dd told me she loves daddy more...

[momtoS]

I was so upset. I do so much with her and I am a SAHM and dedicate alot of time and effort to raising her.....last night she threw a granola bar at me...then when I told her she could not have another....

She said she threw it because she loves daddy more than me.

I was heartbroken...and didn't know what to say...

[Caneel]

I hear ya. I only have one kiddo so I have less experience to draw from. I think is it normal for kids to focus emotions of all sorts on different parents at different times. She may be in a Daddy phase right now and it will be your turn next week.

We went through a period where DS was very aggresive towards me but just loved his Daddy to pieces and it was hard. And then it was over.

[jeliphish]

How old is your DD? I know easier said than done but try not to take it personally. Our 3 year old has said that about each of us but will also swear with such validity that there are dinosaurs in her room and she has 6 baby monkeys in her tummy and she is "allergic" to water. Toddlers and children are very narsassistic (sp? Sorry on my phone) by nature and don't have the ability to think outside the "now" especially with empathy. They are self serving and that it completely normal and the way nature intended us to be for survival purposes. If we don't trust them to cross the street alone, stay at home alone, cook dinner... Which are all rather simple physical tasks which require limited mental complexities... Then we shouldn't hold true what comes out of their mouths at times. Sure, they have limited ability for empathy as well as the ability to have mannors - but they have no ability really to think outside of the box about emotional cause and effect relationships. That's why toddlers hit, bite, and tantrum... Those actions aren't a reliable example of who they are and what they think and neither are the words they speak during especially emotionable times.
Feel better mama... You're not alone.

[justKate]

I couldn't read and not post. No experience as DD is not verbal yet, but I think there's a different way to look at it--I certainly loved my Daddy "more" as a child. I loved my Dad, cherished our play time together, and listened to him. But I needed my mom.

Not sure how old your LO is, but maybe this is her way of expressing that she recognizes there is a difference in her relationship with you as compared to her relationship with her daddy. Not bad, just a difference. Maybe she needs more time with Daddy, if that's possible?

Is she old enough to elaborate? Maybe she threw it out of frustration, because Daddy was working late or is busy with other things?

Feel better. You're a great mama.

[GuildJenn]

Kids say stuff like that all the time. They're testing their power. I think the best response is "well I love YOU very much."

[North_Of_60]

Originally Posted by jeliphish

Our 3 year old has said that about each of us but will also swear with such validity that there are dinosaurs in her room and she has 6 baby monkeys in her tummy and she is "allergic" to water.

We've heard this kind of thing too. Try not to take it personally.

[MamaMelis]

I laugh and say "I love Daddy too".

If your kids see that they have the power to hurt you on a whim, they will surely use it. I give my children the right to feel what they are feeling in the moment without making them responsible for my feelings or my insecurities.

Your kids adore you, I'm sure, you are their mother. They are also learning how to use language to get what they want and to get reactions or hurt or bring laughter or whatever. Let them learn that without attaching guilt or power to it, you know?

[BlueWolf]

My mom told me that kids go through ages and stages where they prefer one parent over another and to not take it to heart. It's how they develop relationships with others. Plus, young kids cannot really separate "like" and "love" at a young age. (I'm not sure how old your DD is). Plus, there is always something special about daughter/daddy relationships. I'm still a daddy's girl to this day.

[LemonPie]

I don't mean to trivialize your feelings OP, but try not to take it personally. This is pretty normal and common for young kids. My 4 yo did the same thing a few weeks ago

[pacificbliss]

I'm so sorry. I know it hurts to hear it but please know she doesn't really mean it and try not to tae it personally. I have to remind myself of this sometimes too, especially when I have spent the day with DS going t the aquarium and doing al sorts of special things only t hear at the end of the day, "Yeah, Daddy is home! I missed you Daddy!"

[jacie87]

When I was 6 or 7, I changed which parent I "loved" more all the time. One time I was upset at my mom and so I wrote "I hate you mom" on the wall where I knew she would see it. A week later I was upset with my dad, so I crossed out "mom" and wrote "dad" there.

I don't know how old your DD is, but while it hurts a lot to hear those kinds of things, don't take it to heart. Children are growing and changing so much and I think when they say those things it's more a reflection of temporary emotion than an overall statement of truth about how they feel.

[no5no5]

Yeah, the first time you hear this kind of thing it hurts.

By now, I've heard it enough (and "I don't love you" and "I wish I had a different mama" and "I love you the most" and "I only love girls" and "I love everything") that it doesn't bother in the slightest. I'd just say, "I'm glad you love your Daddy." Or, "Daddy's great, isn't he?" Or, "Daddy loves you too." Love isn't a competition--and you should see this as an opportunity to emphasize that.

Also, sugar can trigger some pretty bizzare reactions, in my DD, at least.

[Down2Earth]

Originally Posted by MamaMelis

I laugh and say "I love Daddy too".

If your kids see that they have the power to hurt you on a whim, they will surely use it. I give my children the right to feel what they are feeling in the moment without making them responsible for my feelings or my insecurities.

Your kids adore you, I'm sure, you are their mother. They are also learning how to use language to get what they want and to get reactions or hurt or bring laughter or whatever. Let them learn that without attaching guilt or power to it, you know?

I remember getting in trouble and screaming, "I hate you, I want Mom (or Dad.)" Your daughter loves you. It's a phase.