ok- this is probably going to be long- but rather than start 5 new threads, I thought I'd just spill it all in one...
DS (now almost 9 mos) has never been a stellar sleeper -when he was really tiny he'd sleep a few good chunks at night- and then NOT AT ALL during the day...now he naps 2 x day about 1-1.5 hrs (with an occ. 3rd for about 30 min) but wakes up SO MANY TIMES at night. It's like some kind of war torture.
He will go to sleep at nap time and bed time relatively easily- with story, nursing, rocking and then I (or occ. DH) lie next to him while he gets himself to sleep. The last part was my genius plan as I figured if he can get himself to sleep with us lying there at bedtime, he could get himself back to sleep in the middle of the night- as we'd be lying there then, too. But so far it's not happening. The night waking is slaying me...He's down at 7. Then awake a few times before DH and I come to bed (about 11) I nurse him again when we do come to bed. Then he's awake every hour or so through the night. Sometimes FOR and hour or so. And recently he's just added in this crazy long whining and whining in the middle of the night.
Something needs to change at night as I am losing my stinkin' mind.
Everyone around us is plugging CIO and/or moving him to his own bed.
I am so not a fan of CIO. And I feel like honestly he sleeps better next to me (as evidenced by the fact that even when I'm not in bed yet he wakes up several times)
Last night we tried something a little new...I didn't think it was that big of a change- but DS had quite a different reaction- so it must have been different enough... DH did the whole routine of bath, book, bottle and bed. DS went down like a champ...and then was up 30 min later. I went in and laid next to him- pretending to sleep. That way I was physically there for him (like I would be in the middle of the night) but it was up to him to get himself back to sleep. (In the past I would have snuggled into him more and held his nuk for him- as he doesn't keep it in his mouth himself) But last night I just laid there with my eyes closed, on my back, near him...and let him be in charge of his nuk and getting himself back to sleep. He cried. Hard. Then he would remember his nuk and snuggle on my arm and get quiet...and then start the crying again in a few minutes. It went on and on - crying, nuk, crying, nuk for about 30 min. Then he kept the nuk in and took about 10 min to fall asleep. He woke up once more about 15 min later- DH went in and did the same routine and DS was back asleep in minutes. He slept until 11:30, when I nursed him again and he fell asleep. He didn't end up waking again til 2:30...I nursed him and he tossed and squirmed for a while and got himself back to sleep. Until 6:00. Nursed him again and he fell right back to sleep. Then was up for the day at 7:30.
Feels like a success to me... Now that I've typed it all out I'm not sure what my problem with it all is. I'm hoping last night wasn't a fluke and maybe we are on to something...maybe we will get some blocks of sleep...
I guess my questions are:
1. the letting him cry while I lie next to him... is that better than letting him CIO alone? I'm not sure which sends a better message... Straight CIO feels like "I'm leaving you to get yourself to sleep all alone and you can cry, but I won't come for you" But even this new way we tried- where we are there but not really reacting kind of feels like "You have to get yourself to sleep- I'm here, but I won't do anything for you..." Maybe that's just my brain inventing mother's guilt where there shouldn't be any...
2. People keep telling me stories of their baby needing his own space to STTN (or close) - that we should stop co-sleeping and that will be the answer to more sleep for everyone. Yay? Nay? How do I know if that is the case with my DS? I can't see that being the answer- as he is like a mama-seeking missle in the middle of the night. I can set up his little area of the bed (we have a full + single pushed together to make a giant bed) and lie him on there away from me, but he always ends up wriggling over to snuggle right up next to me to sleep... Is it worth getting the pack and play from my mom and giving it a try? or...?
DS (now almost 9 mos) has never been a stellar sleeper -when he was really tiny he'd sleep a few good chunks at night- and then NOT AT ALL during the day...now he naps 2 x day about 1-1.5 hrs (with an occ. 3rd for about 30 min) but wakes up SO MANY TIMES at night. It's like some kind of war torture.
He will go to sleep at nap time and bed time relatively easily- with story, nursing, rocking and then I (or occ. DH) lie next to him while he gets himself to sleep. The last part was my genius plan as I figured if he can get himself to sleep with us lying there at bedtime, he could get himself back to sleep in the middle of the night- as we'd be lying there then, too. But so far it's not happening. The night waking is slaying me...He's down at 7. Then awake a few times before DH and I come to bed (about 11) I nurse him again when we do come to bed. Then he's awake every hour or so through the night. Sometimes FOR and hour or so. And recently he's just added in this crazy long whining and whining in the middle of the night.
Something needs to change at night as I am losing my stinkin' mind.
Everyone around us is plugging CIO and/or moving him to his own bed.
I am so not a fan of CIO. And I feel like honestly he sleeps better next to me (as evidenced by the fact that even when I'm not in bed yet he wakes up several times)
Last night we tried something a little new...I didn't think it was that big of a change- but DS had quite a different reaction- so it must have been different enough... DH did the whole routine of bath, book, bottle and bed. DS went down like a champ...and then was up 30 min later. I went in and laid next to him- pretending to sleep. That way I was physically there for him (like I would be in the middle of the night) but it was up to him to get himself back to sleep. (In the past I would have snuggled into him more and held his nuk for him- as he doesn't keep it in his mouth himself) But last night I just laid there with my eyes closed, on my back, near him...and let him be in charge of his nuk and getting himself back to sleep. He cried. Hard. Then he would remember his nuk and snuggle on my arm and get quiet...and then start the crying again in a few minutes. It went on and on - crying, nuk, crying, nuk for about 30 min. Then he kept the nuk in and took about 10 min to fall asleep. He woke up once more about 15 min later- DH went in and did the same routine and DS was back asleep in minutes. He slept until 11:30, when I nursed him again and he fell asleep. He didn't end up waking again til 2:30...I nursed him and he tossed and squirmed for a while and got himself back to sleep. Until 6:00. Nursed him again and he fell right back to sleep. Then was up for the day at 7:30.
Feels like a success to me... Now that I've typed it all out I'm not sure what my problem with it all is. I'm hoping last night wasn't a fluke and maybe we are on to something...maybe we will get some blocks of sleep...
I guess my questions are:
1. the letting him cry while I lie next to him... is that better than letting him CIO alone? I'm not sure which sends a better message... Straight CIO feels like "I'm leaving you to get yourself to sleep all alone and you can cry, but I won't come for you" But even this new way we tried- where we are there but not really reacting kind of feels like "You have to get yourself to sleep- I'm here, but I won't do anything for you..." Maybe that's just my brain inventing mother's guilt where there shouldn't be any...
2. People keep telling me stories of their baby needing his own space to STTN (or close) - that we should stop co-sleeping and that will be the answer to more sleep for everyone. Yay? Nay? How do I know if that is the case with my DS? I can't see that being the answer- as he is like a mama-seeking missle in the middle of the night. I can set up his little area of the bed (we have a full + single pushed together to make a giant bed) and lie him on there away from me, but he always ends up wriggling over to snuggle right up next to me to sleep... Is it worth getting the pack and play from my mom and giving it a try? or...?
