Hawaii with a 3-4 month old?

[feminist~mama]

My mom has asked my older dd to go to Hawaii with her in September. My dd has taken a couple of trips with her in the past and I've come to the conclusion that it's just not something I feel comfortable with anymore.

So my options are:

1) Say no and tell mom I don't want my dd to miss school or that it's too far away or that it's too hectic right then with our schedule or a combination of all 3...

2) Say no and tell mom the truth (which is the least attractive option to me- it'll hurt her feelings)

3) Offer to go with them. I'll still be on maternity leave- just the tail end of it likely- I think I'm going back to work after about 4 months.

So my question is this- how much fun would I potentially have going to Hawaii with an infant? I realized the other day that I'd pretty much have to pretend like I was there alone- I can't really ask my mom to watch the baby while I go swim with my older dd or for a bike ride or whatever. And obviously the baby will be too little for *most* activities, right?

I'm envisioning time by the pool/on the beach- but even that would be limited because of sun exposure... Hiking with the babe in a carrier... No bike riding because the babe is too little...

Ugh. This is one of those times that I wish I'd said "no" 2 years ago... then I wouldn't have to deal with this now! And really, part of the problem is that I don't know that I'm going to feel okay letting my mom go off and do stuff with my older daughter either...

Sigh. Any thoughts anyone? (And just to clarify- my mom is not dangerous, just negligent... The "straw that broke the camel's back" for me was when she left my dd in a gas station in LA for 20-30 minutes while my mom sat in the car eating her lunch- she had no idea what my 10-year-old dd was doing in the gas station... I still get a little nauseous when I think about what *could* have happened!)

[mckittre]

I suppose you couldn't bike ride. But you could cover up baby from the sun and do pretty much anything else, I'd think.

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

Well, I live in Hawaii, and we do lots of things with the baby. We recently spent all day at the Eddie Aikau surf competition with all of the kids! We have a little pop up cabana, and a solar veil sling, and big floppy hats - it all works! I bet you'll have lots of fun!

[MamaMelis]

Absolutely! IMO that is one of the easiest times to travel with a babe as they don't yet really have any sort of established nap schedule, so can just go with your flow. THey are also easy as they don't need food or whatnot carted along nurse, and babywear them everywhere!

Honestly it sounds like heaven to me on a 20 degree night in the Northeast!

[Katsmamajama]

Not exactly the same thing, but anyway....

I live in Hawaii, and I just had DD2 on 11-21. My parents flew in on 11-27 for 2 weeks and to help with the baby. We went all over the place! The Arizona Memorial, Aloha Tower, we went to the beach a few times, even around Aloha Stadium for the flea market. My sling was/is a godsend, and the preferential treatment (door holding, seat offers, etc.) wasn't too shabby either! It was a blast, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it too!

[red and lulu]

nak

i took dd to hawaii when she was 3 mo and we had a blast. she was a peach on the plane (we flew from mass.)-- didnt have to worry about snacks or toys, i wore her right through security, it was pretty easy. she didnt fuss at all. she loved swimming. i put her in a big floppy uv hat and long sleeve swim shirt and let her go bottomless. no sunburn. at the beach she napped butt naked under an umbrella under a tree. i figured it was no different than being home with her in the summer. just bring a carrier and stay hydrated.

I say go for it.

[Ola_]

Since you said that you're not even sure you'd be comfortable with your mom taking DD to outings, I'd probably go with option 1 (make up some excuse/combination of excuses).