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What do you NOT like about homeschooling? - Page 3

post #41 of 76
Well, I thought teaching my son to read really sucked. It was truly miserable sometimes. I am so happy to be past that, and while PS would have passed the problem onto a teacher, he still would have fought reading and I would have dealt with the fallout anyway. Now, it's math. For the past 3-4 weeks, the very idea of working on his math depresses me. I love him, I love homeschooling him, I love all of the fun stuff...but sometimes I just want him to WANT to learn something that he needs to learn so we can move on to the fun stuff that builds off of the basics. Instead, he sits there, not listening. The not listening is driving me insane. I just remind myself that he can't be seven years old forever... I'm giving him a choice for 3rd grade (we decided this long ago) and there is a part of me that hopes he decides to go to school. I think it's made harder because I can't complain about it in real life - if I did, it would be used in 'well, send him to school where he belongs!' comments for-freaking-ever and I'm not in the mood. I wish I could admit to the bad moments without a 'well, you put yourself in this situation' attitude coming back at me.

Don't get me wrong - it hasn't been all flowers and sunshine, but the fantastic way outweighs the terrible! I just happen to be a bad spot right now Luckily my daughter loves everything about learning and has been easy-peasy. If I had 2 that simply didn't care (which is DS's largest issue), I think I would send them to school.
post #42 of 76
The number one thing I don't like about homeschooling is feeling like an outsider when it comes to the general population. Sports teams, neighborhood parties, etc. It might just be my own paranoia, but I feel like once they ask me where my kids go to school, and I tell them we hs, then they decide we have nothing else in common, and they move on. I always want to say "We homeschool, but I'm really a very normal person." In fact, I have said that before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by annethcz View Post
7. Socialization/friends. Yes- REALLY! I've found that my kids have been able to make closer friends with the children they see on a daily basis at school. It's been much harder for my kids to make good, tight friendships with children they see once a week for only a few hours at a HS group. The quality of the relationships just aren't the same. (and since we live in the country and I have 4 kids, driving a long way to facilitate a playdate for one child just doesn't work well for our family)
I would be the first one to debunk the socialization myth - ds1 is a super outgoing kid, talks to anyone and everyone, is charming and funny and super involved and interested in the world around him and makes friends easily. However, I have found the above to be true. He has lots of friends, he plays and learns with lots of other kids constantly, but finding a "best friend" has been very difficult. He craves a level of social stimulation that I find difficult to provide for him. He wants to see friends every day. It is for this reason alone that he may be going to school for the first time (4th grade) next fall. He is asking for it, and I am beginning to realize that it might be time for him to give it a try.

This is certainly not the case for all kids. I know other homeschoolers who have their best friends. But it just hasn't worked for us. It seems we can never get schedules to align so that he can have the amount of playdates that he wants.
post #43 of 76
Mostly I don't like the ignorant comments/judgments I get from people.

I can't think of anything else I don't like about it.
post #44 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigeresse View Post
Although his circle is growing, he says that he wishes he had gone to high school. He says that although he knew he could go if he wanted, he was intimidated by the idea and felt he could not handle it and so chose not to go.

Now I see a similar pattern in my 14yo. Not a whole lot of social stuff going on and a fair amount of boredom.
YES!

My 17yo is a homebody and is satisfied with just a little bit of social time. But my 14yo is bored, and I think part of him wants to go to high school but (as you said) he's intimidated. I can't blame him....we live in a city with rough schools.

There ARE social opportunities for homeschooled teens around here, but they unfortunately always seem to meet while I'm at work. My boys have a small circle of friends that we see once a week or so, when all of our schedules coincide. And there are a couple of neighborhood kids that DS2 hangs out with....his BFF lives about 1.5 miles away, so they get together often enough. I just know he would like more.
post #45 of 76
That nobody thinks I'm doing it right. People IRL think it's weird anyway and then worry that we don't do enough "schooly" stuff. I try to talk to people online and everyone acts like I'm pushing him too hard, just because he's not quite K age but advanced. So the whole 3 hours a week HS'ing my kid is either not enough or too much and I'm either going to raise an uneducated kid or one who hates me for pushing him too hard. I'm still trying to find "my people"....the ones who will understand and realize I'm just trying to do my best and help me out with frustrating situations without saying "You're not being hard enough on him" or "back off, he's *only* 5"! Well, last time I checked, pre-schoolers only work for about 3 hours a week and "*only* 5" sounds ridiculous, because that's when other kids start school! Some for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week!
post #46 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
That nobody thinks I'm doing it right. People IRL think it's weird anyway and then worry that we don't do enough "schooly" stuff. I try to talk to people online and everyone acts like I'm pushing him too hard, just because he's not quite K age but advanced. So the whole 3 hours a week HS'ing my kid is either not enough or too much and I'm either going to raise an uneducated kid or one who hates me for pushing him too hard. I'm still trying to find "my people"....the ones who will understand and realize I'm just trying to do my best and help me out with frustrating situations without saying "You're not being hard enough on him" or "back off, he's *only* 5"! Well, last time I checked, pre-schoolers only work for about 3 hours a week and "*only* 5" sounds ridiculous, because that's when other kids start school! Some for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week!
I hear that. Sometimes I feel like if people knew how little time we actually spend on schooly stuff, they would think I was negligent. But then we get the comments about her needing time to be a kid! Just because she gets concepts quickly doesn't mean that we're not doing enough. I really can't get more than an hour (usually less) with her on the focused stuff right now (but we're coming off winter break)--that's not counting art and music, and PE-type activities. But I can't imagine how miserable she'd be if she were in school 6-8 hrs a day, when I see her eyes glazing over after an hour with breaks and snack.
post #47 of 76
I am pretty sure all of my dislikes have already been mentioned.

