Need response to MIL...

[Tee25]

She just sent me via email a CNN story "22 dead from measles in Zimbabwe". DD is not vaccinated (needless to say MIL doesn't really approve of this) and is 6 months old...yes it has come to mind that she may not realize that the MMR shot isn't given to babies under 12 months old. But I would like to respond to this email...I am just not sure where to begin or what to say other than access to medical care, and malnutrition may have played a role! She didn't say anything to me personally, just simply emailed the story to DH and me.

Anyone care to help me with a response?

Eta: link to article http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa...les/index.html

[mamachandi]

well you may not like my response but this is what we did. I simply told my mother in law (and countless other relatives/friends) that we had changed our mind and decided to vax the kids. Now, we didnt really vax them, but it got them off our backs (that was 15 years ago and needlesss to say we haven't really heard a peep about it since )
I really do not see the need to *prove anything* to anyone because it is a personal choice.

[Fyrestorm]

What exactly does your child have in common with a child living in Zimbabwe?

It is likely to further strain Zimbabwe's health system, which last year linked nearly 5,000 deaths to a cholera epidemic. In the past three months, five people have died from cholera, but the WHO said the situation will not be as bad as last year.

Is she as worried about the cholera outbreak there effecting your child?

[caned & able]

Why do you share this kind of info with your MIL? It is really none of her business and you can tell her to butt out or do what mamachandi said and lie. This is none of anyone's business.

[dknees]

Well, my sarcastic answer is, 'thank you for the info. If we ever decide to travel to Zimbabwe, I'll keep this in mind.'

I probably would just tell her that you've done your research on vaccines and VPDs and that you've made your decision. You're thankful that she's concerned, but you really don't require any "information" or "helpful links", so in the future, please don't bring up the subject. Case closed. She raised her children, now it's your turn to raise yours.

[artgoddess]

Honestly I just wouldn't respond, it's none of her business. I don't think my in-laws have any clue about the VAX status of our kids. If you talk to her in person and she asks if you got her email you can say, "yep." and nothing else. if she asks what you though you can say, "It was interesting, did you hear about the horrible rain they got in Florida last week?"

She doesn't agree with you and that's okay. She doesn't have to agree with you for you to what is right for your family. There is really no reason for you to feel like you have to convince her of anything.

[mamakah]

My mom used to do this. It really bothered me. In response I would send her the multiple articles I found about vaccines being ineffective, harming children, etc. Once she read the stuff herself (I only sent her articles from sites like CNN, MSNBC, etc. so she would feel that it was legitemate) she couldn't deny that our decision not to vaccinate was a good one. Now she sends me anti vax stuff! I try not to preach my vax stance to people, but once they start sending me "your child will die" messages, that's when the flood gates open.

[Addy's Mom]

I would just ignore it. There are countless parenting philosophical issues today and you won't agree with many people on them. Better to just not engage...

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by mamakah

... (I only sent her articles from sites like CNN, MSNBC, etc. so she would feel that it was legitemate) ..., but once they start sending me "your child will die" messages, that's when the flood gates open.

OOH I would love to have a sticky of those articles for when those messages arrive.

I got this one from my mom after ignoring her email about the swine flu vax: "at least promise me you will take her to the hospital if her lips turn blue."

Duh.



ETA - I would also ignore the email. If she continues, then open the flood gates with those anti-vax articles.

[Tee25]

Alright I will ignore for now. It's so entirely frustrating that she is allowed to send me pro-vax crap but if I sent her anti-vax stuff she probably would get offended and not read any of it. Such a double standard.

And yes hindsight is 20/20. I think my hubby was the one who actually mentioned we would not be vaccinating. I don't think he came out and said it but somehow it was brought up in a conversation and he didn't want to outright lie to her. Understandable, but if I had to do it over again, this is a subject that I would maybe just say "We're delaying vaccines for now" or something other than the truth.

Thanks for the replies...I like the floodgates email. I think sooner or later, there will be an opportunity for this! Especially if I keep ignoring her pro-vax email articles.

