Siblings co-sleeping safely

[SundayCrepes]

We co-sleep with our 4 year old and our 16 month old. I sleep between them to keep them separated and safe (and to nurse each of them.) My son is asking if they can sleep side by side. At what age does it become safe for siblings to sleep next to each other?

[bobandjess99]

About 10 months ago, lol
i think the answer will vary from person to person, but in general, I think most people are going to agree that by a year, it's very safe. I personally think it's about 6-9 months. What I want is for baby to have developed complete head control, be able to roll over/away from someone else, to be able to cry/yell if they are being injured or smushed, etc. Also, regardless of what you believe causes SIDS, etc, the risk plummets after 6 months.
There might be a small percentage of the time I would want a child to be a fll 12-18 months before co-sleeping with a sibling, and a few instances in which, depending on the personailty of the sibling, I woudl not want them to cosleep next to each other at all, but in general, with healthy children, I'd say you've already waited twice as long as you "needed" to.
My kids co sleep next to each other, dd is 5 and ds just turned 2, and they have since ds was about 6 months.

[noobmom]

The concern with co-sleeping is suffocation, not SIDS. So, my criteria are based on size and weight of the two children. Fact is, toddlers sleep like the dead and a baby isn't going to be strong enough to push a heavy toddler off of themselves anymore than they could push an adult off. Add to that that most toddlers have very little awareness of their surroundings while asleep. So, I tend to think a little conservatively about it--I'd wait closer to a year. But really it depends on the relative size of the two kids...a smaller, lighter toddler I'd be more comfortable with sooner, esp if the baby was on the bigger side. Also, depends on the size of the bed. I wouldn't want to squeeze two kids between DH and I on a queen bed. It's just too little space to give them each enough room.

[LianneM]

Totally depends on how they each sleep. DS is almost 5, and DD is 18mo. He sleeps deeply so I haven't let him sleep next to her much yet, unless he moves near her during the night and stays near her feet. She wakes very easily, though, so even though I feel like it's probably safe enough (she'd wake up if he laid on her or something) I don't do it b/c I don't want him waking her up. I think for us, within the next 6 months they will be sharing a bed (hopefully the one next to ours, so I can have some space again! )

[alegna]

I let mine sleep side by side around 7 months (for baby, 4.5yrs for big girl)

-Angela

[SundayCrepes]

It still doesn't feel like it's time yet for us to let them sleep next to each other, but I'm glad to read that we're probably safe if we do.

Actually, my big delay is night nursing. It's so much easier to roll over and let either kid nurse than have to climb over each other. When my son weans (hopefully before his 5th birthday) then we can change our current line up of alternating kids and adults to kids on one side of the bed, grownups on the other side, with me and nursling being in the middle next to each other.

Thanks for everyone's feedback.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by noobmom

. Fact is, toddlers sleep like the dead and a baby isn't going to be strong enough to push a heavy toddler off of themselves anymore than they could push an adult off. Add to that that most toddlers have very little awareness of their surroundings while asleep. .

Where do you buy your toddlers? Cuz i want one

My kids do not, and never have, slept well. They wake very frequently, with (or seemingly withOUT) the tiniest provocation. I swear they hear air molecules moving around and wake up. i suppose, if I had one of these mythical "sleep like the dead" toddlers, I might reconsider my plans.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by noobmom

The concern with co-sleeping is suffocation, not SIDS. .

Just to clarfiy, what I meant by mentioning SIDS was that the baby might die due to actual SIDS, and if you had them next to each other, you might always wonder if the odler child somehow did something, and there might even be CPS or police involvement in the death, as opposed to if the child had died of SIDS while sleeping alone/apart from the older child. I wasn't insinuating an older child in the bed could cause SIDS.