I’ve sort of struggled with “anorexic-type” thoughts for the past 3-4 years. It’s nothing that I’ve been diagnosed with or even really spoken to anyone about, but I know that I’m constantly doing mental gymnastics over food – amount, carbs, fats, caloric values, etc. I also really started working out hard-core in the last 3-4 years.
When I got pregnant, I recognized the importance of loosening up my thoughts for the sake of my baby. I focused on a more balanced diet – including proteins and iron-rich foods. I think I did pretty well and my baby was born in September at home- healthy and normal weight. Immediately after having her, I had those thoughts again. They were compounded by hormones and that overwhelming flabby/gross feeling that comes with that extra/skin weight that is normal after having a baby. I EBF and when she was weighed at her 4 week check, she had stayed the same as what she weighed at her 2 week check (which was less than her birth weight). This really made me stop short and re-evaluate what I was doing to myself (and to her) nutritionally. So I worked hard to discard those “fat” thoughts and focus on the baby again. She did gain weight and just turned out to be a slow gainer. She never had any medical problems and was always within “normal” weight patterns.
So the baby is three months old today. She has gained weight just fine and seems to get what she needs. When I pump, I get about 4 oz or so. The thing is that I’m having those thoughts again. Part of it is that I just don’t have the time to eat “normal” meals, but if I really scrutinize, I have to admit that I debate a lot over what I eat and only eat small amounts. There are days where I don’t eat anything until 2 or 3pm and then it’s an egg or maybe some nuts. Then I might eat something in the evening, but again, it’s a small amount. I sort of vacillate daily as to what I’ll “allow” myself to eat. There are days where I’ll just get tired of thinking of it, so I’ll eat entire meals, etc., but then I almost feel “guilty” about my intake.
I want to make sure, ultimately, that my baby is getting what she needs. I do drink a ton of water and take my vitamins. Also, I’m not overly skinny or anything. I’m 5’9” and weigh about 140 or so. I’ve still retained about 10 pounds from pregnancy and I remember my body doing the same thing with my first dd – those 10 pounds wouldn’t come off until we weaned when she was 2 years old.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any input with this. I’m assuming that she’ll get what she needs and my body will find a way to make it even if I have a hard food day…
When I got pregnant, I recognized the importance of loosening up my thoughts for the sake of my baby. I focused on a more balanced diet – including proteins and iron-rich foods. I think I did pretty well and my baby was born in September at home- healthy and normal weight. Immediately after having her, I had those thoughts again. They were compounded by hormones and that overwhelming flabby/gross feeling that comes with that extra/skin weight that is normal after having a baby. I EBF and when she was weighed at her 4 week check, she had stayed the same as what she weighed at her 2 week check (which was less than her birth weight). This really made me stop short and re-evaluate what I was doing to myself (and to her) nutritionally. So I worked hard to discard those “fat” thoughts and focus on the baby again. She did gain weight and just turned out to be a slow gainer. She never had any medical problems and was always within “normal” weight patterns.
So the baby is three months old today. She has gained weight just fine and seems to get what she needs. When I pump, I get about 4 oz or so. The thing is that I’m having those thoughts again. Part of it is that I just don’t have the time to eat “normal” meals, but if I really scrutinize, I have to admit that I debate a lot over what I eat and only eat small amounts. There are days where I don’t eat anything until 2 or 3pm and then it’s an egg or maybe some nuts. Then I might eat something in the evening, but again, it’s a small amount. I sort of vacillate daily as to what I’ll “allow” myself to eat. There are days where I’ll just get tired of thinking of it, so I’ll eat entire meals, etc., but then I almost feel “guilty” about my intake.
I want to make sure, ultimately, that my baby is getting what she needs. I do drink a ton of water and take my vitamins. Also, I’m not overly skinny or anything. I’m 5’9” and weigh about 140 or so. I’ve still retained about 10 pounds from pregnancy and I remember my body doing the same thing with my first dd – those 10 pounds wouldn’t come off until we weaned when she was 2 years old.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any input with this. I’m assuming that she’ll get what she needs and my body will find a way to make it even if I have a hard food day…
