried taking a class recently but I could not afford the sitter and the train rides to class. I was also exhausted since I baby sit for about 11 hours a day 4-5 days a week. I am so burned out. I look like heck most days.

Pariah, I try to remind myself not to talk to people about my "plan" unless they are of a similar mindset. Most parents not only do not understand but they disagree. Many people think homeschooling is horrible for kids. I get crap from people I know all the time for not sending dagny to day care. She is only 14 months and still nurses all day and if I can get away with NOT sending her why should I? So really I just stopped talking to people about things.

If I had a house this home day care thing would be fantastic but trying to do it out of an apartment building (that had lead paint, still has mold, a creepy landlord, and other horrible tenants) is so stressful.

I hope you can figure something out. I hate to so great parents struggle about things like this that most parents blow off.

[Theia]

Originally Posted by alacrity

Onyx, I am on food stamps. Without them I am not sure we'd be eating especially since I babysit here we have so many mouths to feed! It is harder to get the other resources as they told me I had through work training. It seems kind of silly with me having a degree and extensive professional background to be forced into a program that is all Intro to Resumes and Cigarette Breaks. They told me they could teach me a "new skill" like secretarial work or something. Essentially they will not help someone who already has skills but wants to stay at home. My case worker told me I needed to put my daughter in state aid day care and start looking for legitimate away from home jobs.

I have never heard of low income attorneys. I have been directed to Legal Aid but in Missouri they do not help out in child support cases because they consider the CSE workers your "attorney." They made a mistake on the paternal father's info and have him as unemployed and said they will not review it until 2012. I doubt they will fix it even then. I still have not collected a dime anyway. :/

If I were in this situation I'd make a lot of noise with my CSE worker. If/when they say they can't help you, I'd go up the chain of command until someone helped. I've not had to deal with them personally, but have watched good friends struggle with getting the CS they are due. So I know it's not easy or even as simple as a phone call. But if this person is supposed to be your advocate, you are paying for their wage with your taxes, so push for them to advocate for you. You could also consider taking your DC's father to court to get CS established and even have it set up that he pays all court/attorney fee's due to his lack of supporting his child. If CS is something you are willing to pursue then I wouldn't wait until 2012. How annoying, I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with that.

And I'm sorry that you envy my Sec8 and aren't able to get on the list in your area. When I was in the HA office getting my voucher they were serving applicants from Sept 2003. So I get your pain there. Do they have any subsidized housing in your area? Sec42 I think. I know there is usually a wait list for HUD (HUD housing apartment complexes) and Sec42 housing, but lists can suddenly move quickly. Sorry if I'm suggesting things you already have checked, I just got really lucky in my housing situation so I'm generally hopeful that things can work out.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with all of this. I hope something works out better for you soon.

[alacrity]

Earlier this year they actually stopped assigning case workers. So now it is just a general number to call and no one is in charge of my case anymore. I call and call and they all blow me off. I spoke to a supervisor once and she also blew me off. It is so frustrating. Attorneys make you pay up front for CSE cases unfortunately. They all ask for a $1000 retainer then you pay them monthly. They can ask that the father pay me back but they will not hold off on charging me.

I have never heard of section 42. I am going to look it up. I call our Housing Authority regularly. Every time they say sorry nothing here. It is weird how all my life I have heard about people living off the system and I have always worked by butt off but when I have a need there is nothing there. It is not like I am trying to collect so I can sit home and drink or something. I know plenty of people who get away with that, too.

I am so envious of people with money and I don't want to be that way. I think that is a personal growth thing I need to work on.

[crayon]

There are a TON of websites out there for freelance work. My husband is a web software designer and we own our own business and we contract with graphic designers often. For my company we just paid a high school girl in town to do graphics for our instructions $200.

If I were you I would make a portfolio with all your best graphic work and make a bunch of copies and take them to every web design place and every graphic design place. Tell them you work freelance and that you would be happy to quote them prices per job. Then start hitting business owners that have REALLY BAD logo/graphics. Example most real estate offices! yuck.

Also check with your news paper- we are friends with our local news paper ad sales guy and he said that they spend so much time with layouts because real estate offices just send them the MLS# and no pictures or info so they have to find all the info and then lay it out- what if you could do that middle step.

You can PM me for more ideas- we have not worked for anyone for 10 years and we homeschool 2 little kiddos. So it can be done!

[Pariah]

I've tried the graphics work from home thing...that's what I have my degree in...and so far it has been a joke for me (and everyone else I know who has tried to do it). People expect a logo to be made for $25, or "a reference, and gee, you'll get some portfolio material out of it too!" Since any high school kid with 10 minutes of time can steal a copy of Photoshop and/or Illustrator, it is possible to get a semi decent, basic logo done for nothing when a small business owner throws an ad up on craigslist. Why would they pay a professional a fair price when they can do that? I've approached people with terrible logos, web sites, etc. before and I usually get resopnses along the lines of "Yeah, we know it sucks, but my employee's son did it for free/nearly free and you'd charge too much anyway since you actually do this for a living. It works okay for us, so..."

I don't doubt you're successful with it, you obviously know something I don't! I got that degree with the intention of being self employed and so far it has been a huge failure due to the above scenarios and a severely oversaturated market. Most people I went to school with have since gone back for different degrees or are in other lines of work.

[alacrity]

pariah,

I have the same experience of total failure working from home. Well... I have had a few jobs but nothing recently. Everyone wants graphic designers to work for nothing though. I think they don't realize it doesn't take 15 seconds to put together a logo or a brochure and sure isn't $25 worth 400 changes? Gah. I know exactly what you mean.

I worked for years as a designer and although I was not paid well according to the field I would KILL for $20/hour plus overtime now. <-- that emoticon can be used for kill, too, yes? hehe.

My city is saturated to the teeth with designers and high school students ready to work for peanuts. It is so frustrating. Our city is also saturated with ugly design that makes me wanna barf. It hurts my heart to see ugly things floating all over the city and knowing someone got paid for that nonsense.

[DaughterOfKali]

I homeschool out of medical (ds's) necessity. Money is extremely tight but I do things on the side (work at home) to bring in some extra money. Feel free to pm me.

[One_Girl]

I think you should e-mail your governor and your legislature and make a complaint about how ineffective the child support enforcement agency is in your state. Let them know that your husband was incorrectly listed as unemployed when he is actually making 100K and tell them about your struggles to get any enforcement. I have found that when you contact a government official about something that should be running somewhat smoothly they tend to pull strings and get it running for you.