-The people who want to quiz my children. Especially family members. My child may not know everything you feel they should at this grade level, but in other ways they know a whole lot more.

- Comments about how smart my kids are and that I am holding them back by homeschooling them.

- How stressful it is when you do not find a good match of curiculum with your child, but it is amazing how wonderful it is when you find what works for them.

Even with these complaints, I love to homeschool.
post #48 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by annethcz View Post
7. Socialization/friends. Yes- REALLY! I've found that my kids have been able to make closer friends with the children they see on a daily basis at school. It's been much harder for my kids to make good, tight friendships with children they see once a week for only a few hours at a HS group. The quality of the relationships just aren't the same.
This is our second year homeschooling and we are finding this to be true as well. My oldest is considering going to school next year for 7th grade for the simple reason that he wants more local friends. He has a couple of friends from when he was in school that he is still tight with and he has a fair share of homeschooling friends. But, there is something about the shared daily experience of being in school together that makes a tighter bond.

He is quite torn about the decision. He loves homeschooling. The freedom, the cool stuff we do, but he is craving something that he is not getting at home.
post #49 of 76
My daughter just started K this fall. The biggest social set back we found after having a great summer of neighborhood friendships, was the lack of friends when she is done with school because they are still at school, and then when they get home, they have to do homework and not too long later the sun is going down (gets worse in winter). So those great friendships were only good in the summer time. And while my daughter is still young, she is craving consistent friendships (not just once a week with 3 different groups), and I can't give that to her with a pre-schooler that doesn't want to play dolls with any other girls and a 13 month old that still naps quite a bit. And my husband is talking about moving. While typically moving messes everyone up no matter the school setting, I am worrying that homeschooling will cause us to take longer, than if she were forced to make friends to survive in standard schooling.

As for the school itself, we too butt heads. The problem with us is that we are similar in personalities (stubborn, hard headed), but learning is completely oppposite. We just purchased new curriculum (not cheap to have to shell out money twice in one year to hope it fits your child), so hopefully we should do better. And then again, little ones under foot that don't help get the good one on one done! I love everything else about homeschooling, but if things don't change after 1st grade, we will be reevaluting sending her to the "school building" (as we call it around here).
post #50 of 76
It's really difficult to fit everything in with their school and my work. There are lots of social opportunities that we have to miss since I work three days a week (and more).

Ds would rather see kids every day, or at least several days a week. It's not as important to dd, but she does tell me that she would like to see friends more often.

Like others have mentioned, it's hard to swim against the current. Most of my family either disapproves or just thinks we're odd.
post #51 of 76
I spend a good amount of time driving, and I'm in a big city. Traffic. There are so many opportunities and things to do and homeschooling in the city is much easier than in a small town, so I will take the driving any day over not having much to do. I am moving from a small town to the 4th largest city in the US.

For those of you who have a hard time with housework, try Flylady. It's all about baby steps, but some of her ideas can help manage your housework. Like doing 1 load of laundry a day. Buy a laundry sorter, keep it in your laundry room (or wherever it fits) and have your family members put their clothes in the correct slot. When one slot is full, you do that load. If you do one load a day, you can keep up with your laundry where it doesn't seem to overwhelm you. I have 3 kids 6, 3 & 2. My two youngest give me the shoveling during a snow storm feeling. It's hard to keep up with their messes. But keeping up with the laundry and the dishes (meaning dealing with a dirty dish right away) has made some housework more manageable.

