Obsession

[cattmom]

Can anyone tell me if my 3.5 year old's behavior is typical? She has become obsessed with ballet and skating (which is fun and easy for us to indulge) and we picked up some second hand ballet and skating dresses for next to nothing when she spied them in a bin at a big rummage sale. But now she only wants to wear them, ever, everyplace. She doesn't want to wear a coat or jacket, even when it is literally freezing outside. The sleeves on one dress are long and she has to have them rolled up or down to just the right length. The tights must be unwrinkled. The sleeves must be over the wrists of the gloves or under the wrists of the gloves. She wants to change into different tights or a different dress two or three times a day. We're getting big tantrums over this stuff, and it is a surprise, because in nearly every other facet of life (food, sleep, etc) she has been very easy going. Is this normal? How should I handle it? At times, I have been tempted to take all this stuff away, because she just seems so tense and knotted up about it.

ETA: lest you think she's getting this from me - I wear jeans, sweater and zero makeup every day.

[meemee]

v. v. v. common.

multiple dress change, multiple layers v. v. common for that age. or the opposite - wearing just that one outfit day in and day out.

i noticed also that was the age when sensory things became elevated for dd. like the rolling of the sleeves, the wrinkles must be out kinda thing. i recall my dd could not STAND sleeves to be rolled up. they had to be rolled down - and neither could one be short and the other slightly long. around 5 all of the particulars went away.

this is a phase. it too shall pass.

i really gave my dd free reign at that time. i knew no other way to 'control' it. she has worn jackets at 110 degree temperature and shorts and tshirt at 40 degrees. as long as she didnt appear too flushed or showed blue around her lips or fingertips - i just let her be. she never really went to that extreme.

[eepster]

Sounds pretty normal to me, says the woman who sent her 3 1/2 yo to preschool wearing socks on his hands one day . He also had quite a tempertantrum the other day b/c we were all out of clean choo-choo train shirts.

DS tends to be more reasonable about these things with other people than me.

He also enjoys wearing clothes that match his stuffed animal. I knit his stuffed bunny a miniature version of the hat I knit for DS, but with ear holes. DS never refuses to wear his winter hat when Mr Rabbit is wearing his too.

Can you get some pretty ballerina sweaters? http://www.whateverybabyneeds.com/sa...dler-girl.html
http://www.whateverybabyneeds.com/sa...g-sweater.html

[cattmom]

Thanks you guys. It is reassuring that it is a stage rather than the beginning of obsessive compulsive disorder. But it affects so many things. On the long cold walk home tonight i let her choose whether to carry or wear her puffy down jacket. First, she wanted me to carry it, but my hands were already too full. So she carried it, because she wanted everyone to see her tiny sleeveless ballet dress with its twirling skirt, and her tights. She was willing to wear gloves, but kept pulling them off and adjusting them, and one point making us miss the crosswalk light. At bedtime, when her father made her stop ballet dancing and get in bed, she actually bit him (followed by a tear-filled tantrum in which she repeatedly explained that she "needed" to dance all the time and he was "bad" to make her stop.) All of this is so completely, completely unlike her (and the biting is completely unacceptable in our house).

Those ballerina sweaters are very nice! And the sale prices look a lot better than full retail. We could give that a try.

[deditus]

IDK if it's normal, but it sounds exactly like my 3.5 yo dd!

[KMK_Mama]

Totally normal. My DS is almost 4 and he is OBSESSED with quite a few things....for a while he would throw a FIT if we couldn't find his Superman cape to sleep with. Now he just talks about hunting and guns (all things I was trying to avoid but that's what Daddy is into) all. the. time. He never stops.

[newmoon2000]

My 3.5yo twins are the opposite. Their obsession is nudity. S is particularly insistent on remaining unclothed. I can't get him to wear ANYTHING. When we are going out in the cold, I can usually convince him to wear one of his two favorite shirts (absolutely must be blue) and one pair of pants that is way too small for him (barely reaches his ankles). If I try to put anything else on him, he complains/cries/runs away. He has various reasons for rejecting different articles of clothing: "it's too stripey" is my favorite! He claims everything is "too big", even if it's too small. He'll endure the clothing while we're out of the house, but when we get home, before he's even through the front door, he's already stripping.

Oh, and did I mention that another thing they are obssessed with is standing on their heads? At any given time, especially when we have company, one or both of them is giving the full-on view of his underside!

Visitors to our house have come to expect being greeted by two naked boys, even in the dead of winter. Grandma and Grandpa, on the other hand, are always horrified. They continuously suggest that we turn the heat down until the boys beg for clothing.

I suspect the best thing any of us can do is to keep in mind that this will seem really funny soon enough and make for GREAT stories to tell when they are teenagers/adults!

[lindberg99]

Sounds normal to me. My middle son is 9 yo. He will only wear t-shirts and they have to be plain or striped, no writing (although he does wear a t-shirt from a triathlon he competed in). He will only wear elastic waist pants and will only wear boxer briefs, and they have to be solid, dark colors. I found some on sale at Old Navy that were...gasp...WHITE! He won't wear them. He also won't wear white socks. His new thing this year is that he doesn't want to wear anything other than a fleece coat and never wants to wear a hat or gloves.

It's really not that big of a deal, other than me being irritated he won't wear the white socks or underwear. But I'll just save them for his younger brother, although who knows what his clothing preferences will be!

[ecoteat]

DD is pretty particular about how her tights and socks fit. There can be NO wrinkles, or she'll be a whining puddle on the floor.

[_betsy_]

My 3 year and 3 month old DD isn't this extreme, but I can see it coming.

The other day she was going to a holiday party. I put her in a new dress she got from her aunt (which usually would mean she'd want to wear it to the party, to bed, and everyday until it fell apart). This one, however, reduced her to a puddle of heaving sobs on the floor, choking out, through the tears: "But, Mama, I don't *love* this dress!" (She wanted to wear her hot pink velvet on top, tulle skirted party dress, but that's more appropriate for the wedding she wore it to than a Christmas event at a seminary).

I was *this close* to getting her on video. I was tempted, but I didn't do it!