[SunshineJ]

If I felt I had to reply, I'd send her a reply something like this: How tragic. It's a real shame how a lack of good nutrition and unsanitary conditions can turn any illness into something fatal. Hopefully things improve for people in that country.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

If I felt I had to reply, I'd send her a reply something like this: How tragic. It's a real shame how a lack of good nutrition and unsanitary conditions can turn any illness into something fatal. Hopefully things improve for people in that country.

Or an example of a large outbreak in a Western Country...
Measles "is generally looked upon as one of the most harmless diseases"according to Kurt Elsner, M.D. in 1908

http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive...619C946997D6CF
__________________________________________________

Here is the information on the Switzerland Measles outbreak:

http://www.eurosurveillance.org/ew/2007/070726.asp

483 cases total for November 2006- July 2007.


Quote:
Six percent of the 445 cases for whom a detailed questionnaire had been submitted were vaccinated against measles (18 with one dose and nine with two doses), 87% were unvaccinated, and the vaccination status of the remaining 7% was unknown. There were 43 cases (10%) requiring hospitalization. Among 445 cases for whom information about complications was available, four cases were reported with encephalitis (1%), all among children, 29 cases with pneumonia (7%, median age 10 years), and 31 cases with otitis media [earache](7%). No deaths were reported.
http://www.eurosurveillance.org/edit...8/080221_1.asp
Switzerland Measles Outbreak - From Nov 2006 to Feb 2008:

"1405 cases
1319 cases for which detailed information available**

Hospitalizations** 104 -- 7.9%
Pneumonia** 63 -- 4.8%
Otitis Media (ear aches)** 62 -- 4.7%
Encephalitis** 6 -- 0.5%

The proportion of vaccinated patients has been low for all ages (Figure 4). There were 104 cases (8% of 1,319 cases for whom information about hospitalisation and complications were available) who required hospitalisation. Six cases were reported with encephalitis or suspicion of encephalitis (0.5%), all among children. No deaths have been reported." The average age is eleven.
_________________________________________________
Measles outbreak in Gibraltar, August–October 2008
http://www.eurosurveillance.org/View...rticleId=19034
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1962, the CDC:
http://www.ajph.org/cgi/reprint/52/Suppl_2/1.pdf

[Tee25]

Wow thanks Emmeline that information! I think I may send this to her even just "to put her mind at ease" showing a Western Country outbreak. Quite the difference in results especially when the Westerners were *gasp* not vaccinated as well!

[writteninkursive]

Um yeah. A lot of people in the 50's and 60's had Measles and recovered just fine! (My mom did and that woman is healthy as an ox today!). Measles are GREAT for the immune system, and there's actually evidence mounting that NOT getting Measles as a child can lead to asthma and allergy problems later in the life. As kids, we need the immune system boost.

[lastrid]

How old is your MIL? It's likely that she had measles herself, and if not her, many people in her immediate family probably had it and all survived.

[claddaghmom]

I say go w/ it....become super paranoid and scared. Call her several times a day to tell her you're scared b/c DD coughed or hiccuped. Remind her everytime you call that she can't get the MMR for X months. Tell her you can't sleep at night. What will you do?

[ema-adama]

I used to get such emails until I let MIL know that if I needed more information I would ask her for it. If I didn't ask, I didn't want it. It's a very annoying way of making your point.

And, Zimbabwe is in a total shambles. The comparison between Zimbabwe and any developed country is rather off. There is practically no infrastructure or services available with food being a scarce comodity for many people. Mugabe is a real hero . But that is a whole different rant.

[mamakah]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

OOH I would love to have a sticky of those articles for when those messages arrive.

I got this one from my mom after ignoring her email about the swine flu vax: "at least promise me you will take her to the hospital if her lips turn blue."

Duh.

LOL! Oh that is something my mom would say. I'll try to go through my email and see if I still have everything I've sent her. I'm pretty sure I got most of them from this forum!