If you have a YMCA and can afford the monthly fee, JOIN IT just for the childcare. You can get a break from your kids and can work out. This solves the overwhelmingness of being with your kids 24/7 with no breaks. It's a win/win for everyone. It is a blessing. The small town I live in doesn't have one, but the city we are moving to has many. They also have homeschool P.E. classes that I put my 6YO in. This MAKES me go to the Y and workout. That is the easy answer to getting a needed break from your kids when you need it...and they need it too.

I didn't like the comments from some of my friends about homeschooling and their judgments, but I believe negative comments from friends and peers come from their own insecurities of their own choices. They put you down to bring them up.

Sometimes it can be hard to get lessons in with all the running around we do. And my 3YO has therapy I have to take him to twice a week, but I use his therapy time for homeschooling time, so it works out well. We are living in limbo (in a hotel during the week until our house sells), so it can be challenging. If we were in a consistent place, it would be better (schedule would be more routine). My husband and I share a vehicle during the week, so this is a challenge in its own way. My kids spend a lot of time napping in the car-their nap times are messed up living in a hotel. Life is a little crazy right now, but we are having fun. I would take the crazy city life and inconvenience of the hotel over being in the small town with not a lot to do and being bored at home trying to keep up with the tornado destruction caused by my 2 & 3YO. LOL!

Good luck.
post #52 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigeresse View Post
I would say that unless you're involved in a religious group or well populated area finding social opportunities and friends for kids becomes quite a challenge when the kids get older. Even if you have established a strong network when they're young often people move away or go back to school. You can meet others at conferences and the like, but then they're far away. Sometimes homeschool co-operatives and groups can become clique-y too.
This is why I stopped HSing. It was such an isolating exp. All of my friends decided to send their kids to preschool and if we met anyone for playdates, all of the children were younger than my oldest. He wasn't able to play with any kids his own age, b/c they were all at school. There are no secular or inclusive HSing groups in our area, b/c it is THAT religious where we live. So, already we don't fit in b/c we aren't fundies and politically conservative, being a secular HSer made us a freak of nature around here. My kids are going to school and doing ok right now. If I need to HS later on, I will. I have a few friends who are considering HSing who would be a good support, but for now if I was still secularly HSIng, I would be like the only person in our area doing it. I've looked high and low for other secular HSers in our area and they don't seem to exisit...

Oh and no me time was a biggie too. The house was a disaster too.
post #53 of 76
The house disaster has improved as the kids get older because they have fewer toys with small parts all over the place and also are old enough to do more chores and clean up after themselves, make their own sandwiches for lunch etc.
post #54 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaMonica View Post
The house disaster has improved as the kids get older because they have fewer toys with small parts all over the place and also are old enough to do more chores and clean up after themselves, make their own sandwiches for lunch etc.
I would embrace you with vigor if you were next to me. That glimmer of light on the horizon may keep me sane.
post #55 of 76
There were days that I wished I had the free babysitting that school would provide, but I recently took care of that by joining the YMCA, where I get up to two hours of free childcare a day (as long as I'm in the building). It's even better than school, because it's more fun for the kids and they'll watch my little kids too. I get to go work out, read a book, drink tea. I think I love the Y.
post #56 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
I would embrace you with vigor if you were next to me. That glimmer of light on the horizon may keep me sane.
OMG yes, totally!
post #57 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancoda View Post
I am pretty sure all of my dislikes have already been mentioned.

- Comments about how smart my kids are and that I am holding them back by homeschooling them.

Even with these complaints, I love to homeschool.
See, to me, that doesn't make sense. I would think if they are that smart, then school would be holding them back and HS would be unlimited for them. That's how I see it for my kids.
post #58 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
There were days that I wished I had the free babysitting that school would provide, but I recently took care of that by joining the YMCA, where I get up to two hours of free childcare a day (as long as I'm in the building). It's even better than school, because it's more fun for the kids and they'll watch my little kids too. I get to go work out, read a book, drink tea. I think I love the Y.
Does your Y have special homeschool babysitting? The Y that I go to has babysitting up to age 6, and then up until age 12 on vacation days and holidays. But I assume there isn't enough demand for it on days when school is in session.
post #59 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancoda View Post

- How stressful it is when you do not find a good match of curiculum with your child, but it is amazing how wonderful it is when you find what works for them.
What math are you using?
post #60 of 76
1) Not having alone time or a regular, "built in" babysitter. Makes doing things *I* need to do for me (ie. going to the dentist) hard.

2) Keeping the house clean, housework. So hard to do when the kids are ALWAYS in the house (and the times they aren't, I am not either). It's impossible, and they are always making messes

3) paper...we go through so much paper. The kids are always grabbing paper to draw or write, etc.

4) Birthday parties. I feel like for any parties we have, I need to invite ALL the children in a family (since we know the entire family and hang out with all of them) instead of just the one child my daughter really plays with. Makes things more "complicated" when planning.
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